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Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Sharp golden eyes
Peer from the trees
Soft rhythmic purr
Summons me
Interest peeked
A calling
Of hope
Hello?
Don't leave
I will walk among you
Sisters
I will travel the soil path
Up the hills
Past the clearing
To the cave
That seems to ward away
All the evil
Her long body
Slouches into the mouth
Golden eyes
Lighting the way
My bare feet
Against the cold stone
I grip my arms
Where do you take me
Madre De Los Gatos?
Where do you lead
Beautiful Pantera
I see
You show me my path
I will walk straight
Among you my sister
Thank you
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
There in the sky was a flashing light
Majestic to the eye
It was a beautiful sight

Sailing across the moons aura
Dipping past the sun
It was a sight to be seen
Though it was seen by none

Not a soul but mine
Had seen the proof
Not a soul but mine
New the truth

Around Saturns ring
And into the stars *****
The light would sing
Into my ear  

It was my secret to bare
It was my breath is save
It was under moonlights glare
That I'd take it to the grave

And to this day
I still don't know
That lights name
Or why it came
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2013
The sunlight of the fading day melted
Breaking off into a starry sky
Sometimes I wish I could disappear
Into nothing but the stars
So bright and beautiful
So beautiful
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2013
Broken castle a top a lonely hill
Every board is aging, rotted and frayed
The remains of frail memories will spill
Onto the dirt ground, once flourished I layed
The lights all flicker on and come to life
And the chandelier rises from the floor
The tune I danced with, when I was your wife
Dancing to the beat, open ballroom doors!
Theres a dark pulse of magic in the air
The years fall off my shoulders, I'm alive
I can picture you again standing there
I have been shocked so suddenly revived
And to take my last shaking dying breath
I can open my arms to you, and death
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2014
You there with that sad smile
with those angry emerald eyes
your heart is bleeding on the carpet
so full of the misery you deny

You there with the gentle touch
with those crystals in your veins
you talk tough but don't hit hard
you're just drowning in your pain

You there with those jagged edges
with those loose pieces of you
in those shattered frames, those broken pictures
left from when you were you
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
All alone with you inside my mind
Calling out your name a hundred times
Somedays I feel so broken inside
To think that once our heart were intertwined
But love was a lie,  and now that I've died
And to think that you were mine
Was a foolish thought
Because you were not
Gods not there
He doesn't hear
My prayer
Everyday becomes gray
So why pray
If you tell me god is a figment of my imagination
Another's creation
Mind of a Pyhscopathic deprivation
Trees in my eyes
Stars hear my lies
I sacrifice
Myself
Sunset of a kind
A chance to unwind
And just breath
Why do I dine
On my own
I am not fine
I am completely alone
Mind of a Pyhscopathic deprivation
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2014
Take whats left of me
Take it and throw it away
The filth that stains my heart
Scrub me clean

Take my remains
and make me new
The dark is hungry
Calling my name

And then there's the mirrors
Filled withe regret
It's unfair
I think

Staring at something without
Meaning
Something that just withers
Something that dies

Death is just a reminder
That we're all limited
With expiration date
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2020
I put up curtains
So the sun couldn’t seep in
To hide the fact
That my pain was slowly leakin
Bleeding out
Felt like I had nothin to believe in
Opened up
And got kicked in the teeth when
I only had love
But soon jealousy would sneak in
We tried to front
But our hearts were only seekin
Custody of love in its entirety
And not just on the weekends  

And though we had it
It was laced with irony
Because love will slowly morph
Into a monster that tries to swallow me
And it’s not under the bed
Like they say in the movies
This **** lives in my head
And tries to control me
Like a puppet to its master
I feel strings at my throat
Because my emotions are always faster
Than I can cut the ropes

I’m a hopeless romantic too
In this wicked wild game
Which makes it hard for me to part ways with you
Because I feel this overwhelming shame

Because I’m mostly hopeless
When it comes to love affairs
Let the romantic slip my grip
When I feel like you don’t care

All I want is to know you love me
And to always prove I love you too
Because if you’re my reckless decision
I’ll always continue to choose you

Like a drug
You’re my strange addiction
I’m in constant need of you
A prisoner to loves conviction
Too blind to see the truth
That I’m not that wise
I’m infected by my youth
But I have to survive
And what else can I do?
But fight to stay high
And keep acting aloof

Here’s the proof

I once said ignorance is bliss
Until I learned the hardest lesson
That There’s love in every kiss
You can save the vague confessions
And there it is again
It’s slowly creepin in
The jealousy that takes my words
And slides out from my pen

