I hope i'm fooling everybody
With my fake gimmick of a cover up
And I hope it doesn't highlight my lack of beauty
But the only thing i fear it highlights is the lie that drips from my fake
*"I don't give a ****."

You and your smile that made me fall.
You pretending that you don't care at all.

You killing me slowly, straight to the core.
You stripping me of my self-worth and throwing it to the floor.

You and your lies, of love and forever.
You and your promises of always being together.

You and her, unable to escape my brain.
You knowing that my only relief is found in a blade.

You holding me as I cry into your arms.
You promising me I will come to no harm.

You whispering those three words I long to hear.
You whispering "God, I love you My Dear".

My record spins in sync with my mind, trying to forget the life I left behind
But the monsters they won't let me go, the demons tell me you hate me so
I'll go make myself feel something more, I'll carve out on my skin the truth - "you *****"
For that's what I am as you've told me so many times, just let me leave and escape my mind

But boy kissing you, it is the best
For although my lips are raw and my hair’s a mess
And my lungs gasp, and my tongue is burnt
I love it’s desperation and how badly it hurts

It's 3:31am and I can't sleep. I've not been able to sleep for a week now, I guess that's how I know my depression is creeping in.

It's 3:31am and all I've done is sleep now, and by sleep I mean lie awake in bed listing all the reasons, that he chose someone else.

Let me sit at list all the reasons she was better than me. Her hair, her smile, her lips, her eyes. God I hope not her eyes, they have always been your favourite part of me. But i guess that's why *** was so easy for you, because who wants to **** a girl with pretty eyes and an ugly body?

Tell me, do you know how to put back together a puzzle that has had some of its pieces thrown away, or how to stitch someone back together with string? Because I'm trying to learn I really am, but those puzzle pieces are missing, and the string is falling apart. How do you put a person back together, and put their heart back into their chest, when the hole that's left no longer fits the heart that remains?

It's 3:31am and you look so beautiful next to me. I'll close my eyes and try going back to sleep.