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Sep 2017 · 474
out of ink
Kasey Park Sep 2017
In a keen student’s school bag
Suffocated in the bottom of textbooks and folders
A pen died

A moment of silence for this pen
Who was able to make it thus far
Unlike his friends who was dropped
Down the subway tracks

No one mourned when this pen died though
Only the pen knew
Of its arduous and hard-lived life
Filled with scribbles and ink blotches
Apr 2017 · 541
April 9th 2017
Kasey Park Apr 2017
Blessed
Beyond words
Both in life
But also ironically in
Death

Happy

Because she was there
By my house
Blindly smiling
Beautiful

Sad
Bright in their eyes
Black in heart
Biting Bickering
Bugs

Blythe

Beyond words
Barely in distress
Boldly chasing away blackness
You

And
me
always
Mar 2017 · 1.8k
Mirror mirror on the wall
Kasey Park Mar 2017
She looks in the mirror fidgeting picking
Distraught, destroyed, disgusted
Her stomach curves out a bit and her arms a bit clumpy
Wishing, wanting, wailing

She looks perfectly fine but not in her eyes
To her she’s a sack of calories
Body fat sticks to her more than her mother’s positive words
Her reflection looks like a painting thrown out of a gallery

A part of her is done, fed up, and over with it all
“The media doesn’t affect me cuz I’m better than that”
But stretch marks crawls down the back of her thighs
And leaves her uttering the words “I’m fat”

