I wish to be understood,
More than anything,
To understand my mind,
How its works in its mysterious ways,
To reach deep into my soul and find-
The truth

To truly feel and understand-
Not just the surface,
But beneath-
All within me-
intertwined

They may think they know me,
Yet no one really does,
As much as they believe,
I am really just alone,
Deep in my delicate and intricate thoughts

Understand them -
My thinking
My love
My beliefs
My interests

To free-
My covered and hidden true self,
Out of its darkness-
Free of worry,
Free from judgment

To speak with no words,
Rooted in one another,
Then Interchangeable-
Then I will be understood

-JJ
13/04/25

I wish I was free
A spirit,
A soul,
In which to glide-
Like a gust of wind,
through the world,
Of my own pace-
Of my own feelings-
my own choice-
My rights-
My - freedom

To experience life,
Like its supposed to be,
Not trapped by dependency,
And confined to flesh,
Moving so slowly -
Living for others,
Instead of myself

To do as I wish,
Fly with the birds ,
Explore other lives,
Among the pink and orange of the sky

Of which a life I can only dream,
Full of happiness,
-Serenity,
In my dreams I will come to you,
So don’t forget me,
My place of comfort,
Forever held in my mind

-JJ
01/03/25

Gushing forwards,
only to slide and slip past,
Rolling over and over like mountains,
Sometimes she was so calm and peaceful,
Seconds later so angry and harsh,
As if trying to move the tired monuments that stood there,
Making her look weak,
and her efforts futile,
Yet not so far away she slides easily up,
The ashes and remains of what were tough and solid boulders.

-JJ
22/12/23

If you asked me my future job,
I would say “I’m not sure”,
But if asked me my dream job,
I would say - music
Singing,
Song writing,
To be in a band,
Though I know it is unrealistic and it may always stay as just that- a dream

But to touch people souls,
-Their hearts
Like music does to me ,
To make them feel every word-
Every note-
To be changed just in that moment
For there worries to melt away-
Escape from the world,
Or reveal the worlds beauty-
Taken away in a boat through stream of melodies,
- My melodies

-JJ
18/04/25

They say “you don’t know true sadness”,
Yet how could that be true?
They have forgotten what it was ike to be a teenager,
Because at that age,
Is when you feel - everything -
The hight of all emotion-
The most intense-
Biologically it’s true,
You may have not lost or experienced like they have,
But to be at this age,
Is the ongoing battle,
Into the new uncertain world-
Figure out who you are,
Juggling through the circus that is school,
Being chucked around like a puppet by society,
While your brain is still developing

You feel it all-
The ecstatic happiness and joy,
And being dragged down to depth of your mind,
Where there is no escape,
Being taken over and drowned by anxiety and stress,
The fear of being judged by everything and everyone,
Easier for others- while harder for some
-So don’t you dare forget that everyone has struggles
Even if they try to hide them from the world

-JJ
15/04/25

Unexplainable,
The way it makes you feel,
What it does to you,
Filling you with ecstasy,  
Or with despair,
But in reassurance of your feelings,
Always there,
No matter when or why,
Lifting you,
Moving-
With its endless possibilities,
In the sea of symphonies,

Untouchable-
The lyrics,
Perfectly placed,
Making my body move,
In coordination with my soul,
How can they sit still?
Don’t they feel it?
Being levitated

The instruments,
Becoming intwined with my heart,
Taking over my body,
My worries - that plagued me,
But in that moment -
They were never there,
And I am saved,
In total bliss - Heaven -
For it will always be favorite poem

-JJ
17/03/25

Nothing screams freedom,
- like wild horses
Running in the distance-
The setting sun,
Shining on them,
Reveling their beauty,
I wish to be as free as them,
And I hope to see them one day-
So I can feel that freedom,
Even if only for a short moment

-JJ
18/04/25

02/01/25
The new moon looking down,
Peacefully and motherly,
Observing,
unaware of her beauty,
With her loyal bright subject shining nearby,
The weak lights below twinkling with envy trying to compete,  
The painted sunset peaking through the dark skeletons of the trees,
Framing her and completing the picture,
The ugly cars and buildings trying to hide the warm orange light beneath her,
But they could never win.
Eventually the thick lace of clouds slowly swallow up the orange,
turning yellow,
Then teal,
Finally resting at blue,
Putting the sun to sleep,
Although it is too beautiful for us to witness,
Leaving the moon to watch over.

- JJ

At the end of the day,
It’s always me and music,
Nothing could ever change it,
Replace it,
For it was my whole world-
Kept it spinning,
Without it,
If could not survive,
Never abandoned me,
Held my heart,
Moved my soul, attached,
I hope to find someone who understands,
Understands like music does,

because music was always there,
The worst times,
The best times,
Even when everything was plummeting ,
Despaired-
It never left me,
My shoulder to cry on,
To understand and comfort,
Like no person would,
When I was left out and alone,
It never left me,
for it is part of me,
So even thought it’s strange,  
I really could not live without my sweet saviour of symphonies

-JJ
17/03/25

The beauty of nature,
The grass rattling in the spring wind,
The intertwining branches,
The carpet of daffodils,
Their yellow faces smiling in the sun,
Birds tweeting with excitement,
Singing their song,

A jay blessed us with its presence,
The brown hiding the sliver of blue,
The pairs of chatterbox geese,
Always together

People cluster in awe of the
Monet of opening magnolias,
The new pink and yellow,
With the old green and brown,
Yet all in symphony,
An orchestra of color -
Beginning to unfold

-JJ
16/03/25

The Secret Suffering of the soul,
Familiar,
yet so unfamiliar,
Thoughts to far-
From those hurting hearts

so inferior,
to their horrors,
-Stuck-
-Stuck-
in my bedroom

the blind world.
choose to close your eyes.
but, when you turn your heads,
The blood still sheads
Won’t they learn?

