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It doesn’t matter
If a beautiful sun sets
I still have nightmares
It doesn’t matter if he tells me he loves me
My first love had an affair
I try to stay calm
After the pain hits
These thoughts are overbearing
How am I supposed to live happily
With a person that deserves me
If all I can do is be paranoid with my past
I will keep telling myself it’s all in my head
Maybe one day I will finally accept it.
You're my security blanket.
Come cuddle me up.
Take me in.
With you all my fears and worries just disappear.
Please put it away.
Just give it up.  
Do you see the tears falling from my face?
Each one glistens as bright as your perfect little liquor.
Mom said to forgive you.
I did you see,
But you keep adding to your list of broken promises and stinging words
That you chuck at me.
Please throw them away.
Just give them up.

I let you hug me last night
When you cried and apologized to me
Tears swelled up in your eyes and soaked into my sweatshirt.
Please throw your crying act away.
Just give it up.

Because
I already forgave you
For when I was 3 and you hurt mommy and me.
I already forgave you
For when you made me think my life was about to end at the age of 10.
I already forgave you
For when I was 17 and you made me drop to my knees and painfully sob my chest out.
I already forgave you.

I wanted your love for the longest time
But now there's a numbness
That grows more and more
From each heart ache
You place in my life.

I already forgave you,
It's just these images
And feelings of fear
Are stuck in my head.

I just need to put them away.
I just need to give them up.
Images in my head... A picture really does last longer.
Our eyes met
Then our smiles greeted soon after.
Butterflies came fluttering along
And all that sang from our mouths was laughter.
We became friends but a kiss was exchanged -
What a lovable and awkward disaster.
My innocence can be to blame.
I'm attached to you now.
So please pull the thread
To keep us sewn together.
I need you in my life like infinity craves forever.
We went to the movies and I didn't bring a sweater.
But the night was coldly filled with goosebump raising weather.
There were goosebumps on my skin but I didn't have my sweater.
I thought it would be better if we sat closer together.
You wrapped your arms around me and were my warmth spreader.
You made my heart melt and now I will forever be your debtor.
I thought it was insane
How these teardrops fell like rain.
I thought you were mine
And that everything was perfectly fine.
I was content.
But that wasn't enough.
So another one of Cupid's bows were sent
Flying to a new heart.
A heart you'd claim as your new temporary love.

— The End —