At this point she says it to please her friends
They all say it actually; it’s normal conversation
But at night she knows they all go look in the mirror
And stare in horror with fear, and agitation
~~~~~
A few days’ go by as she sticks to
Her brand-new diet routine
Apples for the morning and Chicken in the night
But results aren’t as fast as she seems

She trembles at the sight of her
Cannot come out of her complete disgust
Of the way she is; why was she born like this?
Is it possible for a body to suddenly combust?

Her friends don’t say much or notice at all
Which is ok she guesses since they don’t need to care
But just sometimes, she wonders if they can see
The way her ribcage struggles to take in air

A few weeks go by as she stands in the mirror
Once again as she always did
Dropped two pant sizes, now size 8
Healthy looking but not that fit

Or at least not fit enough for her
So she continues to tighten the measuring tape
Stomach tightens and tears squeeze out
FAT FAT FAT is all she can contemplate

At this point she can’t see her body
She sees an ugly, disgusting garbage dump
Slim red lines scatter her thighs and arms
Hair is turning thin and comes out in clumps

Only after a few months do her parents see
How thin their precious daughter is becoming to be
But they become so happy and compliment her
For dieting well and looking so pretty

“My dear, you’re looking good!” they say
“You’re looking better than ever!” They all sigh
“How are you losing this much weight so quickly?”
She just smiles at them and lies

“I’m fine honestly and I never felt greater!
It feels so good to drop this much weight
I should have done this a lot sooner, I know,
But at least it’s never too late”

The skin around her flat stomach; its all fat
Her arm bulge and legs do too; she thinks it’s all so bad
Why can she just be skinny? Why is it so hard
If only she were thinner, she wouldn’t be so sad

Tears stroll down her cheeks, head feels like fire
Her weak limbs start to boil in anger
The girl she sees in the mirror, she hates hates hates
Can’t see the damage of her mind, the danger

The mirror cracks as she throws her fists
Against the reflection of the face she hates
Disgust and agony pour out of her eyes
Torturing herself as punishment; she won’t hesitate

The core of her mind is now corrupt
Everything that she sees becomes threat
The food at lunch? Her mothers dinner?
Just the thought of eating makes her upset

Because if she eats, she will get fat
And she won’t be skinny and pretty
And if she’s not pretty who will love her?
She just wants to be loved; is that too greedy?
Feb 2017 · 344
Reflection
Kasey Park Feb 2017
We're too quick to judge
Rash/ Fowl/ Harsh
In our thoughts and words

Who are we to judge another
Soul/ Heart/ Mind

We're we not all children once?
Happy/ Hurt/ Hopeful

Slowly transforming into adults
Irrational/ Unreasonable/ Selfish

At times of Fear/ Doubt/ Hate
Let us remember
Love
Feb 2017 · 350
Fear of failure
Kasey Park Feb 2017
Why am I afraid to try?
What can be the consequence of failure?
Disappointment?
Woe?
Dejection?
I speak as though it's permanent;
As if the rejection letter back from Harvard will forever define of me
As if my bruised face will eternally embarrass me from another fight
As if my voice cracking in the middle of a recital will forever
Keep me under my potential

Why do I say such degrading remarks?
"Oh I wish I was like you, i wish I wasn't me,
i wish I could have been someone else"
When there is no two person alike

Maybe that's why we crave to be under someone's shadow
Because we think that we don't deserve to have our own fingerprint
"Her fingerprint is so much more valuable"
"Her smile is worth more than mine"

There is no hand like mine
No soul that can shine
And can rejuvenate hearts and rekindle smiles like wine

No one person like me
Exists other than me
It's lonely and misleading
Because I'm the only one

To venture in life in my point of view
If I think about it, it's upsetting
No one can understand my heart
My wonders, dreams, secrets and thoughts
Other than me

We are the loneliest creatures we know
The only one of our kind exists
genetically so similar
But distinctly so different

Through our isolation and pains
We unite
Under one force of love and affection
We create the future

And to think I won't be part of this future
To think I'm not capable of any contribution
To the betterment of our society
When no one can see things the way I can:

How foolish
Feb 2017 · 850
Kid to a boy
Kasey Park Feb 2017
I remember the day I became a boy
From the small little kid I was
That transformation changed my life
For the better or worse
Who knows

It happened on the playground
While playing freeze tag
He grabbed my hand to run
But just a little too tight
And my heart went BADUMP

****** my hand back, froze on the spot
And he stopped running too
"What's wrong" he asked "are you ok?"
I wasn't feeling sick and I could count 1-10
But my heart was all confused

From then on I could never go back
To being some random kid
From now on I was a boy
With feelings, emotions and love
Soon to be a man.
When you have your first crush
Feb 2017 · 368
I won't.
Kasey Park Feb 2017
I won't ever stop writing
For you
Because you make me hold my pen
It's true
Jan 2017 · 458
Soulmates can be friends
Kasey Park Jan 2017
Media told me to find the one
In the person who would be my lover
That my soulmate would be my husband
And quickly I must uncover

This soulmate within my boyfriend
Or any crush I would have
But no one told me my soulmate
Would be my best friend I had

Words are too light to hold our bonds
So we speak through sight
She looks into my eyes and sees my emotion
And gives me a coffee just right

The world we see is beautiful but dark
As we both talk of change
Together we hope to make a difference
Maybe fate can have that arranged

My closest friend and other half
Many memories we both been through
Forget my husband; he'll come later
Because friends can be soulmates too
Nov 2016 · 299
My Music
Kasey Park Nov 2016
My Music…
Will it reach them?
The vitality of my soul,
The epitome of my identity
Can they feel it?

Can it reverberate into the ears of the deaf?
Can it dye the eyes of the blind?
Can it tremble through the fingerprints of the heartless?
Can it be felt through all kind?

What I have to offer
Isn’t much but
If you can feel it
******* worth, my efforts, my spirit
Close your eyes from the flash of my strength

Then every bloodshed practice
Every grueling repeat
Every sip of bitter scalding tea
Will all be complete

After all, music is selfish
Played for the sake of yourself
To prove to others the effort you put in
Did not go to waste

With every practice
That annoys and aggravates
A trace of confidence stretches over
Knowing you tried while others didn’t

Purely to satisfy your thoughts
You continue to let loose feelings
Emotions all to vent and filter out
Into every precise note you hit

However, Music is selfless
Played for the listener's enjoyment
Their pleasure reciprocates your own
And fuels you to push through

It’s always dedicated to someone
In the corner of your heart
To the person who lights it up
And warms it from the inside out

Music is more beautiful when it’s made for you
Maybe it’s because you put a face
To the lighthearted tune that trickles into the room
And slips a smile in people’s face

And yet
To take the one thing I had to offer
