im sitting here
on a computer
writing something trying to impress other people
but all im doing is wasting time
instead i could be working
could be finding a cure for cancer
but instead im wasting time
writing on a website
where my works
not even the decent ones will get published
wasting my time
and yours
and even more as you continue to read

Love is but the **** of two minds, yet what is joy?
Joy is but the  slaughter of pain which is the reality
Life and death remain the duality but the contraction and the most real delusion all shall know
beyond logic is chaos but chaos is simply defused logic
Stare aimlessly into the nothing that is you and the nothing that is I
We are both the same person I am to you as you are to I
He is to she what she is to he
Our concepts are but smoke in the wind and signify nothing
Bloodshed is our purest form of expression a brutal honesty which is the only real part of our nature
but what is artifical?
The art of ignorance is the most difficult course to master taking generations to achieve
Intellect is the pillow that smothers you as a new born baby in your crib
All who want you hate you and all that Hate you love you with all the kindness in the world
Your weak and made to be destroyed but that is the greatest mercy all shall know
Decay further into nothing your true state and put behind the delusion of all that is knoweldge
You are nothing as am I
Nothing is everything even the flicker of a dying flame carried upon angels wings
A lucky bullet strikes the world at exactly midnight and all that is will be no more but a lingering shadow in a universe that doesn't exist
Every second that passes until the fatal blow is an eternity in the eyes of us mortals
What is mankind but a collection of bactieria inside of an amphibians pupil

monday @ 2.30 a.m*
my eyes are bloodshot and my words are slurred.

tuesday @ 4.50 p.m
do you remember how our bodies used to fit whenever we slept?

wednesday @ 8.00 p.m
I was so close to calling you, but the thought of actually having to tell you how I feel terrifies the **** outta me.

thursday @ 12.37 a.m
you just texted me back and I don't know the words to say to make you stay.

friday @ 11.05 p.m
i could've seen you tonight but instead im sitting in bed crying over the stupid things you once said.

saturday @ 1:25 p.m
i think it's time i forgot you...

sunday @ 6:37 a.m
i can't forget you...no matter what i do. i can't my mind off of you. it's sad, but true

You've done it again // made me feel like this was the // beginning // when really it was just the // end // I've done it again // cried // over the things that youve said // that are  constantly breaking my heart

I wan to fall madly and deeply in love with you... I want to wake up next to you, long before you do. Just so that I cant watch you wake up to the world. I want to claim you when we go out into public. Scream at the top of my lungs, "THIS HUMAN BEING IS MY LOVE AND YOU CANNOT HAVE HIM!" I want to fight over who ate the last of our favorite box of cereal. Claim up and down that you had the last bowl, even though it was I who finished the box and just forgot that I had. I want to walk our dogs together. I want to sit on the window seat with your arms cradling me. We'll be watching a Summer's storm or a Winter's storm, or a Spring storm or even a Autumn storm; only because you know how much I love to do that. I want to read my favorite poem to you over and over in the dead of night. You'll know it so well, that you will randomly whisper it to me while I sleep. I want to take baths with you and showers too. Honestly, I just want to be held by you. I want to stay up until the next morning talking to you about nothing and everything in between. I want to tell you my fears. Tell you why I am the way that I am. I want to be the shoulder that you lean your head on when you're too tired from a long day at work, or when life has just gotten to be too much. I want to be the person that you call first with good news and bad news too. Sweetheart, know that you are all those things for me. I want to wake up from a nightmare, to find the best dream lying next to me, waiting for me to indulge in its sweetness. I  want to go on adventures with you. Travel the world with you. Sing songs about you. Scream songs at you. Get drunk and have hot, wasted *** with you, and only you. I want to visit your favorite place in the world and find the meaning of why it is held so dearly to your heart. I want that place to be our place. So that we can always have somewhere that is just ours. I want the world with you. I even want children with you. I want a house with you. I want bad fights, that leads to sweet apologizes and make-up *** on the floor. I want my life with you, and the next one, and the one after that. I want everything I can't have and everything that I can, but only if I am with you.