I apologize
You were a decimated book
That I promised to renew
But as I kissed your lips
And caressed your face
In the most gentle way I could
More pages were torn and shredded

I apologize
You were the pouring rain
And I loved feeling raindrops
On my skin
But as you shower me
With your words, emotions, fears
I seek for shelter in haste

I apologize
You were a neglected garden
I strayed from my home's path
And I saw you
I told you I would be back
Help you regain your life
But I forgot where you are

I apologize
You were the twinkling stars
Even your slightest smile
Illuminated the black sky
But my eyes were transfixed
On the cracks of my ceiling
I can't look at you anymore

I apologize
You were both gems and pearls
My filthy, rough hands
Have dared to touch you, love you
I said I will take care of you
But old habits die hard
I keep breaking you

Where did the shyness go?
              I remember
hiding under
              women's skirts
red
              faced
counting freckles staring
              as the universe unwound
gazing
              at the birth of stars
and the aura
              left.
now
              I stare down.

You know that moment right before you cry?

That feeling?

Well that is my home

As your fingertips traced my freckles into constellations, I wished I could have loved you, instead.