Sometimes loneliness wraps me like a cloak
drapes me and protects me
yet blocks the light from coming in
and I wish so much to untie it
release it to the wind
let it fall from my body
but it sticks
And I cry
Oh I cry
My tears upon its fabric
staining its silken black
but
this black is lined with the red of fire
and this red is my inner flame
a flame that never goes out
whether in spirals of joy
        or the jagged sharp lines of pain
and I know that no matter how much
it hurts me
to feel so deeply
this burning lust for life
will never wane

She comes alive
At night,
Huge cracks in the earth
Becoming fissures
Letting off steam
The rumbling
Getting louder
As she begins to explode
From the deepest
Inner core
Out into space dust
Liquid fire
Splashing through
Licking the surface
Forging precious stones
And minerals
Scorching poison plants
And deadly insects
In its wake
Enough!
She cries
Lifting her fist
To the blackened
Skies
And here it comes
Into the black
The Northern Lights
Are out again
Blinding incandescence
Blazing through the canopy
Of stars and nebulas
Of supernovas
She has become
Her own stellar explosion

As the cosmos
Flies through
Her fingers
Hair streaming,
She throws back her head
***** in the air
Breathes the coolness
Of celestial magic
Into her cells
The call of life force
Clanging inside her,
The sound of galactic bells

The entire Milky Way
Seems to flow
in her bones
her blood stream is already
pulsing at the speed of light
comets speed up in her mind
as she dreams
of new possibilities
Her heart is a bolide
that is on its way
to explode

After so many years
Of just being
****** into someone else's
Vortex
So many years
just wanting to survive
That's it,
Say the stars..
Sweet Woman.
Pay heed.
It's your time to be
Alive
Sept 30 2015

You are in my heart -
You reside
between the beats
sometimes I must
catch you
so I may simply breathe
I get palpitations
with adrenaline rushing
When you play
My heartstrings
My cheeks start blushing
The music you play
Inside my soul
Reverberates
And moves me
Down to my toes
I dance, I swoon
My feet turn to jelly
Hot burning waves
Sear deep in my belly
Oh this is crazy
But that's just fine
Play me and strum me
Until I make you mine
I will be your instrument
You will be my notes
Just beat the drum
until my heart floats
under the moon's glow
we sing out our joy
and the music flows
without inhibition
inside my being
And I am filled with wonder
At the power of my feelings
So keep beating on, heart
(Because I know you
Are there)
Let our tongues whisper music
Into the night air

And I
am woman
of woman
of woman
Those who Love me
receive the prize
that soft, lush
succulence
between my
velvet thighs
Those who cherish me
receive the
finest cream
once it's on your tongue
you'll be spinning in
a dream
Those who unwrap
my heart
like a gift,
a libation
Will feel me
give my all
at the highest
vibration
Those who dig
With tenderness
to reveal
the secret root…
their reward will be vast
as my love
bears its fruit

If I could
pinpoint the
exact moment
your breath
touched mine
washed me over
in ocean waves
sea creatures glowing
in delightful recognition
as the seedlings
of connection
shimmied into our being
and, dancing within me
in its own lifeforce
your mind a living,
breathing animal
your heart, purring
and whirring its sacred forces
into my molecular structures
your soul throbbing
in mitochondric pulsing
(oh what
a delicious vibration
of ribosomes)
Between us, we hold
the true treasures
close, in frothy
                       tenderness
a purity of the expanse
of our universe,
swathed in prismatic color
colors that shift,
these fresh hues
for which there are no name
they are lucid and fine-woven
as silk histories
yet deep as earthcore
your eyes, voice
are forever burned
into my own
every day scriptures
that rock my shattered parts
into wholeness
and,
like ancient magic,
I conjure forth
the holy gospel
rising from our bones
every second of
every minute
as our deepest fires
our most secret filth
our murky corners
our darkest hours
we weave into light
brilliant and lustrous
multi-layered in the richest
folds of the earth
and as you place me
upon the shores
of your garland-graced
                              throne
Now I'm alive in a new
kind of light
and
all I can do
is love
        and love
and love

"Help!" she screamed.
"I'm on fire!"
But the blaze was from within
ignited by passion's light
on the way to heavenly sin
Hair a-glow
Eyes sparkling
each chakra lit up
in color
resembling the flash
of neon lights'
reflections upon each other
but this illumination
was much deeper and bright
this kindling of spirit
a vivification  set a-light
a mindfire tuned to rivet
Yes she is waking up
after years of deepest slumber
she is finally releasing to the winds
old dreams,
tattered
ripped a-sunder
They flapped on the laundry line
were torn in pieces by the storms
So is it not surprising
That now she is re-born?
Is it not to be expected
That she weaves a brand new
song
made from her inner fabric
and soon it won’t be long
that those fine-spun silks
start twirling up
dancing in the air
as her fire keeps on burning
and passion rides
her flare





"

I see it in
         shades of
liquid coal
  slaking
    my aching
           thirst in
black ocean shoal
      onyx crystals
             washed up
            in tides
       of barely
    peeking,
night-lava eyes
     silently spoken
                   and through
     the waters of deep
my soul is
    waking up from
          eons of sleep
              weaving garlands
             of darkest green,
            seaweed tips
that I tenderly keep
       strewn, in chlorophyll strips  
                      across the stardust glow
                                       of my naked skin
                                     as I liquid float,
                       spirit whirring within
                              eyes bright
                in illuminated
          moonstone glow
picking up signals
of halted flow
This is needed here,
in this darkest of dark
waters abundant
with tight, broken sparks
shards of the living
and fragments of souls
                  a luminosity of darkness
                  making us whole
      And pulsing next to me
   in beauty's surprise
phosphorescent creatures,
     a feast for the eyes
           loving, gently brushing
                my outstretched fingers-
                     bioluminescence divine
                         on my body lingers
                   from jellies to squid
                to jet -hued sharks
    knifing through layers          
     of dark on dark
         within the
lush waters' quiet force
a dance in faded flicker
conjures the source
                 within the depth
                         of the depths
                            of my endlessly
                            wet
          in my darkest of dark
between blood and sweat
penetrating the mysteries
   that quake through
          this heart
         filling it up
  as it tears it apart
         smashing it
    to smithereens
   creating sutures
   of ironic healing
until through the cracks
both wide and slight
        shoots up
the flare
of my own
    inner
          light

