Alone- broken and tired,
Body is still, face is numb,
Brain rewired,
Heart is dumb.
I’m so tired of being tired.

They dismantled the cords- swore on a liar.
I stand trial for my sins.
Tear me apart. Watch me expire.
Abandonment always wins.
I don’t miss this.

The lamb approaches slaughter,
Hands are pinned, breathing shallows.
She forgets everything they taught her.
The hangman is hanging from the gallows.
I don’t miss this.

I do not want to be missed,
Forgotten by the one I kissed.
Breathe in the smoke,
I’m forgotten by the discontent I awoke.
I don’t miss this.

At Twilight, the screaming halts.
We point the finger and denounce our faults.
He stands silences with a hole inside his heart,
For he watched this city go up in flames and fall apart.
He tried to put out the fire for hours- as he should…
But he used a can of gasoline: The only thing he could.
We’re making up for the old time we lost,
Retracing our steps to the bridges we once crossed.
We wonder these city streets like lost cats,
Trying our hand at love and preying upon rats.
Like us, the sunlight here is artificial,
Manufactured and stamped by our officials.
It sinks below the horizon and called to the dead,
As Twilight approaches and words go unsaid.

I stand alone in a crowded room,
My state of mind open for anyone to assume.
I’m quiet and cold with rain soaked skin,
The music rings loud and the lights are dim.
I’m wading quietly through screaming water.
The flood left the others like lambs awaiting slaughter.
Oblivious- they don’t care.
Swimming through the flood is a perilous dare.
Outside these walls, the lonely scream from the rooftops,
Their voices go unheard- drowning in the endless pour of raindrops.
The roof is leaking now...the room suggests another dance.
Meanwhile, the desperate call out for one final chance.
They are as alone as I am here.
We fill the room to our necks with hopeless tears.

I’d been chasing after all the things my plain life lacks,
When somehow my fool got caught up between the tracks.
It’s much too late to call for help- The others are far ahead of me.
I don’t mind much anyways- I don’t want to be pulled free.
Instead, hit me with a train of quiet love,
And fly away from me with the grace of an early mourning dove.
My panic keeps me awake,
I know this time around, nothing here is fake.
I’ve fallen into this desperate reality,
Where I drown in the waves across your vast sea.
I find *** within a silver bullet,
Point your gun at me, lock it, and pull it.
I have never been more unprepared-
This time around, my heart is true, though scared.
Up until this moment, all I’ve ever had was my own bare flesh.
But now, I’ve got more than enough to get off my chest.
My lonely nights never end,
So I beg you- tell me what I need to hear...let’s play pretend.
You are the most beautiful one to have ever crossed my eyes,
So let’s lay here in the dark and call for a compromise.
For you, I would give it all away.
I would serve you my heart on a golden platter if I may.
Shoot me with your silver bullet,
Then take my bleeding heart and just hold it.
Fill my lungs with your sweetest perfume,
Until they fail me here in your lovely room.
I’ll write for you, melodies I will never sing,
And melt you away like the snow in the warming spring.
I will keep my words ever so personal,
Until my lonely disease has deemed me terminal.
With my final dying words,
I will lay here on these tracks-
I’ll sing you the sweetest song ever to be heard.

When I disappear, do you care where I hide?
When I return, will you know that I tried?
Please, tell me a lie to ease my panicked mind.
Please, let me inhale and rewind.
Let me exhale and tell you every hope I’ve ever had.
I want to tell you about how my life so far has only been ever so sad.
My mind is like the lonely boy on the street,
Standing alone at a stop sign waiting for the next bus to leave.
Waiting to get away from broken hopes and dreams,
Maybe finding some love with a stranger sitting in an empty seat.
Maybe I don’t know you well now,
But my dear, I’d like to turn that around.
Why?
Why would I lie?
I want to try with you.
I don’t care where this bus goes as long as you sit beside me,
Any destination with you would leave my heart free.
Don’t say my words are too soon spoken,
Just know my heart is set to be broken.
I’ve made myself a bed I cannot sleep in,
I’ve created a game for which I cannot win.
I need a lantern to hold back the night,
I need a love to make it through this fight.
What does it matter what the others say?
Just hold my hand...Please stay.
All lovers are strangers at the start.
But if two heart open to one another, they create strange art.
Some sort of rhythms between souls,
Two parts to complete one whole.
If we take the same bus to nowhere,
It’s best we do more than just stare.
If you let me breathe you in,
I’ll let you breathe out through my skin.
So sit beside me, darling,
And let this bus take us somewhere worth following.

A flip of a coin is where my luck runs thin,
Heads or tails- only one side may win.
Behind this concealing mask they see,
I am nothing of what they expect me to be.
I am constructed of empty expectations,
They pull me apart in opposite directions.
My heart is full of insecurity,
I am trained to think of myself with parasitic peculiarity.
My fear stems from the burning stare of a crowd,
In which no love is offered and no love is found.
My heart longs to be accepted,
But even my own loathing is not respected.
The crowd tells me how to smile,
How to fix my hair,
How I should smell and what I should wear.
Half-heartedly I follow their direction,
But still they offer me no discretion.
I am only in search of a sliver of love,
But I don’t even worship the one they tell me so surely rules above.
Some things, I just cannot change.
And for that, they’ll only find me strange.
When I walk down the dimly lit street,
I pull my mask up further and hurry my feet.
Though not all seem to truly care,
I still cannot manage to escape their stare.
We follow their printed plan with oblivious ease,
Go to work, pay the bills- Yet it will never be enough to please.
Somewhere, someone offers a handshake,
Though it offers no warmth in its wake.
I think now that I will always feel small- no matter how short and no matter how tall.
I am too boring, I am too gross.
I am too rich, I am too broke.
I am too foolish, I am too sad.
I am too tired, and I am too mad.
So I walk along and flip the coin another time,
Again, it is my face I choose to hide.

The taste of cold in the air is as still as your body as you sleep,
Warm enough to live, cold enough to chill, ever so sweet.
Frost covers the final leaves of Fall,
Glistening white, fueling the withdrawal.
Don’t feel as though we are nearing the end, my dear.
For by my side, I assure you have nothing to fear.
The birds flock south for the winter,
But not us, we stay behind to freeze and wither.
The heavy air holds steady silence,
Hold my hand and we’ll resist the violence.
A city of hearts is abandoned in ruin,
Only we remain here, warming this empty tomb.
I will shield your eyes from such a mournful sight,
I will remain here with you- I will be your light.
Time can stand still, but continues moving forward.
I promise we will not be silent forever, for one day we’ll be heard.
Let our voices warm the air,
Let us break the silence- It’s only fair.
We are not welcome here, but we have hearts beyond compare.