How do they do it?
Live in this world,
where right and wrong cannot be told

-JJ
Jan 2025

My mother told me today the fact,
That more bombs had been dropped on Gaza by the Israelis,
That the whole of world war 2
-world war 2.

When learning about the horrors of the holocaust,
The obvious question arises-
How did that happen?
How did no one help?
How did no one notice?
Is so unfortunately clear now,
People don’t care,
Somehow
I could not tell you why,
I could not begin to understand

You’d think,
We all thought,
It would never happen again,
But if it did-
The whole world would stop,
But of course, once again, it is not

While many people care,
And help as much as they can,
There too many people,
so many governments,
Who turn a blind eye-
HOW?
Are they not human?
Maybe some people don’t know,
Yet I find that hard to believe,
People would rather stay ignorant,
It’s easier I suppose,
‘Ignorance is bliss’-
Ignores them to carry on with their lives,
But what about their lives?

And these right wing news companies,
Never telling the full truth,
They’d only report about the one missile that got through to Israel by Yemen,
But never dare to mention the hundreds,
Destroying
Slaughtering
Murdering
These poor innocent people,
Children who have only just began their life-
How can people say it’s not a genocide?
When over 60 000 people have been killed

More bombs than world war 2,
And the world protects the murders,
It makes me sick
My heart will forever break for them,
I will never not think of them-
The lost,
The murdered,
They cried out for help,
They will get their justice- I pray

I can imagine in the future,
The memorials and tributes,
To remember this horrible time,
Everyone in disbelief of how it happened,
Asking the same questions we did in school,
And what good is that,
To care when it is over,
When you could not even open your eyes
- To what happening right in front of you

-JJ
04/05/25

I am 15 years old-
-15-
The nightmare turning
To reality

How much longer can I do this,
Somethings wrong with me.
Alone in this world,
No can save me

I am not depressed,
Nor suffering greatly,
But I am 15,
With the world on my shoulders

My emotions push me up and down,
Round and round,
Spun-
with no way out

Is anyone there?-
-Watching this world,
The horror the tragedies,
That could never be told

Shaking in my bed,
Uncontrollable tears,
I cannot think straight,
My mind full of fears

How can I do so much,
At the age of 15,
Pick out my life,
When its bearly begun

Supposed to be doing so much,
Yet I am unable to even get up,
Please let me escape from these exams,
Nearing closer and closer

They creep up on me,
But I’m only 15?
Wish to run away,
Into the jungle

With the birds and the trees,
Free from this torture.
This is not who I am meant to be-
Please I am only 15.

I cannot be the only one,
Who knows I don’t belong,
Away from the ugly bricks,
Crushing down on my soul

I wish to be free,
But I am only 15,
Trapped in this circus,
With only blinded screams

01/03/35
-JJ

The feeling
The worst one,
Oh how it feels- Never ending
When there is nothing-
-In the world-
To seize the pain your feeling,
wonder far, wonder wide
Try to grasp and reach,
To distract you from this pain,
Feeling empty, feeling numb-
left undistracted for too long

Wish to drift into endless bliss,
Mindless entertainment-
To quiet the buzzing mind,
How no one could survive it.
What a jumbling maze,
With no words to describe,
And in this moment nothing could satisfy-
-   My dear, confusing mind

-JJ
22/02/25

I was home,
The feeling that suddenly hit my heart-
Spreading through my body,
The sense of comfort and belonging-
Hugged my body gently,
It’s Raw and natural beauty-
“Simple”- but not to me,
It was so intricately painted-
Every tree,
every brushstroke: making the mountains
every uniquely mixed color,
Came together in harmony.
The familiar, spiractic, sharp but soft-
Trees cut through the sky,
As if they were waving,
Revealing their pattern as the sun shone through,
And in the distance-
They looked like golden bushes,
Caught in the suns light.
The beautiful white and orange houses poked through the dark green trees,
Like a used and messy paint pallet,
That was somehow still so pretty,
As if the beauty could not continue-
Yet the pink and purple clouds appeared,
Like kind giants,
Slowly drifting through the light blue sky

I always thought it was strange-
Hearing about people falling in love with countries or cities,
But now I understood.

I knew then-
And every time I was reminded,
This was my place,
The country I fell in love with
I had to come back one day,
But that time- I would never leave,

And in that moment,
All my worries were at a halt,
And only happiness remained

-JJ
08/04/25

I feel the life drain away,
Over and over,
Day by day

I couldn’t move,
Dragged and crushed,
Weighed down by the settling dust

Maybe Sleep could save me,
Yet it teased me,
Like a mouse on a string

trapped in a circus,
Going round and round,
oh, please just let me out

My world slows,
The led blanket pushing down,
Taking control, keeping me bound

-JJ

I don’t think anyone knows what music truly means to me,
Or could relate to how it make me feel-
For it is indescribable-
Simplicity or Wild Intensity
The way every song makes me feel something different-
English words for emotions could not comprehend,
So maybe that’s why I love music so much,
Not just because of it’s obvious entertainment and joy,
But because it can showcase everyone of my deep, delicate feelings-
In a world in which no one truly understands me

-JJ
18/04/25

no one understands,
They listen
But don’t hear,

Trapped in a box,
Screaming,
For all to see

Yet they walk past,
Silently Screaming,
Hoping for someone to hear

I fear I will always be
-so alone
no matter whos next to me

Just another voice,
To push past,
discarded

Don’t they notice,
care?
For my mind is alone

Never ending exsaustion,
Day past day,
In the shadows

No one understands,
No one cares,
Not really

But I care,
my heart belongs to them,
My worries too

Yet they don’t glance twice,
-At my decaying body

-JJ
22/03/25