The lights in Beijing,
They are trying to imitate the stars,
Their falsehoods only ring true with the right song,
They only loose their deception in fake smiles,
And long standing words,
That have only little meaning left,
The waves in honolu,
Are trying to be the calming breath,
They only loose their depth,
When you cant believe your back at smitty's again,
When you see your last 5 spot,
And you know where it's going,
They can't calm you to sleep anymore,
The mountains in Denver are wanting to be Gods,
But they loose their glory in giant snow storms,
That make you feel like your fingers itch and numb,
Their Godhood is called into question when she won't wake up in bathroom stall,
And when you can't see the stars,
The heated wind in Phoenix,
Wants to be your warm blanket,
It just looses it's luster when you want to open your eyes to who you are,
When you can't breathe because of looks from far away people in far away minds,
And if you just need that cigarette to put the day behind you

The lights in Beijing shine true,
When the right song comes on,
And their glow is the hope that's left,

The waves in ol' Honolu breathe calm,
When you decide to go home,
And see your hopeful tomorrow,
Waves

The Mountains in Denver,
Are paying Godly attention,
When the sun comes a shining,
And remind you exactly where you are at,
The whisper,
It's exactly where you need to be

The hot windy days in Phoenix,
Show their comfort,
Dancing with dust and spinning with leaves,
The love of life always around,
And no matter where you are,
You just might be home.

I don’t know how to love you.
He broke me down like
the longest math equation.
But, in the process of solving he found
no solution. Only lost numbers
memories stuck on the chalkboard.

You say you’re too broken too.
But now you’re here.
Confused and softened possibly
afraid.
Definitely afraid.

And in this moment my mind
flushed with all of the feelings I kept in
my little locked box.
The cherishment I have for you and the
care and want that come along with
you. I wanted you. I want you.
But my brain tells me I don’t.

So my words are broken but my mind
is made up.

I want to be with you but you
don’t want to be with a
f—- up.

and when I use to write about
falling in love with you,
how it happened too fast and hard
how it left me open and exposed
what it felt like, that warmth in the cold
you were just so good, a taste
of something raw and real
and so bad for me but I didn't care
because when I use to write about
falling in love with you,
I didn't know how ****** up we were
but we learned

She’s more fun when she is drunk
At least…until she’s not
Because she’s puking in the toilet
And regretting her last shot

She’s more confident when she’s drunk
Gorgeous and ready to score
Until she looks in a mirror
And feels even uglier than before

She likes herself more when she is drunk
Until that feeling goes away
When she is so far beyond gone
That her self-hatred comes out to play

She’s happier when she’s drunk
All her issues leave her brain
But they all come crashing back at once
And cause her so much pain

She likes the world more when drunk
It’s filled with so much good
Until one little thing sets her off
And she hates it all more than she should

She likes life more when she’s drunk
Her mind for once feels still
Terrified of losing that feeling
She soon wants to end things with a pill

But she can stop any time she wants
Or so she’d have you believe
Because alcohol makes her seem so happy
That is, until all her friends leave

I saw you the other night
Sneaking at the back of my heart
I watched as you sparked a light
A light that had spread to a fire
It flicked like a fragile flame on a wick
I let it dance on the kindling of my heart
I let it scar me, whip me until I bled
Your fire twirled as my blood ran red

You stole the reins to my heart
You roused me, galvanized me
It skipped to the music of your voice
I grasped my heart on my hands
Bloodied, bruised, burned, but still beating
And with the beats, it told me
That it would be better shared with you
With you and only you

Embrace me with tenderness
Beguile me with splendor
Drown me in your passion
Intoxicate me with your love
Oh, please, make me believe
There's nothing wrong with this love
Such an unreasonable reality
This is not what I hoped for
But as long as I'm with you
I don't care about anything else.

i spent three years with a boy who claimed to love me, but tried changing me every chance he got.

he let it be known that his type were blondes, and foolishly enough I bleached my hair and broke my own heart trying to be his barbie doll. when I dyed my hair brown, he said it was pretty but you'd be prettier with black hair. I could have been the rainbow, and he'd say that the world is simply black and white.

I was an object to him, my virginity a flower he plucked knowing **** well that I would wilt the minute I was in his hands.

He forced me to watch him play video games on a daily -I wish I had realized that he always had the gun in his hand in these games; soon enough he would **** me.

-will be continued / my heart hurts too much to continue right now-

bond over alcohol
why can't we bond over our breathes
and the steps
we take
that go in the same direction
the steps we take
that may not make sense
because i want to bond
over what makes my heart soar
not what kind of alcohol will get me more *****
because i'm not that kind of girl
you can't take me on a whirl
i'd get too dizzy anyway
projectile ***** on your already ***** sheets
because i don't want to be a puzzle
i'm not something you need to figure out
to fix and put together, i'm not getting better
i'm me and that's what you need to see
but you see my big hair
short dresses with long legs
and you wonder
what they would feel like wrapped around yours
so you want to bond over alcohol
yeah, i'll take your free shot
but then i'm gone to look at the stars
cause unless they're in your eyes
that's the only thing i what i want to make love to

If i told you i needed help
would you listen?
Or would your silence
Echo off the walls.
See my life is like a car,
Sometimes moving fast
And other times so **** slow.
If i told you i feel hurt inside
would you not just hear
but listen
to what i said
I need someone to care.
Im tired of trying to fight alone.
Im tired of trying to survive at a table for one.
If i told you
I cry all over my body
And each tear is a knife
And they are leaving scars on my flesh,
Would you cut me a bandage,
Sop up my blood,
Or leave me to bleed out.
If i told you
I was alone and my demons are taunting me
would you get me out
Or would you keep walking
or keep scrolling...
Im not begging for attention,
But one cannot be expected to be alone and silent like a life long detention.
If i told you
I was ready to confess everything
Come clean from my secrets,
Strip myself naked so you could see my imperfections
would you care even the slightest bit
Or are you so selfish
And so ignorant
To walk on
And leave this person to die.
If i told you i was ready to die
would you blame it in cliche,
Or believe it and save me from damnation
Its time to think.
It could be up to you
This isnt just my world,
Its yours, too
and dont you want to be
somebody
To someone?
I need you.
Because all of these "if i told you's
Are becoming
**im telling you

I would say I love you
to the moon and back
But that would be a lie
For my love cannot be measured
by miles or metrics of any kind

My love for you crosses oceans
My affection spans galaxy's
My adoration does not end at
a point decided by a ruler

My love for you is endless