She is bright and happy,
Lighting up the room-
Living like she’s caught in a reverie,
Navigating the twists of life
As though it was easy.
Enrapturing everyone with her flawlessness.

But she covers her sorrows with that cheer
Hiding the struggle, the quiet pain.  
Her clandestine ways fooling everyone.

Nobody notices,
The way she cries herself to sleep.
The way she can’t look in the mirror.
The way she exists in a world of darkness-
An inescapable shadow on her life.

She glows.
She breaks.
She laughs.
She cries.

I am her.
And she is me.

If tears were red,
they'd have seen —
my white pillow stained by morning,
red marks blooming on the bedsheet,
on my face,
on my shirt.
My eyes, still puffy,
still red
from the bleeding of the night before —
not from wounds,
but from weeping.
Eyes not meant to bleed,
yet they did.

And still,
no one noticed
the colourless blood I’ve spilled.

I put a spell on you
Convinced you I was fine
Told you how happy I was
Lived like the sun still shone bright
Like the stars hadn’t dimmed
I didn’t let you see
The darker side
The crying late at night
The constant checking in the mirror
The skipping meals
The constant stress
The last flicker of light,
Blinking out
I promised I was good
Promised that the world was not ending
I put a spell on you
So that you wouldn’t see