I was taught by a man
That smelled heavily of smoke
Of the difference of certain
Brands of cigarettes
And the place to smoke them

I don’t remember much of that lesson
As I quit over twenty years ago
Except that Lucky Strikes should
Be smoked outside... alone...
In the park.

John died last night, my wife reported

Sadness:

Mostly for him

Some for me

As I’m reminded

My days are numbered

He was a good old guy:

Led a full life

Survived war

And marriage

I wondered what he thought at the end

Knowing his time had come

What an inglorious finale?

Or

Just

Relief to finally be departing

This absurd life?    

I’d invited him to visit my studio

The last time we spoke

He said he would like that …...

And if i treat you unfairly
And if i don't reply you like i should
And if i play you like a fiddle
Making you suffer in bits of ways
It's because you deserve it
And i deserved better

I wish that someone was interested enough
In me
To read between the lines and read
Deep
To point out where I failed
And places I was strong
To stalk me and examine me
And notice my song
My rhymes
My patterns
And rythyms
And tell me that they notice me, because I
Would never guess that anyone would ever
Notice me

never trust a poet's words
they sound sweet at first
but you'll notice the emotion in their words
it all sounds too...
fake
"i love you like the sea loves the shore"
becomes too scripted
you hear the small tinge of love actually left in their voice
hoping
hoping it could mean something
but it doesn't
it never does
it's just the way they say it
one day, after they have left
you will find their poems, and they will be the exact words that they had said to you
once long ago

I think I need a girlfriend
But maybe then I don’t
Suffice to say
That when the day
Comes I get what I want, I won’t

Waste a minute, waste a moment
A nanosecond or more
I’m by no means clingy
But the joy she’ll bring me
I’ll glady return in scores

I think I need a girlfriend
My hand is far too cold
It speaks to me
(Between *******)
And asks for another to hold

Was that too much information?
If it was, apologies are due
It’s just, you see
The overwhelming lonely
Like *****, sometimes accrues

I need to shut up if I want a girlfriend
My censorship is not the best
My intentions are pure
But my words get obscured
As soon as they leave my chest

Because... ugh... and also... grrr
And ****! And ****! And sigh
I just want... you know
So we can... smile?
And if someone would give it a try

Then I would love and cherish a girlfriend
Id wipe away the tears
From her, from me
And everything
And love her, far or near

I’m distant and I’m awkward
I’m clumsy and sometimes stupid
I’ve been the ****
Of love, a joke
And the victim of broken arrows from Cupid

I think I need a girlfriend
Who sees me for the poetry
Without a word spoke
Nor the ones that I wrote
Just one who accepts me for me