I wonder what it feels like
To really know what you want.

I spend countless hours,
Wishing and waiting
For things I think I want.
Things that would make me happy;
Or so I think.

When the things I wish and wait for
Actually come around,
I find myself pushing it away
Because it isn't really what I wanted.

I waited all this time,
Just for stuff I ended up not really wanting.

The problem is,
It is what I want
How it is in my dreams
But that's not how life works.

And now I am back to not knowing
What it quite is that I think would make me happy.
And I'm left here with the thought of,
That maybe there is nothing that really can.

You see,
The way your touch felt was almost electrifying
And when your lips touched my body (anywhere),
It's almost like I forgot what's real and what's not.

You see,
Something had never felt so right,
But also so wrong
All at once when laid upon my skin.

You see,
When I look back and try to reminisce
To when you kissed me all over & grazed my skin with yours,
It feels like I'm imagining something not real.

You see,
It feels I'm imagining it better than it was,
But I know that I am not (imagining)
Because I remember this feeling every time after.

You see,
I can easily not need you
But I cannot easily not crave you
I can easily live without you,
But I cannot easily deny that you make me feel alive.

And you see,
I can easily let you go,
But I cannot easily forget you.