Rip every painstaking stitch practice put in
God, you are cruel
Heartless
Evil
The gift you gave me, you ****** back
Just from one accident

Now what I have to give
Is nothing but rumors
I don’t want your facades
Your condolences
Your prayers
I wanted your admiration
Your praise
Your attention
I wanted my gift to be respected and acknowledged

But now
Instead of applause I get apathy
Instead of smiles I get sympathy
Instead of prizes I get pity

What am I without Music?
Oct 2016 · 854
Graveyard under the City
Kasey Park Oct 2016
The hustle and bustle over
the bodies of the dead
The tossing and turning under
the spirits of living

Go ahead; live your life
As if no one was there first Before you
Feel important and do great things
With the last 80 year's you have

Travel as far and wide as you can
Through the whirls of the wild
And the depths of the desert
But you can't escape

Soon you'll be cordially welcome
To the cult of spirits down below
A forgotten existence, but new addition
To the Graveyard under the City
Oct 2016 · 285
Still missing you
Kasey Park Oct 2016
It's been about two years
Didn't know time could slip that fast
Away from my reach
Away from my heart
Did you leave so suddenly

Don't remember asking for much
Just wanted you to be there that's all
To stay with me for me
To stay with me for you
Probably for both of us

It's been two years and I'm still writing
Poems because that's how I can cope
From your sudden disappearance
From your sudden coldness
Two years and I still miss you
Jan 2016 · 263
Friendship
Kasey Park Jan 2016
Friendship is different you see, 
for it is a joy, and a special key
to make ones soul glorious and alive
and its kept within you, shining bright

we are human, so we are the same
isolation and jealousy; what is there to blame
your feelings, dear are understandable
for emotions are not tame, nor commandable

however, my friend, what I do not accept
is the fear you have about our friendship being kept
what makes you think that it will slip past
by all the hours on email, over an ocean so vast

you have nothing to fear when it comes to me
I can only grow so big, but I am still small as can be
I am loyal to you endlessly for you are a part of I
saving me from the depths of fear, for you I try

I try to be someone new, another person
trying to swim up out of the ocean of confusion
never ever doubt this trust
even if the deadly sins come out to lust

Last but never least, I leave this message
trying to tell you with the least aggression
that no matter who I meet or where I'm in
we are together, here and within
Long distance friendships ****
Jan 2016 · 712
Shine a light
Kasey Park Jan 2016
Shine a light before you leave
Colours of agony still linger to the unforgiven
They *******, degrade, and soon fall
And can drag you down to their sin

Throw a sparkler in before you go
For you may find those who are bursting with love
Among the shadows they radiate virtue
And eventually go to the better places above

Take a torch along your walk
Lonely souls seem to ripple only depression
See them, know them, accept them
But take caution of the obsession

Ignite a flare on your path
For you are bound to discover those select few
Eyes glisten and are blinded with hope
Different to others though; in their own hue

Flicker a match on the way there
Solve the enigma of all the masks
Dwell into each step with keen precaution
Shine a light; that's all I ask
Dec 2015 · 376
Blind to the Obvious
Kasey Park Dec 2015
I have a jem
It sparkles in the sunlight inside of me
and blinds the eyes of those who dare to challenge
the brightness of my jem

It impresses people everywhere
leaving them in awe and amazement
I have no need to flaunt or praise myself
for it is done constantly for me

Despite the obvious that exists in me
To some, it cannot be seen
No matter how bright my jem sparkles
Only one person is blind
To my shine

Who would have imagined that
Out of all those who were incapable of seeing
It would have been someone so close
Closer than anyone else who was blind

Oh father, when will your eyes clear
And un-blur from the barriers of our differences
When, just when will you see with clarity
The talent I possess
Dec 2015 · 249
Untitled
Kasey Park Dec 2015
When everyone leaves
What is left behind?

Memories

Of?

Well...

Let's make them worth remembering
Dec 2015 · 367
And on you will go
Kasey Park Dec 2015
She stepped through the groaning door at the age of eleven
and peered into my hidden eyes
Introduced herself with with a twinge of pride
And on she went to the next handshake

She would bustle about for days and days
but could bring her highway of life to a standstill
Swirling her scattered emotions into a whirl of whip cream
And on she went wiping the cream from her lips

She smiled blissfully without any thought
of the marks the boulder strapped to her back was engraving
Occasionally beads would trickle down her cheek
But on she went flicking the dewdrops away

She looked about on the world, quietly observing
its faults, cracks and crevices
Sitting there in profound thought she conjured up so many ideas
And on she went marching through the trackless dirt

She would come to me with her joys and bubbling
with thousands and thousands of words to paint me her vision
My clouded eyes were almost on the shoreline to her picture
And on she went to the other side and patiently waited for my arrival

She wrote to me on the brink of midnight
On how successful my future was and what I had coming for me
But little did she know of her own jubilee waiting for her
So on she went, anxiously stepping into her opportunities

She came to me again, excitedly and curiously
A year older and a year of more wisdom we could only both wish for
Our eyes matched together on cloud nine
And on she went to tell me her dreams and passions


She gave me a message on what she had in mind
Her painting of a  refined world with smoother edges and a sparkling surface
I could see vividly with hope and spattered out words of encouragement
And on she went, hiking upwards en route to her goal

She would sometimes however, trip over her laces
and fall to the floor with the weights of her responsibilities
All I could do was send her a handkerchief to wipe away the dewdrops of her efforts
Still on she went right back up and continued onwards again

She was always this kind of girl; to question the insecurities of
those around her and do what she could to fix them
As she grew older, her caliber of people only grew and grew
And on she went, changing the problems of the cities around her

With all that, my dearest friend, there is no one I can possibly conjure of
That would do a better job than what you juggle on a daily basis
With the passion you have for the future, you can guarantee
that you will go wherever in this world with my applause

As you go on walking over your struggles and barriers
I will plaster up neon pink posters on the walls you sprint past
Constantly clapping for you with smiles and laughs
And on you will go, seeing blotches of pink as you rush past

Distance is nothing but an insignificant hurdle on our friendship
And no matter the 12 hour difference or the contrasting schedules running simultaneously
This will not be any burden to my perpetual support for you
And on you will go, proudly imprinting your thin signature all over the world
For my best friend

— The End —