I try and try
to change my
inevitable doom;
but it's all
for naught.

I try and try
to keep loving,
but the passion
soon leaves and
I'm left loveless.

I try, I swear, I try,
to hold onto my love,
but soon I find myself
growing bored of them.

I've gone through a lot
of them: the good, the sweet,
the bad, the funny, the shy,
the smart - many!

But soon I find myself
growing so, so bored
of them. I never cheat,
never flirt, never do
anything bad that could
break the relationship.

But then there's the catch -
be the good girl, but in return,
become unloving; never
fall in love, no matter how
hard you try to love.

I try, I honestly do,
but when I'm in a
relationship, a month or
so later, I find myself
bored and frustrated with
the poor victim.

I'm just a heartbreaker who
kills her victims on the inside.

I don't mean to, but I do.

I just can't love.

Why,

Why am I so loveless?

Love is but the **** of two minds, yet what is joy?
Joy is but the  slaughter of pain which is the reality
Life and death remain the duality but the contraction and the most real delusion all shall know
beyond logic is chaos but chaos is simply defused logic
Stare aimlessly into the nothing that is you and the nothing that is I
We are both the same person I am to you as you are to I
He is to she what she is to he
Our concepts are but smoke in the wind and signify nothing
Bloodshed is our purest form of expression a brutal honesty which is the only real part of our nature
but what is artifical?
The art of ignorance is the most difficult course to master taking generations to achieve
Intellect is the pillow that smothers you as a new born baby in your crib
All who want you hate you and all that Hate you love you with all the kindness in the world
Your weak and made to be destroyed but that is the greatest mercy all shall know
Decay further into nothing your true state and put behind the delusion of all that is knoweldge
You are nothing as am I
Nothing is everything even the flicker of a dying flame carried upon angels wings
A lucky bullet strikes the world at exactly midnight and all that is will be no more but a lingering shadow in a universe that doesn't exist
Every second that passes until the fatal blow is an eternity in the eyes of us mortals
What is mankind but a collection of bactieria inside of an amphibians pupil

I've been up for a while,
    my pill wore off around quarter till you.
And I stayed up until the time changed to half past
    your morning stretch.
But then I fell asleep for a little bit and the last thing I saw
    was your bright eyes shinning into my bedroom.
I'm up again and I'm not
    sure what the time currently is,
but I know that I've lost you.

A love lost from my heart tears dehydrated
My chin loose from quivering as i weep into my blanket
with no love No hope and no reason to continue
I weep
as tears stream down i remember how life
Was so simple and easy as a child
With no worries other than ** wto please mommy
I miss the times when i did not know hate
Death hunger misery sorrow and love
I miss the times when tears didnt stream down

Must I remember?
The scent of your hair
The shampoo's we share
Life is so unfair

Must I remember?
For the couple shirts we bought
It's embarassing,
we first thought
But we wore it everyday,
for the sake of our plot

Must I remember?
Those seductive eyes?
It got me mesmerized
Like the morning sunrise

Must I remember?
This unskippable beat?
As we rode the street
With your lips on my cheek

Must I remember?
As we walk by the shore
It tickles my core
For the "I Love You" that you swore

Must I remember?
For the dreams that we share?
In the meadows we stare
When you embrace me, I can tell

Must I remember?
When I took the toll?
My tears began to fall
For you are my wall

Must I remember?
The moment you say yes?
For the love I express
I was heavily blessed

Must I remember?
The day you said Goodnight?
As you began your flight
An unforgettable sight

Must I remember it all?
As I stand by your grave?
You wanted me to be brave
But I'm forever a slave
To our love which we engrave

                                                        ­                        *Must I forget you then?

                              Theses memories, are they a burden?

With you now gone, It's all a sudden


                                                       ­         What about these wedding ring?

                                                         ­ I cry eveytime I sing,

                          Your favorite melody

It feeds my anxiety



Now I look upon the sky

                                  I can never comply

                                                      As I invoke my tragic loss

                                                          ­                  *For the Love Without Us