I grew up with the silly idea
That boys would write poetry
For the girl in the back of the coffeeshop.

It’s far from romantic
The countless times I’ve walked that road,
Entered that C- bakery,
And rested my elbows on a wobbly table.
Once, I twisted my ankle,
Caked my jeans in mud and embarrassment.
Another time, I fell in a puddle.
Nobody helped me up or dried me off.
Hundreds of dollars wasted on cheap coffee
That only kept me up long enough
To realise how low I was.

I wrote poems for boys in the coffeeshop,
Adam and all the rest.
They didn’t write any for me.

I gave you the key to my heart
And you lost it on the way to her house

Once I thought I was enough,
then you destroyed me.

And I found myself crying,
all over again
in my room
trying to catch my breath
but it's hard to calm your soul
when you are broken into pieces.

I would've died for you
but don't think about it too much

don't imagine a knife in my hands
slicing away all of the parts of myself
that you decided weren't good enough for you
the parts you forgot to love

don't think about my blood
running onto your floor as you stand there
watching it and wondering
how you're going to clean it up
I'm dying on the inside
because you've stolen from me
the kind of love that is never supposed to leave

I didn't love you the way novels are written
we didn't hold hands and watch the stars
we watched the sunrise in smiles
we made memories at midnight
I never loved you with kisses or cuddling
but I loved you

so much so that I didn't need to breath
if the air in your lungs was slipping away
I would have cut myself open
and offered you my own
and I was hoping you would do the same
but I know better now

do not strain yourself on matters of my death
if i died from exposure you'd have my jacket
if I had a bullet in my heart I jumped in front of you
I would have

because the past no longer will influence my future
I will not die for you anymore
for you laughed at my love
and tossed it aside

so when you lay dying from the vacancy in your chest
because when I ran I left without a word
don't think too much about it

She is perfect to me,
Being, smile and mind sublime.
Why would she want me.

You brainwash me,
Carefully,
Slowly,
With ads and TV.
You show me that I'm not skinny enough,
You show me that I'm not smart enough,
You show me to reveal more skin,
Simply because I'm a girl.
There's no escape from the zombies that follow the magazines.
Or the ones that mindlessly stare at phones constantly.
I'm told to be a stick, with blonde hair and blue eyes,
I'm told that I'm loved, but for what?
By whom?

Does that mean I'm not enough?
Was everyone else born wearing makeup?
You say I'm free to follow,
but you drag me screaming on the ground.
Prosecuted for making the smallest sound
So leave me alone and take the hypnotized idiots,
I'll keep my place in life,
and my meaningful existence.