i) I never did a good enough job on helping my sister, and I guess that's why I blame myself when she wears long sleeves in the summer and finds unhealthy addictions in boys that never have the same intentions as her.

ii) I have a habit of making homes out of people who see me as nothing more than an empty hotel room.

iii) I stopped taking medicine altogether after the physiologist told me it would help with the sadness. I don't want to rely on anything but my mind and my heart, two things that often mislead me.

iv) My intentions are gold, but I always make things ******* myself and hurt others along the way.

v) I say the words, "I'm sorry" as often as some people say hello. You could break my bones and I'll apologize for driving you to do it.

And telling you I never wanted to see you again,
was the hardest thing I think I've ever done.
I remember when you were all I saw,
and all I wanted to see.

Please come back.

My therapist once told me that it was healthy to mourn the loss of a friendship as if it was a death. It's hard at first, as it should be, but "as time passes, it should heal the wound."

So for the past year, I have been spilling my heart out and crying over your "death". I've been scribbling your name on scratches of paper and setting fire to them. What my therapist never told me, was how long it would take for the wound you left, to close.

Because it has been a year, and I have acted as if you were nothing but a memory, because in reality, that's exactly what you are to me. But you are not dead. No. You have a beating heart and a life to live, and I know at any point, if you wanted to, you could come back to me.

I guess it's true that I always cared about you more. You wouldn't admit it, but you never had to. You don't live with me in my everyday life, but you're always with me in my dreams. And I've acted as if you were a ghost, but you will not stop haunting me.

I'm waiting for a "hello" that I know will never come, but that won't stop me from waiting anyways.

I'm waiting for your resurrection.

its not a special day
just a day like ever other
but today we decide our fait
today we burn the bridges
today we fight
today we dance
today.
today was certainly a wonderful day

If you are going to shine in this world,
it is essential to know:

You will cast shadows.

People will hate you for
the darkness,
instead of praising you
for clarity.

If you are uncomfortable when you look in the mirror,
keep in mind:
We spent thousands of years
trying to convince the earth
she was flat.

We wrote her maps as evidence of the things we saw;
and she believed them.
She cried tsunamis, and had earthquake breakdowns.

Keep in mind: the Sun never gave up hope.
The earth will keep spinning and breathing
the star-dusty space void of encouragement.

Next time you look in the mirror
and second-guess your potential divinity,
remember you will keep shining and living.

Because the Sun is out there
believing in you,
compensating for lack of the human capacity
to treat each other empathically.

You don’t need proof or approval
to be exactly what you are;
Eventually everyone will see
your infinite beauty.

I constantly tiptoe at the brink of insanity,
Continuously treading so close to its realm.
Sometimes I wonder if it's worth the trouble
Or if maybe, just maybe
It would be wiser
Smarter
Bolder
To welcome the insanity
And tumble in
Head first.

I feel everything
And nothing,


All at once,
And not at all.

Her eyes were two deep pools
And she was enticing you to drown in them
The water just looked too pretty to resist
So you jumped, but you forgot how to swim
And when you’re pulled under it’s too late
Those dilating pupils are a bottomless pit
And you’re a wilting rose in their darkness
You’ve been watered down into nothing

Eyes blue like the core of a flame
And true enough, you were drawn to them
A firefly burned gruesomely by the light
You couldn’t stay away; still and silent
Held mesmerised like many before you
Your throat parched for one sip
Regardless if water is polluted with apathy
Shameless; you’re drunkenly in love with it.

Hush now, don’t take a drink
Your lips may be cracked and bruised
But she is your poison and a slow one at best
A little boy like you should know better
Than to play with dancing, unruly fire
It burns, it burns, it burns
And the marks remain on your skin
A warning sign: “I was here first”