applying his
              lingual buds
   to the smooth
lush of her
thighs she rippled
         as a lava lake,
          no stone skipped            
                          just
melting milk, lapped up
in hungry pulses
cream of silk
   pounding thunder
        in consonants of
             taut skin drum
                nuances in vowels
         uttered in
animal dissonance
his bristled breath
all over her
              fingers
salivary intentions
over rim of lip
feeding the emptiness,
a holy vessel
more ancient than
        before time
              now ready
              to be filled by the
           essence of feminine
pineapple juice drizzling
firebud glistening
in fuchsia exposure
open gateway
      to divine outpour
a sacrificial altar
of unmasked psyche
completely stripped of
                     any pellicle
his palms firmly
planted in hot muscle
thumbs parting
            glory's hole
deer at the saltlick
lost in the velvet
just pour it in
thick molasses
not stifling,
only honeyed bark
multi-hued like
      eucalyptus deglupta
in buttery tips
dripping love,
all over her lips
and just like that, in
slick-painted dabs
of their own
acrylic-drip art
just like that
in the wild
            and thick
explodes the ache
of her
ripped
         apart
   heart

I have been swimming in this
hot, bitter ocean
for way too long
And now it is time
for me to taste a new kind of salt
                         one not of tears
but one of unlocked secrets
from deep within the earth
mineral projections
of rooted reflections
             myriad rhythms
that cause us to dance
and weave in primal wildness
beneath the stars
as fires of night gleam gently
and the magic of unspoken words
lies moist upon our tongues.
Now, let the fiesta
of new tastes
begin
from the lips
and work its way down
Let there be a a celebration
of new thoughts
and electrified delights
to awaken the senses
and ignite the mind
as the textures of ancient runes
grace our skin
Let the discoveries
of hidden wisdoms
come to the fore,
wild roots that pour out
             from the voices of within
Slowly, I rise from that saliferous
liquid, taking in the new flavors….
                not only the sweet –
although that is
for your loving eyes
                   not only the pungent-
which rings of the deeper layers unseen
but also the bitter
as a reminder of the days
when I tasted my tears,
not realizing that
even salt has the
velvet sweetness
of victory

I have never
taken hard drugs
but I imagine
that my addiction to you
is similar to *******
or crystal ****
for that angel dust
has covered me
like the most delicate of snows
rock hard ice that penetrates
just beneath my skin
Yes, you have taken
me for a sleigh ride
that white dust all over
I try to shake it off my heart
but it sticks like that first
gentle sugary snowfall
sparkling and so pure.
I could fall right into its depth
and start making snow
angels, moving my legs and arms,
up and down
back and forth
oh what a searing cold
between gloves and sleeves
freeze-burning my wrists
yet I would keep going
just to see the imprint
afterwards that,
like a faded shadow lost
in time and space,
looks like a remnant
of our
love

April 16, 2017
Dear You:
         When I think of you, there is this gap of space unexplained. Almost like when you have to stand up during a spiritual chant or sacred ceremony. Or when you look up at the sky and realize how very small we actually are in this Universe of the Divine. When you see how the half full moon cups so beautifully in tangerine glow across your section of sky, and how the clarity of stars imprint the constellations of the human heart.

    I guess what I am actually saying is, you are so much more to me than a female *** *****. You are the sacred. The down and *****. As earthy and tangible as it gets. The source of rolling waves to exquisite pleasure. A pivotal and unique part of my feminine self in the form of the mystical, the beatific, the mysterious.The portal for the source of Life itself.

But let us start at the beginning.

I remember you, at the tender age of 5. Exploring the mysteries of my own body, under the covers where no one could see. At about age 8 or 9 I worked you over so well that a small explosion ensued, and I was utterly  stunned, thinking that perhaps I had done something wrong?
I dared not ask
a  soul.

Only later (but not much later..when the red flow started) did I read about the subject "Our Bodies, Ourselves" and later "Changing Bodies, Changing Lives". (Thank you, more open-minded stepmom :))

As a teen, I was lucky enough to have amazingly progressive ***-ed at my NYC school. AIDS was rampant and our ***-ed teacher, an ex-priest, had us rolling condoms down bananas in no time. How we laughed and turned the color of beets. And watching "The Miracle of Life" was pretty amazing.

By then I had a very good relationship with you, Little Miss V. I stroked and coaxed you out of your shell any opportunity I could. My cherry was intact, but popping and bubbling over was fantastic.

You are connected to the trials and tribulations, as well as the highs and lows, of first love and love in general, as I discovered in time. I was exposed to the vulnerable, the tender, the painful. I realized that your intense physicality was indelibly connected to my emotional source, veins mapped and held together my strings of blood and discharge. Somewhere, I needed to protect you, and myself, to know when to give freely and when to hold back.

You were the gateway to motherhood, to the slippery sliding exit from the womb of my prodigy. The intense pain and wonder of it all. The place where it all began, the result being three gorgeous and sassy love bugs. "What, Mommy? I came out of there?"

You are now the woman goddess source of me more than ever, and despite the powerful pain and ****** rivers each month, I am thankful. Thankful to be a woman, to be alive, for the inter-woven magic of the ecstasy and ardency of emotion. So much better to feel it all.

My womb with a view.
My moon's tides, ebbs and flows.
My candied oyster, succulent shellfish.
My pretty little cat.
My aching, drooling, dripping swamp of longing and loneliness.
My jewel of enigmatic darkness.
I will never take the words "****" and "*****" negatively, and can turn it right around on those attempting to do so.

For you hold the links to my heart, to my soul. You are my little nesting fuzzy creature, worthy of kisses and appreciation. You are my internal bomb ticking and ready to blow, my slick, hot bud poised to flower.

