I was alone..
I had no one to love
no one to care
But a girl entered
into my life
I followed her day and night
I loved her from all my heart
She was my classmate
She smiled at me when we met
Oh god, it made me to
soar in the air
Oh god, she made to
feel dare
I made up my mind
to be with her
I came to know, I cant
live without her
She was my love
she was my heart
I thought we will never
be apart
But one fine day..
God took her away
Im alone again
dreaming about her love
and pain!
----de3pak

I used to be obsessed with
Those tiny, willowy, broken girls.
The ones with the sad eyes
And the drug habits.

But I look at your pictures
And I just get nauseous.

This doesn't suite you.
He doesn't suite you.
None of this suites you.

Remember when we needed each other?
Things were so ****** up,
But you looked so much healthier.

I was just guessing.
Kept on turning to the right.
But you're face and my make believe persona of you drove me to the left.
Like a drunk driver behind the wheel, I had no control.
Yet I let you still over come me.
So I found you.
I let you in.
Me, myself have lived on this hell bound planet for 22 years, and still couldn't find happiness.
Past "loves" made these fossil creatures look like peasants kissing the ground their holy queen walked on.
And I was the king.
In other words, you held that throne.
That happiness I was so thirsty for finally quenched me.
You were my absolute everything.
We moved quickly but not with a care.
Blinded though if you may, in a way.
Our family seemed unbreakable cause our contract said forever.
My first true love you were and are.
How *** was always nothing but lust, or what I thought was making love was false.
Till I stepped in you're great door.
Our eyes would lock and no one would ever find the lost key to unlock them.
It wasn't just ******* or sensation.
But making love.
The greatest vice and feeling I would ever encounter.
A year since our fairy tale ending and still I fail to experience that or anything greater, with any woman who has came my way.
From what you weren't aware of was what my previous relationship left me as.
Which was a hidden monster.
So all I knew was how to react off of emotion instead of logic.
Our different ways of life and guiding our own spawns couldn't compromise.
So we started falling apart, like a castle slowly losing it's structured bricks.
Never thought I truly live a real nightmare and knowing there was no waking up.
Reality.
The plane took me away from our departure and still I wait for a new arrival.
From what it looks like it will never happen.
All I am is set for failure and survival.
You know you were my favorite?
I wish I savored it.
Sometimes I wish I could get amnesia so it wouldn't even be memory.
But how can I?
When you was and still are my everything.

Crying can happen so gently...
But oh god does it hurt
When you're curled up crying so hard
You think you might scream,
But your throat constricts
And all that you could ever muster
Is an unintentional mangled squeak of raw emotion.

Someday,
when you'll ask me
"how much do you love me?",
In answer, I will not spread my arms wide.

I will rather wrap them around you
tight,
and will never let you go.

***** and musk
Rapid breathing and heart rate
    Command me I'm yours

-

I am trying to find an
easy way to describe
how I am feeling right now

I could say it is like tides going out
never again returning to shore

or

as if the sun has set permanently
leaving the world in darkness

or

it feels every minute seems
twice as long than the last

or

I am more empty than a
bank lobby on a holiday

or

I could just say
I miss you…so very much

That would be the easiet thing to say