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 Dec 2016 Lila Valentine
JR Falk
One.
When my mom found us asleep in my bed at 4am and screamed at you to 'Get the **** OUT of her house,' you texted me the very next morning and asked to see me as though it never even happened.

Two.
When my family went out of town without me for Thanksgiving, we stayed the whole day at your place and watched foreign movies and ate pasta.

Three.
On our first date, we sat in your car until 3am just... talking.

Four.
When my sister really wanted that new Pokemon game and my local Walmart sold out, you voluntarily drove almost 5 towns over just so she could get it because you knew I couldn't for her.

Five.
The first time we had ***, I cried. I still don't know why. You held me the whole time.

Six.
You woke me up with tickets to one of my favorite musicians of all time, for a tour I didn't even know about.

Seven.
When my dogs died, you stayed up with my the whole night as I cried. Both times.

Eight.
The first time you kissed me was at a gas pump at 10pm after I changed out of my blouse and into my hoodie.

Nine.
You took me to Buffalo Wild Wings even though you're a vegetarian. You even put up with my singing each 2008 Billboard Top 100 song as it played. I could tell you were embarrassed for me, but you laughed and kissed me anyway.

Ten.
When I told you I hadn't been to the art museum, you took me. When I told you I'd never been to Chipotle, you took me. When I told you I hadn't felt safe in years, you made me feel the safest I ever have.

Eleven.
After you kissed me the first time, you admitted the thing that "made" you kiss me was my purple-stained lips after I ate Superman ice cream while belting out songs terribly and sitting in the passenger seat of your car.

Twelve.
When I told you that you were a terrible tipper and I was a waitress, you immediately stopped tipping terribly.

Thirteen.
You left me a voicemail telling me you appreciated me, that you felt lucky to have me, and you claimed you didn't deserve me. While I disagree, I felt it. That was the first time I heard you say "I love you" before you had actually said the words "I love you."
CJT.
I love you.

11.30.2016
11:02am
Hi
Hi.
You might not know me
But for real
I don't even blame you
I gave up long ago
on sharing who I was
while hiding
who I am

Hi.
I seem a stranger
good and bad
and all the in-between
It wasn't so pretty
or easy, or real, or "fine"
but I am
OK now.

Hi.
I was an addict.
drugs of choice?
Elusive approval
Associated shame
Stolen identity
Yes, I was
just a fraud.

Hi.
Here I am broken.
you scold me
and then I lose myself
a scapegoat to be razed
to be a throwaway
But I raised
my self up.

Hi.
I’m a mosaic
Living art
I'm pieces of past lives
And though I was scattered
I am collected now
I made this
this beauty

Hi.
This isn't my piece - my friend's Tiff aka Scarlet Begonia. I'm posting this for her pure honesty and the beauty of how she put it. Love new talent. Love it. Enjoy.
He laughs at the way
I make lucky paper stars
When I'm anxious
or scared
or sad
or lonely.
He thinks it's cute,
Or so he says.
But when he sees me making them
He comes to sit with me
And I've started to fill
jars of stars
A lot slower
Because I like his smile
when he sits with me.
We're just beginners at trusting.
 Mar 2015 Lila Valentine
Whiskurz
"Daddy look at all the sandcastles"
"Aren't they all so grand?"
"Who could have known a king and his throne,
Could simply be made out of sand"

"Look at the beautiful towers"
"I wonder if a princess lives there"
"I'll bet she is kind, they're so hard to find,
With beautiful long flowing hair"

My daughter loved to go to the beach
She loved the sandcastles the best
But she didn't know her heart was too slow
And soon they would open her chest

It's funny sometimes how time can fly
It only seems like yesterday
There was a major complication with her operation
And my daughter has passed away

I still go to the beach from time to time
To see the sandcastles on display
I still close my eyes and part of me dies
Each time I hear her say

"Daddy look at all the sandcastles"
"Aren't they all so grand?"
"Who could have known a king and his throne,
Could simply be made out of sand"
Little Emily,
Don't leave the place where the sidewalk ends:
Where white daisies bask in the sun;
(Circle, and circle, and circle.)
Before the winding, winding road begins
Where paper dolls with dreamers, run.

Stay on the sidewalk, Emily, don't step too far:
Ignore granny's piercing screams,
(They circle, and circle, and circle so loud.)
And mummy's moonlit tears that drown,
While broken rhymes you softly sing.

All you know is a face in gilded frames
Kept still in perpetual bliss;
(Circle, and circle, and circle, it goes.)
With whom you share the same eyes and face;
Whose life before yours is now yours to live.

The road ahead bends into a roundabout,
And repeats endlessly, the story of that man
(Circle, and circle, and circle.)
Who left the world too soon to see his little girl grow up;
Whose road ended where yours began.

A few years more and you'll start to ask,
"Why does the sidewalk end?"
(Circle, and circle.)
For on the roundabout, no daisies grow:
It just circles, ends, begins.

10 years later, and still she knows,
That place where the sidewalk ends,
But the daisies died in the crimson sun,
(Circle.)
And you step onto the road, where the chase begins:
So run now, little Emily,
Run.

-c.t.
{I don't ever want to know
What lies beyond where the sidewalk ends.}

This poem was inspired by Shel Silverstein's 'Where The Sidewalk Ends', one of my favourite poems, and by '****', CJC's current theatre production.
 Feb 2015 Lila Valentine
Holly
:'(
 Feb 2015 Lila Valentine
Holly
:'(
Just once,


                                   I want someone to be afraid of losing me.
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