And, oh, how you flower.

k, Little Miss, V…Ciao for now.
Love, ***, the woman-goddess-love –light source you own

The river in me
                     exists.  
Its outflow of pour
drenches the gullies
makes moist
the sand that
graces your toes
I flow into your roots
strengthen your
                   capillaries
pump liquid gold
inside your veins
loving your flaws like
kintsukuroi
you piece me together
adorn my cracks
with powdered metals,
still loving them for
being broken
a longing
              quenched
I want you dripping
down my chin,
my thighs
when you rush through
me just like that,
the soothing aqua tempest
I have always
wished for

I am an
emotional
      archeologist
digging d
                 e
                        e
                                p
into the contours
of the heart
trying to discern
what spots
need tender healing,
how to treat and
soothe its
fissured parts
I am a soul-mind
                   excavator
discerning
temperature and hue
measuring the depths
of textures
as we get down
to the root
We work hard,
my team and I
mapping earthen layers
we use the implements
                     of wisdom
to try and heal
this pain acute
and as we gently
cut through the strata
of history, of scars
I know that this
         explorer's work
is worth it
for we will reach up
to the stars
So we continue on
in patience,
into the
blazing core
      like truth-warriors
like healers
      unlocking secret
ancient treasures
that will rise up
to the
fore

Under this canopy
of dark
gleaming stars
I now sit
allow my body
to take residence
in the aura
of my own
glowing
      let thoughts
             of reason
         slowly unravel
until they
become
one
     long
           thread
connecting my
mind but
releasing it
to the air
Molecules, like
the tiniest of crystals,
gently whir
energetically
             about me
in almost
invisible stirrings
letting the power
of energy centers
take over:
Red,
    for my root
            for I am
               tethered
          to this earth
       Orange, for
the passion
so strong
                and truly knowing
         my own worth
Yellow, for
            my gut,
                instincts open
              and a-light
       expanding into
universes, broadening
my sight
Then my heart
washed through and through
in shades of green
its own incandescence
filled with verdant,
                     fiery sheens
It beats a lantern
of vitality
in this ocean of pain
sending a beacon in
the darkness
helping to break old,
patterns
prompt them to
         snap like rusty chains
Here it pumps in growth of
leafy, budding  light
Guiding my spirit
      in ripeness full and bright

I rise up
into the
indigo-turquoise
of my throat
as words burst forth
                        in surges,
in the salty froth
of ocean spirals
             they float,
get pulled by
mysterious urges
Like waterfall mist
just kissing
the tips of eyelash
                 flickers
these words that
have the power
                 to calm
or make my blood
                 run quicker
And then:
the deep purple
of my crown
that tapers into
a shimmering white
          and I know
I can now
receive myself,
calm, in queenly
presence of mind
of spirit
in my highest
                  form of
                             light

I am ready
for every single cell
to be lit up
like a torch
flaming up to
the constellations,
all past debris
to be scorched
I am ready
to spread fingers drifting
to the finer points
of the sky
to hold up
the firmament
of my own existance
without needing
to question why
I am ready
to dance on water
toes on surface
splashing
I am ready to
travel deeper, further
without fear
of my heart
crashing
I am ready
to take on
the the indigo fire
of truth
I am ready to feel
my full ripeness
inside me
blushing youth
The juice of the fruit
is just at the edge
ready to burst and to pour
in tiny dewy droplets
bespeaking the promise
of more
I am ready to turn on the switch
and let the light show begin
my auroral inner cosmos
erupting
       from within

I  wish
to have
a love
not swathed
over futile lines
of white washed
paper flowers
that creep up
upon the trellis
as I stand
in frozen
princess-like
stance
but wild horses
ready to break
down the door
as they burst in
to capture me
their perfect
imperfections
matching mine
as we dance the dance
of intimate waves

I am ready
To be shaken
in the wind
my heart a-stir
yet gently grounded
as leaves fall
to the ground
I want the magic
of the small things
to light me up
even during times
of routine
Yes the stars are vast
And we will be under them
As we gaze beyond time
Yet also
create our
special brand of wonder
within the tiny ways
of the day to day

Within me
there are folds among folds
twisted  paths
like veins mixed
with telephone wires
some newer some old
Communication is getting dusky
then clear
I am sitting in that chair
connecting phone lines
my headphones on
communicating with
celestial bodies
The ones welling up
in my brain
They are calling to my heart
telling it to
Rise up
over the earth
take flight
lifting its frequencies
Yes a connection had been made
Yes the line between
earth and sky
fixed from being
frayed
a spectral kind of
telepathy
lets loose within me
and soon my fingers
get all tangled up
It is no longer important
which wire goes where
because we are all connected
as silver threads
among stars
and my love bursts forth
as mystic and pure
as fireflies
from a glowing
beaming
jar

It's hard to know
where to go
from here
empty pages
            in my book
unwritten before me
and the vastness of ocean
washes over this desert
blurring the lines
between the
wounds inside
and perceptions
               of reality
I am stuck
in this foreign place,
a fine-chiseled limbo
etched upon
           my face
My past strong
behind me
pushing my limits
to the hilt
fingers brushing
new firmaments
                of grace
spilling silver
              from silt

I am ready
to see the future
burst forth and unfold
ready for my
raw elements
to be spun wildly into gold
these invisible wings
after years of
being wound in
            tight, rigid curl
are stretching out slowly
being coaxed to unfurl
And here I stand
my feet sturdy as roots
as the sands of time
bud tender shoots
my eyes locked to the stars
fixed in sanguine dream
no need to staunch
the flow
           of liquid
that freely streams
It pours out
from my eyes,
this river of salt
because growing pains
        sting --
it's nobody's fault
Yet it's
tearing me up
into coarse,
ragged strips
descending
upon me
with scratches and rips
and for every burn
branded into my flesh
new insights
are woven
from putrid
               to fresh
For every laceration
I bear upon this heart
there is a gleam in the garden
as seeds germinate
               their start

