What is it about the world    
that leaves you so conflicted?    
why is your tone    
pale as bone?    
   
Glance at this man    
who suffers the burden    
of the misery you make    
all too real.  
   
Does the world pay for your dreams    
and refunds your nightmares?    
   
Where the source    
of this your sorrow?
 
Is summer too hot,    
winter too cold?    
Perhaps the rain is too wet,
and the heat too warm?

Or    
are you just spineless,    
and not as bold as they say you were?

i dread the day you learn
for the first time that
you can't just love all
the darkness in me away

and no matter how much
you care i will still toss
and turn at night and scars
might still appear on my skin

i dread the day you realize
that you can't cure me
and sometimes all you can do
is stand next to me and
hold my hand through fog
pouring out of my ears so black
and thick we can't even see
each other's faces

i dread the days i can't
get out of bed
the days you want to
take me out and all
i can manage is a prettified
shell of myself

i dread the day you learn
that sometimes no matter
how hard i try i still can't
pull myself together

the day you learn that
there isn't an answer
you can give that will
save me from my fears

you aren't the first person
who has tried to love the
darkness inside away
my family and friends
have given it their all
but someday you too will learn
that if love could
cure mental illness
the world would be
a much better place

I can't say I regret it,
can't say I feel bad,
Cause it was long coming.
It was a storm just waiting to happen.
So, I let it.
"Why?", you may ask.
Well, because it was tough,
tough having to fight a battle I knew I was gonna lose.

I let it happen,
and I can't say I regret it.
Cause I also needed to live, just like you.
You made me do this, you know.
Why couldn't you stay quiet?
Why couldn't you stop it?
If it weren't for you,
I would still be here.

The words you said were like scars,
never leaving me.
I know it doesn't make sense,
but I don't really blame you,
I pity you, you know.
The you of then must have been similar to me.
You must have also hid when they came.
Still, I want to know, why,
Why did you do it to me?
Did you get any satisfaction?

You survived it,
you might think of yourself as brave,
but all you are is a coward.
I guess I just wasn't strong enough to face you head on.
I don't regret it because now atleast I know,
I know what it feels like to be left out,
to be looked down on,
to be spat on.

So, I thank you,
I thank you for showing me you who you truly were.
Or else I would have been living in a fool's paradise.
Even though you got through me,
but there lies a whole world beyond which, you cannot get through.
Though I'm leaving,
I'll still be here to see how much you regret it there.

stereotyped- scarred for life stigmata
but still a man has to get his dollar
dive deep in the murky water
of service and humility,
sailors know that's where the jewelry is
and Life's gems- and Life's treasures-
and Death's life- and Death's pleasures-
so be fearless, no second thought is needed-
you should know your soul is eternally
bound to a life in... in... infinity....

...


why fear a look down
just ignore their frowns, they're clowns-
they know the dirt comes off
they know you are strong,
you scare them coz you are tough
and you dare too much
and you dare be bold
they know the glitter beneath your pain is gold

Maya thought right: 'from the dirt, I rise'
why not keep it simple
so you don't pay the price
the old ones shrug it off saying,
'they only want your life'
they say 'it's nothing'

but you know what? it's something,
who wants to live trapped,
caged, feeling dead inside

smiles you must know
can never beget dimples
grace you must know
honors the humble

who needs praise?
since I am done,
i thank you for reading
now hurry along
please be gone
they are waiting

You gauge my feverish eyes,
Sick-to-death,
And you hide the medicine
And you serve the ****


A million hours
A million jokes
A million laughs-
All for naught