The feeling
The worst one,
Oh how it feels- Never ending
When there is nothing-
-In the world-
To seize the pain your feeling,
wonder far, wonder wide
Try to grasp and reach,
To distract you from this pain,
Feeling empty, feeling numb-
left undistracted for too long

Wish to drift into endless bliss,
Mindless entertainment-
To quiet the buzzing mind,
How no one could survive it.
What a jumbling maze,
With no words to describe,
And in this moment nothing could satisfy-
-   My dear, confusing mind

-JJ
22/02/25

I was home,
The feeling that suddenly hit my heart-
Spreading through my body,
The sense of comfort and belonging-
Hugged my body gently,
It’s Raw and natural beauty-
“Simple”- but not to me,
It was so intricately painted-
Every tree,
every brushstroke: making the mountains
every uniquely mixed color,
Came together in harmony.
The familiar, spiractic, sharp but soft-
Trees cut through the sky,
As if they were waving,
Revealing their pattern as the sun shone through,
And in the distance-
They looked like golden bushes,
Caught in the suns light.
The beautiful white and orange houses poked through the dark green trees,
Like a used and messy paint pallet,
That was somehow still so pretty,
As if the beauty could not continue-
Yet the pink and purple clouds appeared,
Like kind giants,
Slowly drifting through the light blue sky

I always thought it was strange-
Hearing about people falling in love with countries or cities,
But now I understood.

I knew then-
And every time I was reminded,
This was my place,
The country I fell in love with
I had to come back one day,
But that time- I would never leave,

And in that moment,
All my worries were at a halt,
And only happiness remained

-JJ
08/04/25

I wish I was free
A spirit,
A soul,
In which to glide-
Like a gust of wind,
through the world,
Of my own pace-
Of my own feelings-
my own choice-
My rights-
My - freedom

To experience life,
Like its supposed to be,
Not trapped by dependency,
And confined to flesh,
Moving so slowly -
Living for others,
Instead of myself

To do as I wish,
Fly with the birds ,
Explore other lives,
Among the pink and orange of the sky

Of which a life I can only dream,
Full of happiness,
-Serenity,
In my dreams I will come to you,
So don’t forget me,
My place of comfort,
Forever held in my mind

-JJ
01/03/25

Unexplainable,
The way it makes you feel,
What it does to you,
Filling you with ecstasy,  
Or with despair,
But in reassurance of your feelings,
Always there,
No matter when or why,
Lifting you,
Moving-
With its endless possibilities,
In the sea of symphonies,

Untouchable-
The lyrics,
Perfectly placed,
Making my body move,
In coordination with my soul,
How can they sit still?
Don’t they feel it?
Being levitated

The instruments,
Becoming intwined with my heart,
Taking over my body,
My worries - that plagued me,
But in that moment -
They were never there,
And I am saved,
In total bliss - Heaven -
For it will always be favorite poem

-JJ
17/03/25

I feel the life drain away,
Over and over,
Day by day

I couldn’t move,
Dragged and crushed,
Weighed down by the settling dust

Maybe Sleep could save me,
Yet it teased me,
Like a mouse on a string

trapped in a circus,
Going round and round,
oh, please just let me out

My world slows,
The led blanket pushing down,
Taking control, keeping me bound

-JJ

Gushing forwards,
only to slide and slip past,
Rolling over and over like mountains,
Sometimes she was so calm and peaceful,
Seconds later so angry and harsh,
As if trying to move the tired monuments that stood there,
Making her look weak,
and her efforts futile,
Yet not so far away she slides easily up,
The ashes and remains of what were tough and solid boulders.

-JJ
22/12/23

The beauty of nature,
The grass rattling in the spring wind,
The intertwining branches,
The carpet of daffodils,
Their yellow faces smiling in the sun,
Birds tweeting with excitement,
Singing their song,

A jay blessed us with its presence,
The brown hiding the sliver of blue,
The pairs of chatterbox geese,
Always together

People cluster in awe of the
Monet of opening magnolias,
The new pink and yellow,
With the old green and brown,
Yet all in symphony,
An orchestra of color -
Beginning to unfold

-JJ
16/03/25

The Secret Suffering of the soul,
Familiar,
yet so unfamiliar,
Thoughts to far-
From those hurting hearts

so inferior,
to their horrors,
-Stuck-
-Stuck-
in my bedroom

the blind world.
choose to close your eyes.
but, when you turn your heads,
The blood still sheads
Won’t they learn?

How do they do it?
Live in this world,
where right and wrong cannot be told

-JJ
Jan 2025

I am 15 years old-
-15-
The nightmare turning
To reality

How much longer can I do this,
Somethings wrong with me.
Alone in this world,
No can save me

I am not depressed,
Nor suffering greatly,
But I am 15,
With the world on my shoulders

My emotions push me up and down,
Round and round,
Spun-
with no way out

Is anyone there?-
-Watching this world,
The horror the tragedies,
That could never be told

Shaking in my bed,
Uncontrollable tears,
I cannot think straight,
My mind full of fears

How can I do so much,
At the age of 15,
Pick out my life,
When its bearly begun

Supposed to be doing so much,
Yet I am unable to even get up,
Please let me escape from these exams,
Nearing closer and closer

They creep up on me,
But I’m only 15?
Wish to run away,
Into the jungle

With the birds and the trees,
Free from this torture.
This is not who I am meant to be-
Please I am only 15.

I cannot be the only one,
Who knows I don’t belong,
Away from the ugly bricks,
Crushing down on my soul

I wish to be free,
But I am only 15,
Trapped in this circus,
With only blinded screams

01/03/35
-JJ

02/01/25
The new moon looking down,
Peacefully and motherly,
Observing,
unaware of her beauty,
With her loyal bright subject shining nearby,
The weak lights below twinkling with envy trying to compete,  
The painted sunset peaking through the dark skeletons of the trees,
Framing her and completing the picture,
The ugly cars and buildings trying to hide the warm orange light beneath her,
But they could never win.
Eventually the thick lace of clouds slowly swallow up the orange,
turning yellow,
Then teal,
Finally resting at blue,
Putting the sun to sleep,
Although it is too beautiful for us to witness,
Leaving the moon to watch over.

- JJ