And as my soul opens out
      expands in deep
           vital glow
            I am as
             a child
who still needs to grow
Her moonlit eyes
set on
          unknown realms
her pillars fallen,
senses overwhelmed
vulnerably jaded,
yet unafraid
because stars  
sometimes
burst into
novas
creating
new
      light
             from
         shade

Gently, she goes
as soft as a fawn
opens the window
and waits for the dawn
fireflies glow
wind caresses her face
as she sheds all the shadows
not leaving a trace
She dons velvet darkness
wrapped in its cloak
releases all poisons,
                 sylphlike,
             in smoke
She is preparing for battle
in her own, quiet way
She only wants wholeness
as she breaks through the gray
For soon she will weave
prismatic wonders of spells
her own inner aurora
lighting heaven from hell
For suffered she has
and it's time to forgive
unlock self-made prisons
and let herself live
and now as sunrise approaches
stars still in sight
she turns the skeleton key
and glides
into
             flight

My heart
raises itself
to libation
Yes, in the night air
I offer myself
to the ones above
An offering of my being
to my soul
from my soul
a communication
so pure, so bright
that I cannot see
for the luminance
Instead, inner vision
guides me
through shaded density
     Once, I could not see through
this dark overgrowth
twisted vegetation thick
tight vines wove their way
up and around my ribcage
and took over my heart
suffocating the spirals
my breath ragged
Now the floodgates have opened
My inner garden beckons to me
      calling for tender care
I am open to the newness
of color of flora as yet undiscovered
exotic realms of fluidity
colors unnamed
for they do not yet exist
They wait for me to
              tap into their beauty
as I await the rainbow
after the storm
in splashes of vibrational joy
I sling my quiver into place
tie on the boots of resolution
No food is needed…the nourishment
shall seed from within
Twirling paths before me
will no longer draw me into
whirlpools of smothering
because I am ready to take it on
heated clamor, tornado chaos
monsoon frenzy

I enter the beige sands of time
the cracks and dry patches
slowly filling up with blessed waters
Filling me up with the beauty of
                             a new sparkling
As inner knowledge
thrusts up and out
ripping through old skin
creating new
revealing inner treasures
rough jewels
I  don my
soft armor,
calling upon the stars
Their trajectory illuminates my way
through the dark
for this is only the beginning
and I am ready
            to ride
               the light

Beneath the
burning snowflakes
of my consciousness
I stand
ensconced in ice
a statue in
your garden
all the verdant,
living treasures
I have given
around you,
burst from
my womb
in volcanic fibers
molten lava
of puce
of ochre-toned
vibrancy
that pierces
through the strata
of our own
personal history
archeological insights
of who we have been
love in frequencies
that once
met their destination
echoes of fire
falling in viscous
bands of liquid
upon my outspread fingers,
uncaught
You
once loved me in parts
  My snowflowers
will stay with us
but I will not
the tenth
of me that you see
is already disappearing
worn down
from your stance
of constant dark
not the dark of richly
pungent mineral layers
of blackest black
but lackluster
in taste and texture
no match
for my warrioress heart
For deep inside
this clear glass casing
are rivulets
flash floods
about to break
the gelid frost surface
bursting through
in cracks
like end-of-winter
river rushes
like seismic explosions
sulphur-rocked
My wild totem
is emerging
antlers glowing from
my crown
They are clashing
rustling up trees
whipping winds of magic
that tumult
right past the
icicles of your posture
And the last gift
I will ever
give to you
are the shards
that have already
melted from my
own estric heat
and, even then,
you will be too numb
to understand

and now, comes
       in resonated whisper
*my soul is out the door

Finally!
This witch can
leave the cauldron…
for she is
no longer
under your spell..
it doesn’t even matter
whether you,
a warlock of words,
somehow know
or can tell
She is free
of darkened spells casted
that get blood flowing
Free from runes
and poetic vibes
sent unknowing
Free
of the clutter
of secrecy
and magic potions
Free
To fly in widened,
expansive motions
As if on some sacred
timeless dance floor
Arms arisen
she swings her hips
as sensual verse
flows from her lips

Her emotions are wild, now
With liberation given
A loving gift
she has given herself
So raise the glass
For she has found herself again
Time for celebration…
So let's commence
the festival
of true
emancipation

My safe place
is not so safe
anymore.

Tinged with
wisps of passion,
second-hand smoke.
Forbidden memories
curl around
my heart.

The keyboard
looks up at me,
in pregnant
silence.

It knows.
It has the power
to unlock
earthly secrets.

It sits
like an archeologist
on a mission,
ready to unearth
old texts
private messages
never meant to be
seen by others

I stare at it.
My heart is there.
Those texts
and the white space
in between

I want my space back.
For it is mine, only mine
way before I let you
push in
My place
to dream
to dance
to let imagination
fly.
After all….
this is how
you arrived


So now, I summon
myself
And in one
simple act,
I take it back.
Just like that.

I release you
back into cyberspace,
from whence you came.
My lessons
have been learned.
I now say
No to pain.

Keyboard,
welcome back.
I crown you
Guardian of
my Safe Place.
My music,
my poetry.
Where imagination
runs wild,
My inner sanctum
of peace.
This has always been
and will always be
my landscape
of
release.