I suppose thats my fatal flaw
Which adds development to the character
So I should be real evolved
Because I’m full of flaws and failure

Yet I try to give my all
In everything I do
But I always hit a wall
Wandering Far into the blue  
Lost Looking at the stars
To tell me what to do

It’s the only place that ever feels  like home
I Can look up at the sky at night
And not feel so alone
So i wonder if the constellations
Can give me a consolidation
On the humiliation,
of my constant reconciliation
With my own temptation
Think I love living in damnation

I’m never patient

Remember I said emotions rule my world
twisting and turning my thoughts
Watch them twirl
Might give em a whirl
While they swirl
Out of my brain
In the form of rambling words
Maniac is the strain
Roll it up and lick the wrap
Spark it up and smoke that


Expand and deflate
My lungs are irate
Might choke up on the sentiment
And start to suffocate
Cause thoughts can be killers
They’ll cut the brakes too
When your mind is going 100
And there’s nothing you can do
Heading straight into traffic
Your heart will start to race
And you quickly start to panic
Now it’s terror on your face

Hear the glass around you shatter
Feel it digging deep within
Now the thoughts that never mattered
Are carved into your skin

Tear drops turn to Whiskey
They fall so fast these days
Please tell me that you miss me
To help and ease the pain
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
They library was hushed
The faceless man
Across the table
Quite
He tells me
Stay silent
You wouldn't want your mommy to hear
Would you?
So naive
A child could be
I close the book
My attention caught by the closet
Small footsteps
Cautiously taken
Afraid to be caught
Palm on the door ****
I open it
Inside lies a beast
I'm petrified
Scared to blink
But the beast slumbers
On a burning photo
What are you doing!
The faceless man yells
And now I'm terrified
He's been awaken
The beast won't let me go
I've made him angry now
Only my screams echoing
Through the quite library
To keep me company
A reoccurring dream I've had since I was a child
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2013
The nights turned black
the moon is dead,
The shadows rise,
come for your head,
don't scream,
they'll only smile,
don't make a sound,
they're coming
close your eyes
nevermore will they see
plug your ears
nevermore will they hear,
hold your breath
nevermore will they breathe
oh...
these monsters are me
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Death was not unfamilar to me. I'd killed my share of things classified as monsters. I wasn't complaining really, my job kept the humans safe. I just felt guilty, I was practically a monster myself. They call us Warriors of the night, we're not Vampires, we are born with extra strenght and a long life span. I was born a long time ago, I was raised to **** monsters that terrorize the human race. Since I was six, I'd been trained to ****. I was a killing machine, best of my kind. Yet somehow, even though what I do is considered an honor, I don't feel proud. I've been doing my job much to long, and lately I'd began getting sloppy with my work. God knows Rowan would be one ****** of boss if he heard about me letting the group of baby Werewolves. I wasn't a complete heartless ******* to **** a bunch of babies.
    I might've been two years ago, before the whole incident happened. I layed my head in my hands, I couldn't go there, not now. I needed a clear head. My small apartment in Master Singu's house was getting messy. I hadn't had time to clean lately with all of the monster attacks that had been popping up lately. Ghouls, Goblins, Oni, Ogre, you name it and it's been attacking. Wasn't much we could do with the Banshee, they were more of a signifier then a monster. A signifier of death, and usually they gave me a heads up if the person who's house it's been surrounding, is gonna die. Banshee were cruel looking creatures, never gotten to close to one, they make **** sure of that. Not sure I ever want to. They were ruled by the one and only, Death. And i will gladly stay as far from death as possible. Haven't heard too many good things about him. Death is one of the Four horsemen. Scariest ******* in the underworld, and I would gladly never meet any of deaths brothers or sisters, what ever the gender their welcome to stay away. There was a soft knock on my door, io glanced at the clock on the wall, it was already three. Warriors worked night shift basically, since thats the time most monsters like to come out.
