My nervous heart thumps and nearly leaps out of my shaking chest and
Tremors can just keep continuing on forever enough to the point
Where it cannot be made into something beautiful and precious and the tears
Come in the wrong **** place and there's no where to hide
Can I hug my knees?
Because we're all stupidly pitted against each other, we always have been
Since the beginning of time
Curiosity may be what killed the cat
But anxiety brought it back to its miserable life

The feeling of the pencil in my hand scratching against paper wasn't familiar but i liked it

The pencil accidentally stabs a cut into the skin of my hand and i cry out in pain

I can feel the pencil rolling away from my hand and the paper

I squeeze the skin together, trying to close up the scratch

Funny how quickly life can change in an instant

On my nose
I want someone to love me
Despite how broken I am
Someone i can kiss
Love
Pine
Be sad
But so so so happy about
Someone who knows when i need validation
Or when I'm hurt

Maybe I'm living in monochrome
Because all I meet rarely possess the gift to fulfill my romantic imagination
And I am unsatisfied
Yet I have to hold on

Because there is hope
If I try
Maybe he or she won't be perfect
And they won't
But what will feel perfect is them and I

stare at me like you normally do

as i shave clouds and silver linings from my sleep

glare at me, and i'll glare too

as you tear my heart and hopes, as i weep

no use of me crying

so you can keep lying

but when i look into your eyes

we both know your words aren't lies

hours spent, you crying on my shoulder

but when i cry back, you're suddenly colder

i would ask what's wrong

but you tell me already

it's been way too long

since you made me unsteady

i guess there's something to hate

even though i thought it was great

my confidence is destroyed

because you seemed annoyed

you know i am breakable

and you tear that down

tell me i'm not capable

then ask why i frown

what should i do?

i'm not that tough

should i hate you?

or me, because i'm not enough

brilliant
the fluorescent light reflects off of my glass hands
shimmering
your glowing personage dims my tiny lamp
marvelous
my pale yellow light could never begin to compare
sparkling
you are the sun, outshining every planet and star
beautiful
you deserve the world, but I can only give you the moon
incomparable

As long as memories continue to stretch
I never wanted to exist
I liked being apart of the bland background
I liked the quiet peace of inattention
I liked the tranquility of not being noticed
I never allowed anyone to see who I was
Was I afraid?
I may have been
But in the end
It does not matter
You made me want to be seen
You made me want to be noticed
You made me want to exist
It is simple to explain
And I know
I could never blame you for feeling this way
I know
You are the fondest image in my mind
But it hurts
Being someone that used to feel so
Loved and cared for
Now being accused
Of dwelling on your distant gaze
And your cold presence
And however highly I think of you
I cannot make up the absence of your heart

a moonlit path wasn't easy to see
the gentle steps were a coincidence
it smelled of alcohol and danger
footsteps continue to trail on
the alcohol wasn't burning nor blinding
more like a simple wine
bittersweet to taste
the danger was the kind that saved one's life
and no one could mistake
the cool night air
enfolding and protecting, this evening truly was
there was a reason
the night gave me a reason
as for the eve's very own dim light
the sun will always come back up in the morning

I'm done with you
I'm just going to ******* write
without thinking about
anyone
or anything
because my heart is fed up with hearing
all your music
and playing all your games
I'm sick of the tricks society gives me
because I want to be left alone
I'm done with you
I want to love
without overthinking
about a **** text message
I want to have fun
without worrying
that my body is too small
but the knot in my stomach
is never dying
I don't think it's going away
and the world ******* *****
for keeping it there
I'm done with you

The raging waters inside were too much,
Black waves crashing at every shoreline
The scared girl has yet to stop it and such,
The stormy clouds would not let the sun shine

She’s pacing and pacing over again,
The noise is just too loud and way too bright
The rocks on the sand will hopefully mend,
She can see some boulders right in her sight

The girl lets the rocks tumble onto her skin,
They pierce her, and she bleeds on this dark day
She stares at her beautiful, wounded sin,
It’s broken, but there is no other way

There are scars, but there are no more noises,
It takes some pain to silence the voices

the glinting, shimmering bottles on the shelf seem to be glaring at me
their penetrating stares create a twisted knot of guilt in my stomach
my friends come over, asking and asking for the invisible secrets in the clear glass
I deny their knowledge, another layer of guilt befouling me
a few of them have watched me unscrew my bottles
and they ran from me, as far as they possibly could
but one day,
he comes over to my house
my house with my shelf of glass bottles and quiet old me
he isn't interested in me or my bottles
but I am intrigued by his innovative, analytical presence
so loud and harsh are the colors surrounding him
but they are hiding something, I am sure of it
and suddenly,
a bottle falls out of his aura of light
he reaches down to pick it up hastily,
and looks at me, for my hand is on his fallen bottle
he looks at me with those secretive, manic eyes,
and then looks at the bottles on my shelf
he picks one out, and I let him open it,
for I am gently unscrewing his glass
the secrets fly out of both shining bottles
and enter the jars of our mind
I look at his face, which mirrors my own
the intensity of our understanding gazes is why I place my hand on his
and neither of us run away