Inside the darkest garden
in this castle of
roots and knots
                  with ancient shadows
                      that come out to dance
                         in consistent moonlit thoughts
where my body starts
                     to swirl and sway
                     my spirit stirring free
inside the bones of
                underground caverns
where I have found
the once –buried remnants
           of me
Here.      
Antiquated magic
            is rediscovered              
next to dark-aged
weapons of layered rust
in the ghosts of the tears
of the collapsing fears
           that quaked the bridges of trust
where the unlikely
traces of self-love
never did really die
and despair in its
quiet torrents
prepares to release and fly
        
Here.          
I embrace the night
               in its fullness,
drink it up
          like temple wine
accepting all the dark within me
letting its light fill me
in vibrations,
              divine
In most scintillating strength,
my inner swords enhanced
in sharpness,
                in potent length
before my armies
                       advance

Here,              
in wild mossy corners
the blackest of berries grow
round and perfect, on
the edge
                     of bursting
revealed only to those who know
that clandestine language
of echoes of loneliness
that wander breathlessly
                           and roam
clutching their essence
                           to hold it safe
over the soil and loam
Now minerals sparkle in the
                       rich, dark earth
atoms of crystal
and stone

Here.
In this darkest
oasis of seeming nothingness
glows a
      single tree
bearing the juiciest
        of fruits
    now dripping
  just for me
and as my hunger
pours up
from the roots
propelling me in sacred trance
I find myself
gazing up in wonder
letting down
          my warrior stance

I slowly take off my armor
freeing up the fullness
of *******, of thighs, of hips
to allow that emotional
         fruit liquid
to nourish me from
core to fingertips
and to catch that ripeness
     about to spill
goddess voices calling
"Yes, woman. Now"
I, with reverence
     with honor
take on that sacred vow
tip back my head
let the quartz-snapped
air into my lungs
let that liquid
slake my ache
and,
in moaning silence
grace my
     tongue

You have me
           between
a polished rock
     and a hard place
like up against
the fridge
         or perhaps the wall
and if these swamplands
get any damper
I might
have to change
         the protocol
The humidity is rising
hot and wet, today, they say
it's best to proceed carefully
lest the steam fogs
up the way
Soon these swamps
will give way to jungle
for the heat is just too deep
I'm trying to fight it off
roasting slowly in my sleep
The calefaction is just too much
it drives me to distraction
like a fire in the brush
igniting lust for satisfaction
As for me
             I'm going swimming
in the nearest
lake or creek
my skin is
already dripping
so bring your love
                  to fix the leak

This rainforest of longing
    could break me at the seams
but when you show me your bare essence
the butter turns to cream
Oh ****
I am so between that hard place
and the rock we talked about
It's making me quite crazy
But let there be no doubt:
I need this tender conflagration            
even if my head
          stays in a spin
This frenzied circle
will go on and on
until the first blush
of skin
       on skin

I am in limbo
      between universes
between stars
I am ensconced
       in my own light
in tangible luminance
stored deep inside
                   tiny
                      glass jars
I am whirling into new orbit
     as I take on this luster,
                 this shine
I furl forth choices
in magic spells weaving
                   and take back        
what was always
so rightfully mine
I now hold the staff
      that will part the seas
of my new way
       in this labor
because, honey, there
ain't no time
to waste
no horse
        no glowing, knighted savior
Until this hour
              I was crawling
         but I now I start to rise
as I have my final say
               and the northern lights
         spew out from behind my eyes
I am through with
          this land of ice, land of jagged spires
It is time to bust up
             all those submissive plans
          and spray the whole
place with arctic fire
yeah time to mark it
juice it up
till it licks up pain, till it burns
release pent up years
              of unneeded conflict,
of tensed up
           twists and turns
so just you try
to break me apart
as I try to navigate
between tectonic plates
on two lands
The only knight here
          is my own true self
the situation neatly
in my
     hot little hands

slipping past my bones
deeply over the rim

nightfall liquid rushing
through the crown
of my head
eyes wide, a-glow
            with new vision

Yes. I will meet you there
in subconscious phosphorescence
pools of knowledge
forming between
the feather weight
of our lashes

wait for me
for I am floating
stellar-dipped arms
outstretched,
feeling the particles
the soft space between our
eyes, aligned

Come
let us receive each other
in astral ease
a rocking delight
of non-physical
until we can one day

touch

what is this
the sound of a voice
a faint crackle
over the line
burning icicle dipped
into ink of my dark
zipped in a fracture
           through space
woven in time
the sound of it
           penetrates
a heated
         arctic zing
of light
into the soul
and your words
caress places that
would not be reached
in life's daily hold

I would look into your eyes
my blues to yours
two vast oceans
never ending
This might express
the divinity
of the word "love"
This might express
a fraction of the feeling
                and this alone
could be all consuming
but the real expression
would be my mouth
devouring yours
      my tongue
exploring your lips
and all that's inside
my starlight
infusing your being
as we press into
the silken matter
as the levity of skin
that brushes like silk
as your actual saliva
and ***
are my nourishment,
like heaven's milk
and our cells
ignite in slow movement
as we gasp and sigh
the air around us
invisible velvet
I want beyond
internet
I want beyond
a small, mirrored screen
I need to drink your luster
as we inhale the soft, molten folds
as we break open
and drink deep
inner liquids
as we crack
and the flow of the
      electric river
slides
    through
and within,
intermingling
auras tingling

Just take me,
      already
let me feel the imprint
of your fingers
upon my wrists
let your kisses mark
my secret spaces
Rush into me
as a river
before we
  simultaneously
         combust
for if I have to hear your
vocal chords
one more time
I will
    explode
into
     fragments
of
     crystallized
                  dust

And I release you
To the winds
From whence you came
I wish you
A good life
Free from pain
I hope and pray
That you will
remember our love
because it was real…
a beautiful gift
from the stars above
My love for you
Still aches
In my heart…
For you have so cruelly
torn us apart
Together
we planted
a beautiful seed
Born of love, of want
Of lust, of need
Now I look
to the heavens above
and pray for healing,
for you have twisted
the knife in my soul
and my heart
is bleeding

If you are in love
And you must go out the door
I have some advice
That I have learned
From yore

Break your lady gently
for though she is made
from the strongest of glass
She can still shatter
Into shards
Upon the silken grass
And it will take ages
To find those thin, tiny slivers
To glue them together,
An almost impossible task
As your hands
Shake and shiver

Break your lady gently
But slice not too deep
For she is still yours,
Even if not to keep
She might rise up
Again
In your heart
And make it bloom
She will still
Calm your soul
And your every wound
And so, fair Lord,
Only if you
absolutely must
Break her down gently
But alas---
keep her trust

moving past the foliage
I smack back
the tangled brush
a strange truth revealed
my emotions in a rush
Here I am
in this hell-hatched bind
braced against the winds
grasping at shards
           of the Divine
for they're inside me,
all those pieces
jagged glass and soft meringue
my innards humming
shades of the blues
in offbeat notes of pain
and I know that deep within
between my earthly
beats of heart
resides a light that's
only mine
that slices through
this drape of dark

