Hello beautiful
Do you feel it?
The dreams you had
Coming true

You are beautiful
Are you beautiful?
At least I think you are
It is my truth

That what you feel
Is what is real
Do you feel beautiful?
Do you feel love?

Just a throwaway poem
For someone that I'll never know
Someone who is beautiful
Its my way to say hello

So hello beautiful
There are fires in hell
And storms on the seas
And darkness in between the points of light
There is loss in life
And pain in love
And hope in the bitterness of sorrow
And then there is you

Hello beautiful

Oh they flow, my failures
As a river towards the valley
The defining feature in an otherwise
Sparse, pale
Landscape

Each sin like a raindrop burgeons on
And my river grows
Oh my river flows

Steady as a sieve, leaking o’er my head
In my eyes, soaking into my soil
And I’m flooded, no I cannot breathe
Under the weight of my stream
But ****** if I’ll open my mouth and
Let the water course down my throat
In my lungs

****** if I’ll drown
No I cannot let them find me
Bloated
Sodden
Choked by the rush as it consumes me

But how I want to
How one scream to release me weighs
On my mind heavier than the river I’ve made
A pressure the ocean itself
Could never hope to match

And what a trick it is
What a sick practical humour of the universe
That my river grows
And my river grows
Only as I try to keep my mouth shut

Once upon a time I could say
I never understood why
‘they’
did what they did, what I do
why did we let them dam break?
oh god I know

There’s nothing to be done
It won’t bring him back.
The music still plays from the playlist.
The moon still blooms on spring nights.
But I am left alone
by the actions of my own hands.
Did I freeze him out of my life?
I rode him over his imperfections.
But missed the fact that my
Lack of acceptance was a bigger failing.
I want to be a woman that does not
Need the constant attention of men.
yet my dark red lipstick is for them
And my **** bra and *******
that I wear just in case
Well just in case.
Belies my outward persona.
I am tired of writing sad poems
Full of loss and death.
Yet if I stop I know
I will crawl back to it.
I feel lost like an imposter.
That  has forgotten
who they really are.
One day I am afraid
That when I wash the make up
Off my face at night.
I will not know
Who is under it.

Hell, isn't it?
Your insides yearning to flee.
Don't give me that look, you ****!
You deluded yourself, not me.

Didn't I warn you?
Didn't I tell you to stop?
But you said you could handle it.
You said you'll never tap.

But why is this house now empty?
Where did the warmth go?
I told you it will never be easy.
But you opted to start the show.

Now you left me with nothing.
As you ran yourself to hide.
You just proved again what a fool I am.
For trusting you sublime.

Worthless soul
Is afraid and faint
Crawls through night
That fills wrecked veins

Voice is cracked
And nights are cruel
The absence of light
Ensnaring the fire

Destiny is veiled
And faith is cruel
Hope is rejected
Cry is burning the air

Withered soul
Is ashamed and cold
Waiting for rain
That shall wash your pain away

Barred wishes
Refused fears
Broken knees
And spilled tears

Do not consider
the idea of forever
it will wither
like a beautiful sunflower

People come
people go
but they also stays
but not always

For our fallacy
of happy ever after
The expectancy of something greater
will just crumple into ruins

It will lead us to frustration
that we will no more admire
the beauty of life
the beauty of our own being

Life doesn't revolve
into others nor self
Remember that He is involve
He is the center of our shelf

- E.V.

The liberty bodice
With buttons galore
The many skirts to impress
That sticky out dress.
The red lips, the curly hair
The special wave knocked in
One’s Elvis style quiff.
One sniff, one night
One lift tonight
The jive, the hand shake
The gentleman sir at the gate.
The shoes, the stockings,
The pencil seam on the calf
How the other half
Live, they jive.

I waited
for what felt like a day
in a glass room with skin-colored curtains
things going in, things coming out

He came in, panting hard
and kneeled beside the cold table where I sat
Face reddening in the cheeks
on the nose,
just like mine

When I told him,
two tears fell out of each his eyes
and I thought
I was made
of stone

He carried me through the wet April snow,
put us in a cab
and took me home

There was a bath running
and steam on the mirror

I got undressed for the third time that day
and sank
into the hot
white bubbles

He held my right knee
with his left hand
and told me
we weren’t going to school tomorrow