I quickly scribble the words down that go across my mind
Quickly, Quickly before the thought leaves my brain
But these thoughts, they're not edited
These are my words, straight from me
I don't think in rhymes or haiku's
I think me
What you read is what you get
The more I edit
The less me it becomes
Some edit thoughts to connect to you
But not me
I publish me

Your memories creep back into my mind
Their persistence is unyielding
Not a single day has passed that I don't think about you
I'm drowning in the lack of your presence
This longing for you wont go away
This unsatisfying, empty feeling
But I'm only trapping myself
Its time that I crawl out of this darkness
Open my eyes to the light
Stop hiding behind superficial happiness
Because I lack the real thing
I don't feel anything
I'm completely isolated
I stray away from everyone
Including myself
I don't even know who I am anymore
If I even am someone
If I ever was someone

Red...
There's so much red.
Swirling around my toes,
Running through my fingers,
Staining my hands,
Dripping down my face.
Dying my hair red turns my shower into a ****** scene.

I don't drink diet soda
I don't count my calories
What even is a carb
I eat McDonald's fries
I get lazy and skip a workout
I cant eat salad without dressing
I love cake, candy, sugar, etc.
I can eat a whole pizza by myself
I like to wear things to try to fit in
I talk about people behind their back
I wear make up
I get mad at my parents
I ask for too much
I expect too much
I try too hard to fit in
I'm 16, 125 lbs, and 5'2"
Go ahead, judge me
See if I care.

I have this burden on my shoulders
It's weighing me down
I can't pick myself back up
I can't even move
You put this weight on me
Please lift it, forgive me my love
Please let me go, release me of your wrath
Don't hold my mistakes over my head like this
You place them so high I cant reach them
So I'm stuck here
Staring up at you from the ground
Buried underneath my burdens

I find myself..
Sitting here,
Thinking about you,
Again.
Another sleepless night,
Spent thinking about you,
Wasted.
You do not deserve my time,
You do not deserve my thoughts,
You certainly do not deserve my pity.
But here we go,
Again.
I'm lost in thoughts of you,
Again.