It's a heavy nightcloak breaking
as I reach out from
                     the abyss
praying for the comfort
of my soul's
bright morning
                kiss

sometimes the walls
peel down    
in tears and metal
as the floodgates
               open wide
as the soul is bared,
raw,
              exposed
softly humming
its release of pride
heartbeats strong
head up high
queenly stance
bearing storms
ready for the battle
taking form
yet holding on tight
to solace's reins
praying to heaven
for grace in the strain
for soon the cry
                  to action
will fall upon this
           tender land
all that exists
washed away in
        a whirlwind
of sand    
in the distance
a lightflare
a whipping up of womb
a time for victory's place
in this tempest monsoon
and within my skin
in the flight of
               my freeze  
my pain opens up
and allows
me
          to
               breathe

The sludge
of mud
       that creeps up
to my eyes
squelches me
down like quicksand
***** a large
breathing object
                         into
its grainy film
an antithesis
       of sea
lungs sputtering
out brain reeling
in remnants of
clusterfucked,
panic –driven
welting
and I am ready to
burst out
legs trapped
yet voice high
heart squealing
in the fire
bring me to
somewhere
it’s a situation
                    dire
this madness
cupping me through
time-realms
and I must find it
that liquid that
wet flow of writhing
struggling
breaking
            free
of those heavy bands
of slimy kelp
holding me
squirm me out
I don’t care
if I get the
muck of centuries
in my hair
for in my veins
my blood does see
I crave the sunlight's
strokes
and
        I
            must
breathe

dark storms rising
as electricity
crackles up my spine
in ascent of moonspell
as I trip through
            my own wires
                 my inner sense
                     of flesh
      reverberating  
in waves of
magnetic fireworks
      and suddenly
I am spinning
     my fibers
all splayed out                
for you to see
a cartographer
of emotion
mapping your veins
               and arteries
and we hold citizenship
of a private inner land
a country              
    that we share
as we into light expand
my inner goddess in tune
with your
molecules and carbon
your cells rushing like
                a river
into my estuary
in landscapes of longing
blissfully unaware
but for our souls'
secret language of
pumping blood and fire
from here, it's uncharted
but for the rhythms
                   of desire

invisible to the naked eye,
we exquisitely penetrate
the surface
descend into the
depths of bones
the most primal core
where lava licks
push spirit's will
            straight up to the fore
and I am the spark in
your most opaque rage
ready
to give it up
in dust and magic
as pulmonary exhale
flows the blood
and we dissipate , slowly
into uninhibited flood

Take me apart,
dark love
pulverize my limits
fly with me
to the opposite
of loneliness
where
    every
        millisecond
  breathes

I want to be wrapped in soft shades
      of shimmering blue
celestial greens
deep, dark violet hues
I want to be
       held firm and steadied
yet rocked by chisled grace
I want my inner light
     to flow right over,
beaming all over the place
I want to be strummed
until
the tunes reach ethereal notes
      crescendo or staccato
whatever makes time float
I want magic in my palms
       as I cup your gentle face
I want to get electric
inside your firm embrace
      I  want to feel *******
when your eyes are on my soul
I want to feel that tension
build up and juice my flow
Yes.
      I am ready for connection
ready for oceans to break down walls
No longer afraid of waiting
Bring it on!
     I want it all

What is this fire
Stirred up from within?
From deep inside
the embers of my soul
my heart is restless.

Here, with the children;
Motherly duties abound.
Take this bring that what is this
Can you help me?
Can I have…?
It is true:
My love for them holds
No bounds.
It is unlimited,
No matter what they need
Or demand

Yet
My soul, forever, wild,  
wanders through thickets
Of bush, my hair a-tangle
As I slip through
deserted forest
Through endless tundra
Moss tickling my toes
I do not even feel the cold.
I am in a swirling array
Of bright clean snow
Icy energy
That fills me up
Makes me glow….
Indeed, I have reached
The land of the seals and whales:
My own polar plateau.

Oh yes, my skin turns to ice
And my eyelashes frozen
Fingers numb
In  this deep freeze I have chosen.
I  lie, spread out
Upon the sheet of soft
White that surrounds me
A freezing sea that buoys me up
Like a babe in the womb
******* in the nourishment
of glacial waters
and gelid floes
the icicles forming around my toes.

And all the while,
inside me, the fire burns and burns
My heart upon a skewer,
turns and turns
I am simply ignited
By my own inner flame
One I cannot put out
Even if I wished
I am illuminated from within
Becoming cooked
inside my own skin…

Help me, great powers above
goddesses of fire and brimstone
Cool me
let the icy waters trickle down
to my deep
quivering spots
Let the smoke be gone
Let me dive into icy waters
And refresh my soul

For now,
I sit here, upon the sofa
Staring into space
House asleep.
My thoughts my own.
Incantations up and out
As my soul clamours and
Shouts.
It will be better
In the morning's
Glow.
I sleep
With incandescent
colors about my head
Like dreamy auroras
Surrounding my bed
My hands
Holding
My beating heart
Pumping
Flowing
Somehow whole
In all my parts.