    The victorian styled door was a black cherry carved wood, with a ancient symbols carved in so no evil spirit couls cross into my apartment, so I wasnt worried any monster was at my door. But I was suprised to see Cameron when I opened the door. Cameron and I used to work the nights together until he'd gone off and gotten married to Sylvia, who was a vampire. Vampires were only considered monsters when they didnt follow the rules. No feeding off of unwilling people, only donors, and they couldnt go around killing people. Their biggest rule though was not to tell any human what they were, Warriors like me had a lot of people to execute.
   "Cameron, never thought I'd see you around here anymore," just as I was talking to him I realized, Cameron looked scared and desperate. Unlike someone who spent his life killing evil monsters that were twice the size of him. " What's wrong Cameron?" He shook his head and walked past me, through the door and into the living room. "It's Sylvia, Theon please help me," Camerons voice was going all thick and his eye's all watery. This was deffinetly something bad. " Tell me, what has happened with Sylvia?" I needed Cameron in his most focused form to help me out, but as I looked at the shaking man I knew he was beyond that. " You remember the king vampire we took down to save Sylvia?" Cameron said quitely, but I knew instantly what vampire he was talking about. That vampire had killed Abelia. I quickly swept that from my mind and focused back on Cameron. " Yes I remember, "  I had no idea where Cameron was going with this. " You remember his brother than, the one that got away, he said that we would both pay. He, ah, made you pay that day. I never thought that he would carry out with his threat. He kidnapped Sylvia, and Sylvia is pregnant, " Cameron almost lost it right there.
    I never thought that, pip squeak of a vampire had it in him, but he was smart and possesed powers we hadn't known about until we had come across them. Their king that we had slayed, had been capturing girls of all species and abusing them in such barbaric ways.
We had to put an end to his affairs, and we did but his brother wasn't too happy about it. He'd done one of his tricks and manifested behind Abelia and snapped her neck. Everything for me had stopped, all I could hear was the blood in my veins. I didn't breath, I could still remember the deafining roar I had unleashed as my monster had gripped me, took the reins and killed all of the mans servants.
Blood had bathed the walls that night, not even the crickets dared to sing. The sun rose late that morning, and I sat inside this very apartment, on that very couch, and cried. For the very first time, I had cried until my eye's swelled shut, until my throat could bare no more. Until I passed out.
    "We'll get them back Cameron, don't worry. For now get some rest, we'll start investigating later tonight, I have meeting to attend," I was going to **** that ******* when I found him. He had taken my only love from me, and he would pay this time, I would make that absoultely certain. Cameron nodded and headed for the door. It was a long way back to his house, and he crossed quite a few bridges. I didn't want him making any bad decisions, " Cameron you can crash here, I have a guest room your welcome here man," I say casually so he doesn't get all prideful. He stops and looks at me for a moment then nods " Yeah, thanks man, and also thank you for agreeing to help me on this I know it's a bit of a touchy subject for you, just know i appreciate it." He made his way down the hall, I listened for the soft click of the door shuting before i went to leave.
    I grabbed my coat, and the keys to my Ducatti and ducked out the door. The hallway was long and at the end of it was two flights of srairs, I lived on the third floor. My motorcycle was parked right were I left it, it was a beauty. Black and red sleek metal and nice leather seats. I loved the bike so much I had named her Racer. I loved to drive fast, and so did she. I tore off out of the parking lot and listened to the purr of her engine on the way to Rowan's , my boss, office. It wasnt to far, but I wasn't in a rush either so i took the long road just to stall. I knew Rowan planned on giving me a partner. Probably some ****** that didnt know his way around a swiss army blade, let alone a sword. Warriors didnt use guns unless absoultely necessary. I loved the feel of my sword slicing through the air. I didn't, however, enjoy the noisy bang of a gun. A sword was like another limb, you have to trust it to take you were you need to go.
    Rowan's office light was on, and I could make out the form of three bodies. Great, I knew it, Rowan was going to assign me a partner.
