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 Dec 2016 Leilani
Riley Young
I envy children
They have something I have lost
That magical sense of wonder
The joy of waking up to a new day
They don't know the hardships of life and are content
I envy their ignorance
One more dreamlike day would bring me solace
Sadly my childhood is long gone
Good things always come to an end
 Dec 2016 Leilani
Striped
Mother
 Dec 2016 Leilani
Striped
When you hurt, i hurt too
Though i never show it
When you are down i feel blue too
Though you'd never know it

I cant cry in front of you
It makes me seem so weak
As a kid i donned the cape
I was no longer meek

You had so much to deal with then
I pretended i was fine
Never let a teardrop fall
I never crossed that line

When you were hurt
Id pick you up and start the mediation
Let's do this, let's do that
We'll sort the situation

This was never asked of me
I took it on myself
Now it seems in protecting you
I've distanced myself

I love you above all else
I really hope you know
Even though i find tough to show.
#mum #family #love #emotionally stunted
 Dec 2016 Leilani
r
We can dream...




"Donald J. TrumpVerified account
‏@realDonaldTrump
China steals United States Navy research drone in international waters - rips it out of water and takes it to China in unpresidented act."

* Emphasis mine.  Trump's misspelling: all his, baby.

*un·prec·e·dent·ed

ˌənˈpresədən(t)əd/
adjective
never done or known before.
"the government took the unprecedented step of releasing confidential correspondence"
synonyms: unheard of, unknown, new, novel, groundbreaking, revolutionary, pioneering, epoch-making;
http://www.snopes.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/trump-unpresidented-tweet.jpg
 Dec 2016 Leilani
ln
First off, you probably already know I am a people hoarder. I keep everyone close to my heart, even the ones I know I shouldn't. But like poison, you crept into my blood stream and choked me. You watched me suffer and scream for help and watched, because that is what you are - a watcher.

I want you to know this wasn't an easy decision to make. Regardless of good or bad, you played a role in my life and kept the balance going. But I've decided to disrupt the balance - as silly as it sounds. I told myself I was going to give, and give until I have nothing left to give. But I've seen emptiness. And the dark scares me.

I've realized that it is pointless to **** myself for someone who doesn't see my worth. Call me petty, call me self-centred. I will not sacrifice for someone whose intention is to use me. There is, a fine line between being kind and naive. Unfortunately, it was you who made me realize the difference.

I'm sorry you mistakened my kindness for " hey please step all over my head because I'd never find out anyway. " I'm sorry you thought I hadn't heard of the story of broken glass. When glass breaks, you can fix it. It'll just never look the same. Glue, tape - hate, love. I tried it all. It never really does work, you know. The story isn't cooked up.

I'm sorry you took my company for granted because I don't know if my absence will affect you - but I should learn how to no longer care. Don't get me wrong, it's going to hurt. But sometimes you have to just pull through - because that is exactly what life is about.

Having you in my life has affected me terribly in some ways. You watched as I hit my lowest - as I fell into deep rubbles, as I walked out of it fighting, only to hit the ground again every single time. I'm sorry you had to see the worst of me, and didn't know what to do or say. I forgive you - you didn't deserve to see me that way, I apologize.

I still wish you the very best in everything that you do. You were once upon a time all I thought I needed, but it is time to let go. I loved you then, I love you still. I'll light up candles for you occasionally, and I am sorry it had to end this way.

Take care, stranger. I think I'll miss you forever.
 Dec 2016 Leilani
Madzq
daddy
 Dec 2016 Leilani
Madzq
I said that I needed
to put between   us    some distance.
And in that instance,
with a voice so vicious,
You warned me
to never ask your help again.

I don't think I need help from you
if you can't give it freely.
There's always some catch
some payback
some string attached.
Not gonna let that enslave me.

Not gonna do this anymore,
Not when your anger
pummels me into the floor.
 Dec 2016 Leilani
mosquitoism
Daddy
 Dec 2016 Leilani
mosquitoism
There ain't no monsters under my bed,
they are inside my head.
Being eaten up by some unpleasant thoughts lately.
 Dec 2016 Leilani
Sylvia Plath
I have done it again.
One year in every ten
I manage it----

A sort of walking miracle, my skin
Bright as a **** lampshade,
My right foot

A paperweight,
My face a featureless, fine
Jew linen.

Peel off the napkin
0 my enemy.
Do I terrify?----

The nose, the eye pits, the full set of teeth?
The sour breath
Will vanish in a day.

Soon, soon the flesh
The grave cave ate will be
At home on me

And I a smiling woman.
I am only thirty.
And like the cat I have nine times to die.

This is Number Three.
What a trash
To annihilate each decade.

What a million filaments.
The peanut-crunching crowd
Shoves in to see

Them unwrap me hand and foot
The big strip tease.
Gentlemen, ladies

These are my hands
My knees.
I may be skin and bone,

Nevertheless, I am the same, identical woman.
The first time it happened I was ten.
It was an accident.

The second time I meant
To last it out and not come back at all.
I rocked shut

As a seashell.
They had to call and call
And pick the worms off me like sticky pearls.

Dying
Is an art, like everything else,
I do it exceptionally well.

I do it so it feels like hell.
I do it so it feels real.
I guess you could say I've a call.

It's easy enough to do it in a cell.
It's easy enough to do it and stay put.
It's the theatrical

Comeback in broad day
To the same place, the same face, the same brute
Amused shout:

'A miracle!'
That knocks me out.
There is a charge

For the eyeing of my scars, there is a charge
For the hearing of my heart----
It really goes.

And there is a charge, a very large charge
For a word or a touch
Or a bit of blood

Or a piece of my hair or my clothes.
So, so, Herr Doktor.
So, Herr Enemy.

I am your opus,
I am your valuable,
The pure gold baby

That melts to a shriek.
I turn and burn.
Do not think I underestimate your great concern.

Ash, ash ---
You poke and stir.
Flesh, bone, there is nothing there----

A cake of soap,
A wedding ring,
A gold filling.

Herr God, Herr Lucifer
Beware
Beware.

Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.
 Dec 2016 Leilani
skaldspiller
I called my mom
To ask if this is normal
Ive been with you
For 3 months
And im sorta infatuated
And i like you more everyday
And i admire you
But i dont love you yet
Everyone says thats normal
But love has always hit me like a freight train
And im wondering how much time
I should spend waiting on the track
With you
What if it never comes
My mom just reexplained insanity and said
And how have those frieght train loves
Worked out for you?
Fair point
 Dec 2016 Leilani
skaldspiller
"love you" slipped out your lips
as you were parting
and I not believing that you meant it
and not knowing what to say if you did
Just stammered out drive safe
all the while
I wanted to lay
my heart in your hands
I don't know if you understand
and i'll take a nap at 10 pm
and have a hard time sleeping tonight
because i still wont know if those words meant
anything.
 Dec 2016 Leilani
Daniel Magner
the light on the front porch
that leads me out from the storm,
the crackling in the fireplace
that keeps my cold soul warm,
the food lining the fridge shelves
that fill me when I'm starved,
and the blankets on the bed at night
that keep me bundled, safe from harm
Daniel Magner 2016
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