Night comes
r
     o l l i
               n g
                 down again
in painted coats
of thick onyx
clouding my vision
as if a brightly-striped
cuttlefish,
                sister of squid
has enveloped me
in its
dark liquid
           sea ink
an opaque vapor
for protection,
a shimmering
            sheild against
disillusionment
pain of potential
         loss
endless strands
of longing
knotting in my
hair like kelp
keeping me rooted
to the sea floor,
feet ensconced in
the soft squish
of muck and earth
Miraculously,
    I breathe,
as if a sea nympth,
a mermaid
holding on to
the silvery scales
of her reality
indigo-dipped
in deepest iridescence
blending with fronds
of vibrant greens
and I am floating
within a vast membrane
     of brine
somehow nuturing,
liquid cushion
of womb-water
letting it slake
the piquancy of thirst
that bursts my tongue
               into succulence
Spiked in sea stars
like thorny crowns,
I reach out to
discover new textures
puncture the dark
with my fingers
enfold those waters
      to me,
letting them
rock the soul
          of my soul
the heart
      of the seed
of my heart
   and allow my
sonar, as powerful
as a whale's
encompassing call
to surge up
through nautical miles
                      of ocean depths,
buoyed through layers
of waves
        up unto
the winds
that ride,
     ever-tenderly,
the surface
    of
       the
    dawn

There is
a ripeness
          pending.
It stares at
me in the face,
          unblinking,
like an animal
ready to pounce.
It drinks in
my psyche,
             my blood
pumping
in its wild, tender veins.
It soaks up
the vitality
           clamoring
within me, like
a tornado
about to break force,
winds gathering
tightly under moonlight
a cosmic dam about
                      to burst.
It is a spell
cast into wilderness,
pristine and untouched,
yet longing for fulfillment
an undoing
of the senses
a subconscious unraveling
that journeys into
            unknown vistas
                with no map
Perhaps the
only real guidance
is each fine-tuned
          sensibility in turn:
Eyes taking in the colors
within pulsing electricity
as they merge
             and re-separate
into distinct tinctures
of luminosity  
Ears welcoming
the instruments
        of our bodies
as they writhe in tune
with acoustic passion,
hearing the cries of
wolf and owl whispers
          of trees deeply
reverberating into nightfall
Smell, to inhale
the muskiness of earth
the salt of sea
the crisp dusk of fire
and your pinelit, animal scent
                           familiar yet far
tracing me to you
like predator to prey
in magnetic vortex
  Touch,
                 to hold the
strands of my being
in place, steadied
by mahogany and silk
soft and solid at once
as the rhythms of storm
                 rock the house
And then:
Taste
to lusciously peel back
the layers of
             our essence        
letting them brew
in their own juices      
as they gather
  upon the tongue
in an effulgent stream:
sweet merging with salt
      pleasantly sour and piquant
with understanding
whetting appetites
in a sumptuous feast
         of enlightenment
that only shows us how,
in both primitive and
             ethereal awareness,
we had known this
was going
to happen
       all our
             lives

One small moment
can be so infinite,
in vibrations grand
as I watch the universe
                burst forth and expand
I sit upon the desert's ground
feeling the abundance
                     of Life, abound
How it envelopes me
          and takes me in
as I become one
with the cosmos,
           stars exploding within
It swallows me whole
into vastness so sacred
for we are all enfolded
across ancient
        frames of time
our condition vulnerable,  
                 souls naked
looking out into this
diamond-flecked magnitude
in crystalline,
                   sublime
For inside that far away,
milky density
of celestial spheres
we are part of the now
part of the here
        and, as the firmament      
continues to move
my starry-eyed soul
        begins to groove
******* state
from meteor's flash
tranjectory arcs
in a second's bright dash
A miracle of
cosmic magic unfolds
before our very eyes---
a gift to behold,
            a spiritual prize      
and as we hold our breath
from meteorite to star
I think about this
concept of far
ponder upon the waves of space
                                     and time:
an axis of fine-woven threads
                                that binds
and know that under
these spark-induced skies
our journeys fuse
             our hearts,
                   our eyes
Our spirits the
reflection of comets' haze
our dance of
shooting stars,
             ablaze

She is one
           unused to
expressing sadness
            used to burying
her treasures
            to sewing up
the prize within her
"not acceptable"
the girlhood message
        Well it is time
to let it wash over
every pore
lest it turn into
         a quiet tsunami
time to
      allow it to rise
from deep dark
       corners of water
to give permission
to simply let
            it happen  
Here it comes:
rivulets of sadness
streams of pain
flow out like a river
to cleanse the mud and silt
opportunites created
      for healing currents
to flood the river banks
with sweet abundance
once again
Now precious stones
and wildflowers
are gently revealed;
It is time
to let all those dark
hidden jewels
be coaxed up
and kissed, one by
one by precious one
by the sun
like deep sea jellyfish
who are called
by the light
to adorn ocean's surface
and show off
  the vibrancy
of iridescent rainbow colors
years hidden away
yet always
actually
there

I want to be loved
right through to my
      dark edges
where indigo smoke,
as mystical as night,
curls up to envelope you
I want that haziness    
     to penetrate
the fire in your eyes
as they mist over
two deep pools of wild
liquid-colored lava
I want to kiss you deep
right down to the embers
take them upon my tongue
      even if they burn
Let them smolder
Let the frayed vibrations
of our union
drip into magic
Let a new consciousness melt
into the realms of our minds
in an electric-toned hue of spirals
Let the love that has been
sealed inside
           go ultraviolet
          with every single breath
and all the poison of past battles
burn away
to reveal the buds of spring
as they burst through
layers of ice,
of ash
of obsidian
for even the most tender
of shoots can unfurl
in a magic that
defies the logic of suffering
and conjures
the language of miracles

Swish
opens the fridge
*Crack
goes the shell
a gentle
bloop
of milk
A fork,
to stir it well
African beats
take over
and I could
sway my hips
then
sizzle
of butter
in the pan
a bubbling hissss
as it flips
Yellow and white
meld together
sliding over
the plate
and shake
of salt, then pepper
to taste
I can barely wait!
Here it sits,
on my dish ---
a perfect
circle of sun,
bright even
on cloudy days
and mmmm
delicious
on the tongue.

