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Your eyes drink of me,
Love makes them shine,
Your eyes that lean
So close to mine.

We have long been lovers,
We know the range
Of each other’s moods
And how they change;

But when we look
At each other so
Then we feel
How little we know;

The spirit eludes us,
Timid and free —
Can I ever know you
Or you know me?
and i'm not sure what's worse;
to be lonely with someone, or to be lonely without.
 Jun 2014 Laura Mankowski
pluto
Somehow, I knew
That you would eventually
Become the sole reason
That I was awake at midnight

But I never imagined
Those sleepless nights
Occurring because of
Nightmares
Where you were
Happy with someone else
Who wasn’t me
Some mornings, heartbreak is in your bones, settled deep inside though you can’t seem to recall sending the invitation.
Your rib cage stands like the bare tree of fall, the wind whistling through it’s frail branches, tapping on your window as if to remind you, you are alone.

Some mornings, heartbreak is in your skull, in the crevices of the pale blue casing that surrounds your every thought, the broken dreamcatcher trying to keep the evil away.
But ghosts can float between the bars, slip inside your deepest secrets, with no regret or remorse for making you cry out in the night.

Some mornings, heartbreak is in your spine, intertwining like ivy on a lamp post, leaving you begging for someone else to hold your own head up for you.
Comfort resides in the hours spent cut off from reality, for at least you have control of that, though the dreams leave you franticly reaching in the night for something unknown to even you.

Some mornings, heartbreak finds it’s way back to your heart, slides through the valves, into the ventricles, mixing with the blood that gives you life. Heartbreak gives you life. Heartbreak reaches every last corner of your body, crippling you and taunting you, but you are still capable of breathing on your own. Heartbreak may be a thief, but you are a statue, broken and crumbling around the edges but still standing after all these years.

Some mornings, heart break is in your body. It seems to make up the essence of you, but it is not your being. You are your being.
my heart was like a glass jar
and you threw it on the floor
when you told me you had to go home
but it was a lie
i know you went to see her.
you left your jacket on the couch
and its still there
i can't move it
because its like touching you
and it all becomes real again.
sometimes i just come close enough
to smell your leftover cologne.
the one that smells like musk
it smells like home to my heart
and it mends it back together
and its like your here again

</3
 Jun 2014 Laura Mankowski
nominal
I can’t shake this feeling like I’m a bother to be around.

Not important enough for someone to muster up a conversation with first

Not important enough to wait for

Not good enough to be the first option or best friend 

Not good enough to please anyone

Not worth much at all.

I’m so deep under this depression and I’m not sure how to get out
 Jun 2014 Laura Mankowski
ray
Sleep
 Jun 2014 Laura Mankowski
ray
I.
I should probably get some sleep
3am is not a time for pouring out sorrows onto paper
The morning is too young and the stars too bright

II.
I should be dreaming of
blue eyes and summer nights
Instead I am writing of old heartbreaks
and drowning in my fifth cup of coffee

III.
My mother reckons I should get some sleep
When she finds me in the morning
Lights on, slumbering into the warm keyboard
And grocery bags under my eyes
Big enough that I stumble trying to lift them

IV.
I should probably get some sleep
When my thoughts start to get obscene
And I am dialing numbers that I shouldn’t be
But sometimes I find it difficult
To lie down in a peaceful rest
When I don’t know if there’s anything worth waking up to
I shouldn't drink this much

and I was so certain
I felt so sure

I thought you could see me
I thought you could actually understand

I felt you
I really did

You looked into my eyes and I looked
into
Y O U

I felt your heart

I saw your dreams

your aspirations

And there is nothing

not a thing

I want more,
than the privilege of your smile

the charity of your time

I was so sure
so convinced

and here I am near tears
completely unable
to forgive myself

here I am
here I am
and you are so
far away

here I am
hear me
listen

I've ruined myself

i'm rubble for you, dear

my eyes burn
A life spurned

I will never be the same

never again, never again

Despite the effort,
&
attention

Alleyways &the;
Obscure,
you're as close to home as ever

but
a miscommunication
is all I'll ever be
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