The first time you kissed me, flowers bloomed;
From my heart unfurling, lilies, roses, fragile
things, so gentle and so new, so sickly
sweet, they clogged my veins with
scent, and wrapped their vines
around my heart.  I still feel
them now, slowly wilting
away to nothing, slowly
dying and decaying,
these little buds
of something
gone.

Today I went for a walk

And saw a dandelion by the road

It held no beauty or anything to offer

But I kept it anyway

And I began to think

Maybe that’s what you do with me
And I clung to the dandelion

Tighter than ever.

People pick me for my resemblance to the sunshine;
attracted to the brightness I could bring to their lives and my precious design.
But as soon as my colours fade, my petals wither and I'm no longer warm,
I am dropped and left to slowly drown in a secret thunderstorm.

1; Every time I think hard about a theoretical concept, the rest of my thought processes become out of focus, like on a camera, and I find it hard to speak in regular conversation as that fades.

2; I think dark blood is beautiful, but light red looks too much like small talk.

3; As you can probably tell, people make me feel like I'm drowning in a foreign sea.

I wish I knew what love the scent of love smells like
I wish I knew how death feels
I wish I knew what terror tastes like
I wish I knew what crazy looked like

I do have theories though

I bet love smells like you

I bet death feels like a mix between sleeping and those times when you are just existing when you should be living

I bet terror tastes like you swallowed a bolt of lightning

And I bet crazy looks like me.

I guess I'm too ******* up for you.
I'm not 'normal' enough.
I'd be the first to admit I have a shitload of problems.
I don't feel like I can trust anyone.
I'm not good enough for crap.
I'm way to nice to people who don't deserve it.
I'm tired of being walked on.
I'm tired of apologizing.
Sometimes I wonder why I'm here.
I'd hate to bother you.
I'm always here for you, but where are you when I need you?
I should stop expecting you to show up.
You don't care.
But did you ever?
I'm' tired of pretending everything is fine.
Cause it's not.