You forget that you're good.
You forget that you're kind, and gentle and caring.
People have been so callous with you that you forget that you are not the sum of their mistakes,
and you are not to blame for the damage that was done to you.
You forget.
You forget that you are full of  good intent, that you're thoughtful and creative.
You're so used to being made to feel stupid and selfish that when someone brings out the beauty in you,
all you feel is guilt.
You have a heart of gold.
You would never do to people what they have done to you.
There is a light in you that remains bright even with the layers of charcoal that surround it.
Don't forget.
**Don't forget that you're good.

it comes in flashes
bright, red-hot
you feel it take over and if you feel it fast enough,
you can destroy everything in your path within moments
you spew words like venom and leave scars without thinking twice
and when it's over and done with,
you hate yourself for it.
this is what anger is,
this is how you have made cynics out of every person that's ever loved you.

it only took one week for you to re-light the candle,
and it only took me six words to set afire
(i'm so sorry i ****** up)
you were reckless with heat and i was so easily flammable and ******* for coming back when you did

there's always been a whole lot of grey between us
it wasn't black and white from the start
i was always making exceptions and you were always doing the wrong thing,
but making it seem so right

it feels like the butterflies in my stomach have turned into bees
stinging and buzzing whenever we talk and
im far past the school-girl crush, with sweaty palms and shy giggles
my hands are shaky and there's a lump in my throat because this isn't romance anymore,
this is red eyes and fractured ribs.

you keep referring to her as "a mistake"
but i keep hearing you say "i want her back"
and i wish you knew that the more you try to disguise your anger as indifference,
the more apparent it is that you wish things were different.

i will always be the altarboy,
i will always wait for you on hands and feet.
i will never be enough for you.
*i will never be enough for you

If you give a girl a with a big heart your broken pieces,
she will gently pick them up and carry them in her soft hands,
and pay no mind to your sharp edges.
She will try to glue you back together
and she’ll do it in a way that made you forget you were ever broken.
With scratched finger tips and ****** palms,
she’ll lift you up to the sun,
letting it's blinding rays shine through you
to show you that even the worst things have things to love in them
and that even the shattered can again be whole.

If you give a girl with a big heart your body,
she will study you like an archaic God.
She will learn your curves and surfaces like braille,
she will adjust her hearing to the pitch of your laughter
so that no matter how far apart you become,
her ears will perk up like a dog's when you giggle,
and she will smile, knowing that you smile.

If you give a girl with a big heart your time,
she will make each second feel like infinity,
and each sunset like the end of the world.
You'll forget that the universe is as vast and wondrous as it is,
because you will be so captivated by the light that she emits
right where she sits,
by your side.

And if you take from a girl with a big heart,
please,
for the love of God,
do not take it all.

If you take from a girl with a big heart,
please remember that her love is not a renewable resource.
The wind and the sun and the water will forever be there to serve you but
she will run dry, and become another fact of history that will one day be forgotten.

If you take from a girl with a big heart,
please remember how sharp your edges were before her,
how lifeless your body was before she touched it,
and how meaningless time was before she made it into something magical.

Days like today,
make it hard,
hard to stay on track,
so hard to keep on moving
and hard to not look back.

Days like today remind me,
that only I'm to blame,
For all of the mistakes I've made,
creating all this shame!

This day it only makes me re-gret,
some things I have done,
Pretending I'm the person that,
I'm trying to become!

Fooling those around me and,
convincing them a lie.
These aren't my true intentions,
but some things I still do hide.

I dream the day that I am changed,
and do not have to run,
or pretend that I am someone else,
and foolish me is done!

It's pride I want in knowing that,
I'm loved for being me,
not judged in my confusion or
accused in some degree.

If I could start this life again,
the chance I'd pass it by.
I know not much would really change,
no point to even try.

If I could cut away right now,
this ugly part from me,
the part that hurts us all the most,
that no one else can see,

To cut my human nature out,
to stop all of the pain,
I'd only hand the knife to you,
cause I've caused you the same!

The only problem with colliding in love, is the down ward spiral from the heights above.

The only problem with that first long kiss, are all the others later that seem to have been missed.

The only problem with taking that chance, is gaining all the baggage of a faulty romance.

The only problem with colliding in love, is you're crashing two lives and expecting no blood.

The only problem with that first long kiss, is the thought it's self sustainable with a byproduct of bliss.

The only problem with taking that chance, is gambling in that moment betting all upon a glance.