I need to not get my hopes up.
I need to not get my hopes up and I need to not get attached to him.
I need to not get attached to him and I need to give up.
I need to give up because he won't like me.
He won't like me because I am honestly not good enough.
I am honestly not good enough and I need to accept that.

**I need to accept this.

the sequel
is never as good as the original

but i'll still pay eight bucks
and sit in a dark room
that smells like ***
with strangers
eating burnt popcorn

to watch you for ninety two minutes

I used to think
The only way to not be
Scared of monsters was to become one

So I *did

Must my heart thirst for hunger?
This naked pain is my existence.
Every memory of you is becoming vague.
and, a monster I have become.

Throw me into the sea of melancholy.
Let me drown with this depression.
Color me with your favorite color,
And gray I will become.

These screams of my heart cannot be heard.
But this twinkling night is my escape.

Slowly, I am dancing in a burning forest.
This vibration called sorrow is approaching.

I am afraid, you will taste the cigarette in my mouth once we collide.

Forgive me,
For I was trying to avoid my pen.
But this thoughts of you will be the death of me.

Never have I felt so lonesome tonight.
Like a fallen prince, stranded in a desert.

I have worn this mask for so long.
Feast your beautiful eyes, as I rot away.

Come morning light,
Embrace me with great euphoria.
Save me from this agony.

The smashed ribs, the swollen legs
The state of heart every time the ground shakes
The endless tears, the unflattering fears
The subdued feelings, the impotent states
and I realize how helpless I am
As everything vanished within seconds

The cracked hopes, the buried dreams
The unbearable truths, the painful screams
The broken fantasies, the shattered desires
The situation where no one admires
Tried to stop, I tired to evade
Then I realize how helpless I am
as everything vanished within seconds