I hated partners, the only one I'd ever slightly enjoyed had been Cameron. I got off my bike, patted the seat for good luck, and made my way into Rowans office. When I pulled open the door I was ready to yell at Rowan for even thinking of giving me a partner, instead i dropped my hand off the doorknob. " *******," was all I coluld say. I was stunned to silence.
To be continued! Hope I left you wanting to know more!
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Nothing could've prepared me for the geared up beauty on the other side of the door. " Oh good, Theon you finally decided to show up. Now before you start yelling about how you don't need a partner, I'd like you to meet Quorra. She just transferred from another guild for some personal reasons, and she's very excited to become partners," Rowan was talking but I couldn't take my eyes from her.
     She was absolutely beautiful. Long, sleek black hair with red tips, full pink lips. And haunting green eyes. This partnership was going to **** me.
No way could I consentrate on killing monsters while she was in action. I could just imagine how her hair would spin as she swung a sword. Realizing she'd been talking to me I decided I should probably stop drooling like a twelve year old boy, and listen.
    " When they told me I could be partnered with Theon the great legend I was shocked as much as I was ecstatic . I'm sorry if I sound lame but I grew up hearing stories about you," Quorra's smile was so wide I was surprised her face hadn't cracked.
"Ah yes, I'm not quite as exciting as the stories convey," I was doing my best to look her in the eye. I wasn't the social butterfly that I used to be.
Maybe it was my growing age, while my physical appearance didn't look a year older than twenty five, my soul grew old with the battle wounds acquired by many years of this life. I was a soldier in need of a break but would no doubt be drafted as soon as my feet hit fresh soil. Abelia was the one who loved being surronded by people, I would let her drag me to her dinners and social outings but she was the one who enjoyed them. I only enjoyed seeing her happy. Her eyes used to twinkle with excitement.
   I averted my eyes, in fear Quorra might pick up on my suppressed emotions. " Hardly believable," she smiled softly. Rowan lounged against the wall with a mocking smirk on his face. When Quorra turned her back to me to sift through her bag I flicked Rowan off, not just for that look on his face, but for the future hell I was about to endure.
    Rowan then decided to drop the biggest bomb on me then, while I was already suffering.
"By the way, Theon, Quorra is going to need a place to stay. And since you have that giant apartment all to yourself , I told her she could stay at your place. Is that cool?" even though he put it as a question , there was only one answer he would take. " Ah, ya sure," I said quickly, wishing I could run out the door and not come back.  Rowan took pleasure in my obvious displeasure.
"Thank you Theon, it's only temporar. Untill I get my own place, then I'll be out of your hair ," Quorra said smiling at me tenitivly, looks like I wasn't the only one feeling uncomfortable.
     Grabbing her bag that sat by the door, I turned to go outside. " I have a car that you can put that in, ah , do you need a ride?" Quorra stammered out quickly. It was amazing how fast things could get awkward. "No, you can follow me to the apartment, it's not far from here, " I said briskly .
Outside I noticed a black SUV parked in the darkest corner of the parking lot. Smart, I hadn't noticed the car going in.  She clicked a button that was on her keychain and the lights on the car flickered. "Is the motorcycle yours?" she asked going to the back of the car to pop open the door .
"Yeah, she's mine," I replied loading her bag into the back. She didn't have much on her. So either she came in a hurry , or she didn't keep much on her.  Rowan had said she'd transferred for personal reasons. "It's beautiful, does It go fast?"
She crossed her arms and leaned against the side of the car. Great she planned on talking for a while.
     "Yeah, that's why I got her. I like to go fast it's exhilarating , the feeling," I smiled at her , and my eyes caught a change in her eyes before she looked down. I could've been mistaken but it looked as if she were blushing. " Well we might as well get going," she mumbled and opened the car door.
I chuckled to myself as I walked back to Racer.
I was going to hell, might as well have some fun before I get there.
Sorry it took me so long but here's part 2, I know the parts are really short but I think it makes it more suspenseful . Hope you like it :)
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2013
Are there monsters under the bed?
Is this the terror they shed?
Will they rip out your heart?
Tear you apart?
Or eat your flesh instead?

