The mirrors on the wall
They've seen it all

The hurt and the fights
The long restless nights

They've seen hope and fear
They've seen death near

They've seen joy
In a hopeless boy

To them it isn't clear
The death that's near

What they don't see
Is the pain inside me

Who knows?
None but myself.
Who has experienced?
None but myself.
Who cares?
Surely, none but myself.

I know you keep thinking that you were the only one that was broken but let me remind you that it must’ve actually been a pleasure to have only gotten your heart broken while my entire being and world got shattered in pieces when you made me insecure for being who I really was, when you made me feel guilty for trying to become more myself. When it was like you locked me up in your heart and I wasn’t allowed to leave it, making me feel isolated and fragile like that little girl I fought so hard to not become again.
So just because I didn’t cry my eyes out, just because I didn’t stay in bed for days or weeks; doesn’t mean I didn’t feel the pain you felt, if not a million times worse, because I felt that pain every night before I went to sleep and the person hurting me was still right there holding me like I was a prisoner in his ideal world.

From her window panes ,                                                                                              I feel that she looks at another                                                                                          World that looks greatly different                                                                                     From her pretty and wonderful world ...                                                                           Her eyes stare at others' eye just to make                                                                        A pretty link with all of those links around ...                                                                 She wants to know other worlds of people                                                                       From her lovely and wonderful window ...                                                                         All of her windows overlook in all directions                                                                Looking for rights things in people's eyes ...                                                                 That window that she stands behinds tells                                                                      About her real truth in her own world ...                                                                   She is looking for a pretty love or she is                                                                       Looking for something else almost missing ...                                                                Her eyes are windows that overlook amazingly                                                           And her world is another world of love .................

Bad timing
Countless mistakes
Endless regrets
Too many tears
Insecurities
Excessive feelings
Blaming myself
Numerous ‘what ifs’
No closure
One year
One guy… who changed everything

it’s okay i’ll be
a different me when
tomorrow comes

i’m turning a year older

and here’s to hoping
that the extra number
will mean i’m stronger;
that 40-odd push-ups
won’t make my muscles
ache for much longer

and a shoutout to my blind spot
the weakest muscle
according to my calculations
that it quickens its palpitations
when a boy smiles

but i’m turning fifteen in
fifteen days and in
fifteen ways i will always
be alone

on my own two feet

but here’s to hoping you will
hold my hand and
be a receptacle of hugs
and tired sighs and puppy eyes
that die

i will be 15 and my heart has been
torn since 13.
i will never
get tired of fixing it up
i will never
give myself up

young but not that young
and old
old, old, old

my hands are threaded thickly
with veins
and my eyes are shrouded
with thick lenses
but there is no wall between me and the world
and the thinnest of spaces between
our shoulders
my heart is protected by a plastic bubble

but this will be the year i swim the sea

to give it all my tears
to let the salt in all my wounds
to feel the pain
to know i’m stronger

to not let anything hinder me