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Dec 2016
First off, you probably already know I am a people hoarder. I keep everyone close to my heart, even the ones I know I shouldn't. But like poison, you crept into my blood stream and choked me. You watched me suffer and scream for help and watched, because that is what you are - a watcher.

I want you to know this wasn't an easy decision to make. Regardless of good or bad, you played a role in my life and kept the balance going. But I've decided to disrupt the balance - as silly as it sounds. I told myself I was going to give, and give until I have nothing left to give. But I've seen emptiness. And the dark scares me.

I've realized that it is pointless to **** myself for someone who doesn't see my worth. Call me petty, call me self-centred. I will not sacrifice for someone whose intention is to use me. There is, a fine line between being kind and naive. Unfortunately, it was you who made me realize the difference.

I'm sorry you mistakened my kindness for " hey please step all over my head because I'd never find out anyway. " I'm sorry you thought I hadn't heard of the story of broken glass. When glass breaks, you can fix it. It'll just never look the same. Glue, tape - hate, love. I tried it all. It never really does work, you know. The story isn't cooked up.

I'm sorry you took my company for granted because I don't know if my absence will affect you - but I should learn how to no longer care. Don't get me wrong, it's going to hurt. But sometimes you have to just pull through - because that is exactly what life is about.

Having you in my life has affected me terribly in some ways. You watched as I hit my lowest - as I fell into deep rubbles, as I walked out of it fighting, only to hit the ground again every single time. I'm sorry you had to see the worst of me, and didn't know what to do or say. I forgive you - you didn't deserve to see me that way, I apologize.

I still wish you the very best in everything that you do. You were once upon a time all I thought I needed, but it is time to let go. I loved you then, I love you still. I'll light up candles for you occasionally, and I am sorry it had to end this way.

Take care, stranger. I think I'll miss you forever.
Written by
ln  21/F
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