Are there monsters under the bed?
Is this a trap that you've been lead?  
Will they make you scream?
Or is this a dream?
Or simply crack open your head?

Are there monsters under the bed?
Or is it just us eating away
Could it be our monsters are us?
At the end of each day?
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Starry night
Stars in sight
Beneath the moon light
Eyes watery with forlorn sadness
Mirrors in the water
The small lake before me
Not quite still
My sad eyes
The key to my soul
I'm looking deep into them
What cause this pain
That has burried itself inside of me
Lowered head my brown hair curtains my face
It makes it a bit easier to look at my reflection
But whenever I dare the look
I feel angry
I hit the water with all my might!
But the water simply sloshes
Then settles back into is not quite still state
I feel like screaming
But I don't understand what's wrong
I only know that I feel disgusted with myself
I just wish that I could wash it all away
Wash away the pain the regret
My mistakes my flaws
My tears
My blood
I just want to restart
A new beginning
But my story has yet to end
I stand before the lake
And glance at the sky
Before I step into the cool water
And before I know it I'm summerged
I scream everything out
Until I run out of air
I kick to the surface
And take a deep breath
My throat already felt sore
But I could still feel the nagging anger
So I summerged myselfr again
And scream
Scream raw
Angry
Hurt
Ugly
Stupid
Not enough
So I scream more
Scream worthless
Failure
I scream until I choke
I scream until I begin to cry
Until I'm lifeless
I just lay thee out of energy
On the bank
Of the lake
Beneath the moon
And her starry eyes
I lay there and I just wish
It were all different
That I was better
That I was more
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Moonlight dancing at the top of the hills
Throught the trees the light spills
Long black dress, sleek and shimmering
Trails behind me , green eyes luminescent in the night
My hair long in swirls down my back
Hand to bark
Breath to the chill of the air
I can feel it
I was here
In another demension
One that I traveled to
I came here , I just wanted to see you
Bare feet intertwined with the grass
I dance
Dance with the silence
Dance to my heartbeat
Dance to my breathing
Hands raised to touch the sky
Dark in its slumber
Close my green eyes
And picture a wolf
Black to match the night
And a star , of white placed
Between my green eyes
And when I reopen them
I stand on four paws
I feel free in my new skin
Tall in my new fur
And I run to the song of my paws
A howl above another
Alpha to this lone wolf pack
Into the distance I'm enveloped by
Dreams crescent arms
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
A rose fires the moons
Smile, caressing the earths heart
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2013
Bam**
A gun shot a mere echo in the nearly silent field
In the small second it takes to breath war erupted,
Death in his robe made up of the afterlife taking the souls along
Crack
The earth split open and the guns were silenced
If only for a minute
Before the fingers were being ****** with angry spitting face,
Accusations being flung like bombs
Then the ground began to shake
And from the crack in the Earth a tree grew
Between them
It took every bullet every stab every word
And with each one a flower grew around the tree
To end a war fight with peace
Not my best poem but oh well
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
The morning light spilt in through the window
The birds chirped a soft melody
The curtains swayed with the breeze
And I watched the ebbing trees
Today I honor a woman I trust
A woman who gives me all
Today I honor a woman so strong
A woman who never falls
Fighting through all the blood and disaster
Fighting through all the pain
This woman fought for everything I have
And crazily she's still sane
I love you mom
Don't ever forget
That I love you with all my heart
And you fight for us even if we don't see it
And I will never forget
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2013
Stare at the evidence,
that weapon you used to **** her.
The blood that stains the carpet,
the frantic smears of tears and fear.

Does it shame you,
knowing what you've done?
Are you guilty,
of what you've become.

Head lowered, eyes cast to the floor,
walking through all of these doors.
You can't look me in the eye,
or tell me why.

But you took her life,
with a dull jagged edge knife.
Buried in her flesh over again,
as she wailed for it to end.

You slung her up and tossed her down,
sealed the deal as you watched her drown.
Dusted off your hands and turned away,
did you think about the life you decided to take?
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2013
Stare at the evidence,
that weapon you used to **** her.
The blood that stains the carpet,
the frantic smears of tears and fear.

Does it shame you,
knowing what you've done?
Are you guilty,
of what you've become.

Head lowered, eyes cast to the floor,
walking through all of these doors.
You can't look me in the eye,
or tell me why.

But you took her life,
with a dull jagged edge knife.
Buried in her flesh over again,
as she wailed for it to end.

You slung her up and tossed her down,
sealed the deal as you watched her drown.
Dusted off your hands and turned away,
did you think about the life you decided to take?
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
When I cry I have to hide
Afraid of what others might see
When I'm so vulnerable
When my walls break down
When I let go
Can't stomach that I'm only human
That I hurt that I have feelings
I only want to be numb
I'm losing my mind
I'm losing my grip
So close I might slip
Don't want to feel love
Rage is In my grip
Burning burning
Heating up
I'm dying dying
Falling out
Crying crying
I won't be fine
I'm done with rules
I don't care
I won't care
I done so done
I'm losing my sight
The walls have gone red
My heart is dead
Turn my music up loud
And walk the streets
Put away fear
I can't afford to feel
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
I have walked with this smile in place
But beneath the surface ,
I I'm burning in my hellish inferno
I'm tortured by memories
I'm tortured by the faint touch
In every corner of my mind lays a monster
I'm trapped in a house of nightmares
There's no escape ....
I can't breath when phantom hands
Are wrapped around my neck
And yet while I lay here dying
I'm forced to stay alive
And yet I Kay here crying
My tears I'm forced to hide....
I've been strong enough
My arms are growing tired
I rather let go
But I'm chained and barred down
The clouds are out if my reach
This razor blade ...
Is my only release
Pain let's me know I'm real
And that this isn't another dream
Growing up to fast
Dying to slow
The sun doesn't rise in my world
And evil never dies
I'm stuck behind the bars
Of a prison
That I am trapped
Lights are in the sky
They bid me goodbye
I am alone ...
To wave goodbye
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2013
Torn by the ***** of thorns
Surrounding my garden bed
I sleep here, and silently mourn
My soul that has been dead

I weep into my dirtied hands
Stained by the blood of my own heart
I know that no one will truly understand
The pain of which I wish to part

My tears are black just like my soul
They smear across my face
Inside I knew I'd never been whole
Used words and meaningless things in its place

