why do you continue to check up on me
the constant opening of closed doors
silent messages left for me to decipher

why do you haunt me like this
creeping up on me during twilight hours
your grasp tight on me as darkness settles
the moon illuminating my silent bedroom

after we locked the doors the first time
why didn't you stay gone
you should've stayed gone

you cannot erase me or my existence, despite how hard you try. so, drink until you think you've forgotten my name.. or at least the sound of my voice. erase those 2am text messages declaring how much you loved me. delete those pictures of poems that i wrote for you. do as you please but whether you like or not, i am a part of your story. a scar in the back of your mind, a bleach stain in the depths of your heart.

ghosts keep knocking at the back door
tapping on windows
carving past mistakes into the floorboards

you see, ghosts are stuck in a melancholic haze
blind to the growth of a person
only seeing them in negative ways

so rather than allowing them to make a home in your chest
realize it is not you with a problem
it's their inability to give it a rest

my hand reaches across the sheets for you
and rather than pulling you close
i am left with a handful of emptiness,
the other half of my bed left ice cold
instead of harboring your warm body
yet, from miles and miles away
you're able to leave me speechless,
breathless even
so i will hug your pillow closer tonight
breathing in what's left of your cologne
until you return home

the ghosts are back again
constantly knocking at the front door
begging to be let in
they say they miss me and my tired eyes
my tear stained eyes
my heartbroken eyes
they say they want to move back in
to make a home inside of my chest
they say they will keep me warm
keep me from being alone
they plead with me to unlock the door
so we can be together once more
but i will listen to the constant knocking
allowing it to lull me to sleep
for a new day will rise and the ghosts will sink away
and i will be happy

and i wonder if your heart throbs like mine does
if you have a dull ache in your chest like i do
if your ribs are splintered
if the butterflies are gone
i wonder if you hurt like i hurt
because i haven't felt 'normal' since you left
i don't think my heart will ever beat the same

my world hasn't stopped spinning since you left
diagnosed with vertigo
a constant whirl of hazel eyes
a monotone voice on replay
a skipping record in my head
unsure of which direction i'm going
one second i'm next to you in bed
wrapped in white sheets
your breath hot against the back of my neck
and the next
i'm surrounded by darkness
i turn for you and
i sink deeper into this empty bed
love becoming a word covered in dust
i am covered in dust
trapped in the memories of yesterday
trapped in my own head
constantly spinning