Borderlines
        of love and lust
crossovers from uncertainty
                 to trust
How we travel
vast countries
in search of living
We forget that taking in
                           is also giving
We strive to reach
and forget ourselves
our process breached
                 in heaven's wells
And I am drowning
                in this murky sea    
submerged in this place
                 of mystery
Sometimes darkly
Sometimes bathed in
              sweet strata of light
Sometimes wrapped
                closely inside
gentle tendrils
of night
All the while speaking
the language of
       awareness and fire
my words heated-up silk
dripping molten desires
I throw to the winds
relics of ancient spells
conjure my heaven
          to chase out the hell
Polish off the dust
and shake out my soul's fabric
         air out my cells
Fill them up
          with new magic
And as I continue
      to break down these walls
         and spin off into
the astral spheres --
    I do my best to emulate
picking ripened fruit,
plucking sparks
         from the cosmos
so I may live
without
fear

I feel
as though rays of light
are constantly
hitting me,
penetrating my soul
constantly beating me,
Sweetly
The winds are whipping up
Softly
getting stronger,
swaying me, pushing me
sweetly
There is a kind of tornado
Around my head
Whipping my hair
Into the air
And leaves in spinning energy
Invisible, but as strong
As a freight train
sweetly
I am twirling
My heart beating faster
Not sure how much
Longer I can keep
my feet
upon the  ground

The weather has gone crazy.
I am blinded
By the light
My heart is beating quickly
Light turns to darkness
And blackness turns to bright

And as the tornado begins
I am swept
Off my feet,
with no idea how
This came to be
And no desire
to retreat.
So, I say:
Bring it on, fair winds
Whip it up.
I am ready.
Inside, my heart
Beats in its
Fullest form
And I am ready
For a perfect
Storm

She met him on the kingsroad
At the early hours of dawn
She noticed he was of noble birth
By his gait and dress,
graceful
As a swan
There was something of an air of mystery
A silent force
That drew him to her
But she didn’t want to attract such attention
From a stranger,
Who barely knew her.

Yet she was bold and found her voice
Decided to raise it to the sun
And gathering courage,
Made her choice
Whatever consequences would then come
"Excuse me, Sire,"
She managed to breathe
And by then it was too late
For he turned around,
The look in his eye was warm and sincere
And she could barely feel her feet.
"Is this the right way to the City
of Dreams?"
She queried, toughly,
For she knew he would bring no harm
And then when he faced her
She took a step back
Not expecting such honest charm

"Yes, indeed" he smiled kindly.
"If I may ask, without further ado..
Why on earth are you walking alone,
A lovely, sweet rose like you?"
She knew what he meant
For it was rough out there
With those who wish
To only take advantage.
With prying eyes
And prying hands.
Preying on those
Who cannot always manage
She knew she could easily
have her purse and legs
Opened by force
by strangers
Theirs was a lawless land
Where values were rare…
One was prone
To many dangers.

"I am stronger than I look, you know"
She aimed her wordly arrow
And struck
"Oh, yes, a feisty one you are,"
Came the retort
His eyes full of humor and *****

"Is this the way to the City of Dreams, or not?"
She asked with spice, yet saw a look so sweet
She imagined him tender, like a flower
As her heart lurched and skipped a beat
"It is, indeed, and apparently
I have found the best way to go.
But will you allow me to accompany you?
I can protect you, you know."

She was a spunky young woman.
Didn’t care about what others said or thought
Yet she hesitated to answer
For she knew her soul was bought

"Mmm..I can manage by myself" she lied
And started to walk ahead quickly
She knew that soon she'd let down her pride
As her soul-craving
Came hot and thickly.
She turned to him,
To hear his answer
But shock was in her eyes
For right in front of her
Exposed, revealed
Was a rare sight
A rather crimson surprise

"Oh, pardon me, Sir,"she said
But before I take my leave
I couldn’t help but notice..
That your heart is upon your sleeve.."

He looked down
And it was true
A blood red mass of pumping
Veins and arteries
That jumped off his beautiful suit
of velvet
"Oh good God" he said
And stumbled back on the pavement

"Wait, don't fall" she cried
And ran to catch him steady
She looked into his eyes and somehow let out
"I am here for you, when you are ready"
I will take your heart and hold it,
never let it go
Keep it warm and safe
Wherever your love will flow
If you want me
I will be yours to choose
Now put in that heart
Before it gets bruised!"

He looked up at her
And his heart was already
On air
He knew he'd better listen
For he was already in a snare

"I'm not sure I can" he gasped
But got up
And brushed himself off
By then his heart pumped
Within his chest
And despite the blood
Smeared upon his vest
She took his arm
And down the kingsroad
they progressed,
Half-aware, half-amazed
at this random meeting,
this unexpected recognition of souls
this feeling of frantic heart-beating…
So much to discover,
As the folds of time
Slowly fall back like wings
so much to revel in,
as Love, sublime
Slowly raises its voice
And sings

Apparently
the lines are down
and communication is ******
No way to get through
and I find myself here
sitting so deeply stuck
I only wish
To somehow create
a telephone line
straight to your heart
to tune it up
and tune it in
to fix it
make it
spew sparks
I want to ensure
that the lines will work
No matter how, no matter when
In all weather conditions
Or natural disasters
Floods or tornados
Wild winds that whip
Will not stop us
I want us to have
easy access
to those thoughts and words
that seem to fly
with witchlike magic
into our brains
into our minds
and directly into my lines
making me so high
What shame to be cut off
when the router has already found you
Your satellite
is floating around the planet
of my heart
and I am sending signals...
even if they are made from smoke
I care not
As long as they reach you
in the right place
at the right time
As long as you know
that somehow---
You're divinely
mine

This might not be
what you want to hear.
But in your absence,
I flourish.
      I thought I would wither
like a languid lily
but instead, I have
perked myself up
       and glow,
without even
trying
like so many
    hydrangeas in the garden
Luscious, unfurling
Waxy in their freshness

So, my dear,
I will let you
flow out
      into your new sphere
as I
happily
flow into mine.
       Yes, a new adventure
that redefines

I have wanted you
for so **** long
and now ....

Well, just look!
Those light fractals
forming prisms of rainbows?
That is the health of me
and my soul
        My soul rising up above stars
finding me, again
So thank you..
This release is without anger, only love
        Will always love you
but letting you go
has been
        beautiful