This emptiness inside, will there ever be a cure?
I used to sit up at night and wonder
There was no way I could ever be sure
In all my ignorance I'd blundered

Because beyond the pain and the tears
I looked right past your face
You where standing there defeating my fears
And it was you who would fill that place

I owe my heart to you
My angle
I owe my life to you too
Because in the end it was your love that filled
My empty soul in the end
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
First time I saw her,
Jealousy,
Didn't see her along time after that,
Next time I saw her,
Admiration,
She and I became close,
Now if I lost her I don't know where
I'd be,
Only person I can say anything to,
Only person who listens,
Only person who I can be myself,
She's my best friend
To Sydney, because you are my number one best friend :)
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2013
I placed my heart inside a box of steel
so that I would never feel.
I locked up all the chains,
so that I wouldn't feel pain.

I broke the key,
so no one could get to me.
I hid it deep inside,
where no one would find.

But you hold the map to my heart,
and the key that broke it open.
I should've known
I wouldn't be left alone.
It's been so long! I'm feeling so much better since I last posted on here. I've been writing more on a website called Wattpad, I'm absoultely in love with that website! If you want to read any of my work on there than heres the link > http://www.wattpad.com/user/TouchingMoons
Have a great day!:)
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
I gave everything I had and you just let it all blow away in the wind,
like nothing had ever crossed our once star struck paths, I was struck in the heart,
That blow should've killed me,
I shouldve drowned in the open sea
But you resuscitated me
I would have died you see
I can't look in your eyes
I know that's  were my heart once lied, ,
I begged for you to be,
One hundred percent true to me
But you couldn't be
You hurt me
Left me bleeding into the ground
So lucifers hungry souls could feast
You were an evil beast
I miss the warmth and peace

Do you remember the melody
Your heart once sang with me
It was a masterpiece
It was truly unique
The gods bowed their heads in the presence
I used my last regrets
I promised That I wouldn't forget
That song that we once sang
Ill remember that day

When I saw you leave
It was so hard but so full of relief
I was sad for days
I resented the month of may
On may 28th
We'd sang out song
I remember how you smiled
I had felt at home for awhile
But you had evicted me

Do you remember the melody
Your heart once sang with me
It was a masterpiece
It was truly unique
The gods bowed their head in the presence
I used my last regret
I promised I wouldn't forget
That song that we once sang
I'll remember that day
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2014
I felt a shift in overwhelming air
It tingled against my sensitive eyes
I felt the breeze run fingers in my hair
And I felt where the Earths heart really lies

The sun rested its arms against my face
And brushed away the shards blown asunder
Took me in and gave me a humble place
Beneath it's warm wings safe from the thunder

The rain washed away my dry salted tears
Held me in blankets of security
Erased my frothing belligerent fears
In a stronghold of true sincerity

This is the place that I call my real home
It's a place that I have built on my own
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2015
Click Clack
Click Clack
My throat is burning
My skin is dry; barely clinging to my bones
My eyes are glued shut by exhaustion
But I know I should open them
Click Clack
The rough surface of the floor beneath me
Scrapes my fragile skin
Help me
Click Clack
With the rest of the strength I harbor inside me
I open my eyes
Click Clack
A dim light looming above me, flickers as it swings side to side
The only source of light
The only source of hope
Click Clack
Time eludes me
There are no windows in my prison
Click Clack
No, there is only Time and Pain
My two closest friends
Click Clack
Exhaustion sweeps over my protesting body once again
And my eyes drape in defeat
My muscles sag their heads in despair
And my bones creak as they settle back into place
Click Clack
My mind flickers into a dream
Where I live vicariously through my inner self
Click Clack*
It's safer this way.
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
My mother is strong,
She raised me and my sister,
Alone ,
No one to help her,
My mother is strong,
she threw away,
All the evil men that had tried to bring her down,
My mother is strong,
She never cried in front of us,
My mother is strong,
She learned to laugh when things got hard,
My mother is strong,
She help be our light when things were too dark to face on our own,
My mother is strong,
She never left a moment dull in our lives,
My mother is strong,
She made things fun even though we didn't have money,
My mother is strong,
When my sister left she lifted her head and smiled
Even though I knew she was breaking,
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2013
Beneath the moons gentle gaze
The fluttering of leaves touching in the wind
Sounds in my ringing ears
The soft rippling water spilling from the earths skin
Drag my finger across the velvet surface
Calling the power only pure water such as this gives me
Close my eyes and concentrate
Feel the way the water hugs my emerged skin
Feel the way the water moves as though it breathes
The pale moon a reflection against the dark waters
Clusters of stars dusted in the sky
Shine down like dozens of lit candles floating
The cool scrape of the grass against clad knees
And the soft chirp of the awakening night life
All natures gift to me
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2013
Burning up the streets
Watching the flames eat
Feeding them with my anger
With my pain
Never going back
Fueled by my shame
Tossing away the keys
I'm leaving behind the old me
She's no longer my home
I'm ready to be the riot
Never keeping quite
I'm ready to be insane
Never being tame
Releasing the crazy in me
She's been chained up
Never being able to feed
I have this bloodlust controlling me
And she won't rest, she's too hungry
She'll take your soul
Eat it whole
A smile on her face
But there's no room to care
The fireworks explode
The river runs free
Letting this crazy feeling run through me
Throw my hands up
Tilt my head back
Scream to the sky
Let the stars take me
Laughing tell I cry
Crashing through the flames
Never going back
Never chaining myself that place
I'm on fire
As I tear up the streets
In the dark
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2013
I opened my heart
To a new beginning
So you could have a fresh start
So your world might stop spinning
But as I layed out my walls
You pushed at me
And slowly I watched them fall
And it hurt to see
You couldn't wait for me to come along
You had to have it now
You couldn't wait long
You made me bow
You see I don't like this
I can't lay my head to the floor
I won't watch this
As you parade like a *****
To this man you only just met
To this guy you want to love
I can't approve this yet
Even if you want me too
It's you I vowed to protect
After every mans cold dagger
I will be there to help select
Incase you stagger
Just don't let me down
I don't want to cry
Don't make me frown
Don't make me die
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2013
A new year ready to stretch it's wings
As the earth grows a year older
And the frosty winds will sing
And the sun in it's beauty will smolder

