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 Feb 2018 Leielani E
eileen
I've become nothing

The colors I see
Aren't so charming
Like they use to be

I'm nothing

I don't understand anything
 Dec 2017 Leielani E
Pablo Neruda
I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine
 Oct 2017 Leielani E
Mike Hauser
to always have this feeling
a feeling that never quits
as it is more depressing
the deeper and darker that it gets

it seems that all these blackened walls
keep closing in on me
where there's not a day i can't recall
of ever feeling free

it's a miracle this broken heart
can keep up with its beats
this feeling that i'm not at all
never seems to leave

shadows in the corners of my soul
beating the happiness out of me
depression has the remote control
changing channels as i breathe

i always have this feeling
that i'm feeling will never quit
it gets more depressing
the deeper and darker that it gets
Was speaking with a friend yesterday that goes through bouts of depression. I really don't understand and that saddens me. I wish I could help but I really don't know how.
I don't value I treasure.
I either tiptoe or run.
No need for me to measure,
My thoughts aren't feathers, they're tons.

My worries, they aren't waves,
They're frightening hurricanes,
I don't hurt for hours,
I always hurt for days.

I do not try to bandage,
I only aim to heal.
I don't admire lightly,
I see endless appeal.

Moderation's not my friend,
Maybe I'm all or none,
But at least there is no question,
I don't like, I love.
 Sep 2017 Leielani E
Rebel Heart
I just want to pack my bags
And vanish
Leave without a trace

Spend the rest of my life
In solitude
Knowing
I'm no longer
A burden to you...
...
Maybe this way I'll find me,
The real me,
The one that lives outside of
These useless broken words
The one that breathes outside of
This loop of a mess that's become
My nightmare and my life all at once
...
Maybe this way I can finally
Throw away my masks
Maybe this way I can finally
Taste freedom
Maybe this way
I might even discover
The meaning of
True happiness

*And maybe this time
I won't run away from it
"She loved mysteries so much that she became one..." Maybe she became one to finally unlock the mysteries of the world...
Front Page (9/13/17)
(Just some scribbles on a lined paper someone will find years from now in the trash...)
 May 2017 Leielani E
Cherisse May
How pathetic of me
To write poems and string up words
When those same words
Are the reason why my soul bleeds.

How despicable of me
To talk to a phone
Simply because
I just don't belong.
I am uneasy with everything and nothing  happening all at once.
 May 2016 Leielani E
Mike Hauser
Don't smile
Don't frown
Don't turn around
Don't make eye contact  

Don't wink
Don't blink
Don't even think
About where you are at

Don't say hey
Don't wave
Don't small talk make
Stare straight at the wall

Don't clear your throat
Call someone bro
Or make a joke
Of okay now please cough

You're a man
Wash your hands
Though that's not in the plan
Dry them on your pants

Walk to the door
As you ignore
All else but the floor
Don't even think of looking back
On a road trip and have had the pleasure of stopping at a few rest areas...
 Feb 2016 Leielani E
Mike Hauser
such is life...

when it's all that you've got
you can take it or leave it
believe it or not
beg, steal, or borrow
with all that you've bought
soon come tomorrow
all may be lost

such is life...

as you live for today
in no time you find
it's been taken away
hold back in silence
or shout out your say
in total defiance
as you do it your way

such is life...

when there's only one
hurtled through space
third rock from the sun
always last place
is how most mostly run
as we come face to face
with the coming undone

such is life...

the good with the bad
happy go lucky
tug of heart sad
the taking of much
with the no giving back
such is life
when that's all there is
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