People will make new year resolutions
And some will be met
It's like a key a solution
To there hopes that haven't been granted yet

They'll set aside their problems
And make a list of new ones
They'll think of how to solve them
To realize it will never be done

The darkness might just hang over our heads
As we pray to gods to forgive our sins
We'll sit awake in our warm beds
And our patience will wear thin

But we'll cheer happy new year
Though we all feel weighed down
And we'll forget about our fears
And quietly drown
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Predators eyes
Wings out spread
Softly brush
The air
Waring screech
Colder air
Two distinctive
Strips of white
Nighthawk
Katlyn Orthman Aug 2012
The forest floor along my bare feet,
I'm searching, but for what I'm not sure ,
Looking past the thick withered trees,
Looking past the billowing leaves,
Something churning inside me,
Knowing?
Instinct tells me not to go any farther,
But curiosity pushes me farther,
The soft rush of water,
I step hastily into the stream,
Water slithers its way up my body,
Encasing me completely,
Trembling from fear,
But I still breath,
Hurriedly  looking for evidence of what happened,
But my skin is dry,
Confused but not wishing to remain,
I walk on deeper into the forest,
Darker it becomes,
Harder to breath the air so thin,  
A soft whisper brushing past my ear,
But no ones there ,
I look towards my feet,
Blood pooled,
Words in a enigmatic language,
Carved into my flesh,
A scream stuck in my throat,
Whispers fill the forest untill the sound like screams,
All goes silent,
I fall into the hands of the dirt,
And then I wake panting in my room,
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2014
I'm afraid to shut my eyes,
I'm terrified I'll see you there
in my dreams
again

I want so bad to tell my mom
why I want to stay up late
I want so bad to confess to her
the reason I hardly ate

I want to cry
and tell her whats wrong
but I've held it all in
for so long

I'm praying, I am actually praying
if anyone will listen
take this from me
take it off of my chest

because **** it
I'm doing my best
I keep thinking
that I don't deserve this

To be haunted
by a monster
that takes and takes and takes
and walks freely
unaware or maybe just uncaring of
the mess that he makes

Please
I just want to sleep
if it's not to much to ask
let my dreams be mine to keep
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
Wind rushing through the open windows
It's cold but I disregard the bite in the air
The moon is hardly peaking our from behind the snow frosted woods
I can hear the faint whistle as the wind swooshes my curtains
The stars are scattered across the sky
Pulling me into a mesmerizing view
I don't know the names of the stars
Or what they mean
I only see there beauty
And that's what holds me in this spell
Utterly flawless
Burning hot in the moonlit darkness
I was born to watch the night
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2014
Plague rests upon the tips of green leaves
Turning them to black with disease
Darkness seeps into the fragile sky
The stars begin to ascend as the sun slowly dies

Tears feed the soil with their woe
Rivers are born, of sadness they flow
So early war has taken hostage
This Earths thick foliage

Skin decays and fades away
But angry souls do remain
Their cadaverous fingerprints left behind
As time begins to pass them by

Nocturnal night lingering here
With death drifting near
These people weep
They no longer sleep
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2013
I am so broken
As I bleed
This time pain is all I can feel...
I need help

Yet I can't see to find my way out
I should've turned back years ago
Now I'm alone
*And the darkness is cold
And this life is getting old
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Lying on the floor
Arms wrapped tight
My heart hurts more
I lost our life long fight
Tears slinking out
I can't stand this aching
Whole life engulfed in doubt
My souls for the taking
The lights flicker on
I blink the spots away
At the brink of dawn
Cant stand the sight of day
Just want to lay in my sorrows
And broken tattered dreams
No hope to see tomorrow
Life's not as great as it seems
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
I've been waiting for you
You were halfway in my hand
Until she wanted you too
And you ventured to her land

And you thought you fell in love
And left me wasted at the end
And you that she was your love
Until you found it was pretend

Then you called me up with fake apologies
And you thought I'd take you back
I thought your were a disease
And I know this for a fact

I was through even though my heart broke
I was done though I wanted to cry
And when I turned around I chocked
And I thought I wanted to die

But your memories are gone
In the box in my head
When I said so long
And my love was truly dead
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2013
It's was a broken dream of "couldn't"
It was a lie that always burned
All the things that I shouldn't
I still did on my turn
I am now broken
By my mistakes
Unspoken
Couldn't take
It
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
Breaking into myself
Every lock I had to pick
Every maze I had to get through
Just to open up the last bordered up door
And find out no ones' home
I'm all alone
Go figure
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
He was a demon
But I was drawn
He was evil
But I still watched him
He moved with grace
And his eyes were green
He was mysterious
So pristine
I could see his soul
masked in shadows
But it never stopped me
No room for shame
No room for tame
A lion crazed
Can't help myself
My fingers yearn to touch
No room to think
No room for room
I was closed in
I was scared
But it never stopped me
From claiming his heart as my own
Deep in the abyss of his soul
Was a light
Pain and fear had made him
So chained
So pained
I unbound him from his fate
Loved where there was hate
No room for shame
When you claim
His heart
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2013
I've asked myself
while looking in my own eyes,
Who am I?
I can't untangle this mess
Of things I'm supposed to be
The things that make up "me"
I keep waiting for it to all make sense
For me to know what I'm doing
But the truth is,
I couldn't be more lost
Following a faint trail of what's supposed to be right
And I'm confused
But never asking for help
In fear I'd come off weak
And though the tears push at my eyes
Begging for me to let go
I hold them in and squeeze my hands tighter
Because I can only cry alone in the dark
I'm overruled by this overbearing feeling that
I have to morph myself into a lie
Hiding behind a phantom
Only a ghost of what I really am
What ever that is
I haven't figured it out
Maybe I never will
I can only hope that I will find the will
To go on when the lights go out
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2014
May the words be spoken,
but promises never broken
May our peace and love remain in our hearts
and never leave and never part
blessed be the ones who care
but are neither here and never there
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2013
Oh this demon was in disguise
She was made of all these lies
And I thought she was sweet
Then on our first meet
I realized she was planning her demise
Yeah she sidled up and laced up her words
And sweetly poisened me with her standards
And I knew that I would never meet them
I could barley begin to brush the hem
It was then I had to approach her
But she was supposed to be my best friend
Until I finally realized that this might be the end
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2013
Do you think if I cut my hair
I might become someone else ?
If I change my clothes
And the piercing in my nose
I could hang the old me up on the shelf?
Do you think if I cover the scars
And I wash out the hair die
That I could wash out the lies
And maybe become one with the stars?
Do you think if wiped up the tears
And rearranged my room
That I could change how I feel
And stop pretending that this is real
Maybe mop up the pieces with a broom?
Maybe I could reconstruct my shattered dreams
No, cause nothing is as easy as it seems
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
They pick me up
They show me friendship
You try so hard to be everything
You think you should be
But by the end of the night
You lay cold in bed
You gave all you could give
Your alive but you feel like you've never lived
You pay for every breath
You pay for every tear
Can you bear the ruthless
Realization that your not as strong
As your heart screams you need to be
Maybe you should give it all up
And be free
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2013
Don't feel the pain,
Like novacane
it numbs the ache

Dreams turn to ash,
I'm coming in last
every single time

Twist and turn I struggle to breathe,
under the weight of a new way to relax

I don't want to feel any more.
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