i wish
i could tell you

                                         i wish
                                         i could hold you

i wish
i could kiss you

                                         i wish
                                         i could love you


                           openly

maybe
every single decision
i have ever made
added up to entirely
decide my fate

maybe
all the people
i've seen or been with
have lead me to you
but you're too blind to see it

maybe
all the words
i have ever spoken
tangled the web that brought me here
leaving me so lonely

i wonder if you like
video games
or is breaking my heart
the only game you like to play?

i made you up
inside my head
all i can feel
is regret

and love for you
but is it you?
i don't think
that it is true

i made you up
inside my brain
you're making me
go insane

i fell in love
with the idea
not the person
i need to meet you

i made you up
inside my mind
i feel like
i'm losing time

my love is just
a complete waste
of all my energy
and your space

what does silence sound like?


it's the sound that surrounds me
every night i lay in bed
without your warm embrace
and wonder why i'm so sad
my brainwaves are incoherent
my fingers have gone numb
i haven't left my bed in three days
how i long to feel your touch
the sounds that no one dares to break
at 3 am in a lover's grave
brushing the hair away from my face
but you don't even know my name
and it's all just a dream that i made up
i wonder if i am actually awake
or if i'm stuck in a perpetual nightmare
counting the days until you hold my hand

would you **** me slowly
and enjoy my pain
playing on my heartstrings

do i mean nothing
am i just a ghost
am i just worthless

nothing good ever happens after 2 am
once your thoughts are taken over
by the lack of sleep
you're unable to understand
the difference between right and wrong
between bad and good
playing god on others
but you can't even help yourself
trapped in a spiral of self-hatred
and there's no light of day
that could help you see a way
only darkness that engulfs you whole
and you wait for hours for a single sign
even though it will just **** you more
should i get drunk or overdose
because sleep has long escaped me
i'm helpless without your love
that you don't want to give to me
and i would understand
but i don't want to
and i can't be without you for another breathing moment
you don't even know my name
and i am so utterly obsessed with you
i want to scream from the top of my lungs
but my voice is broken from sobbing
nothing good ever happens after 2 am
like my tears of sorrow and pain
that nobody is around to see
and there's something in my chest
that just won't let me breathe
it hurts me so badly and nobody even knows
i'm so sad but i could be so happy
if you would just love me
it's all i'll ever ask of you
but i just take another shot of coffee
and keep my bloodshot eyes peeled
my heart is racing like it's late to something
and it hurts my head
but you don't care
until the morning dawns and i realize
i haven't really slept in three days
so kids, remember
nothing good ever happens after 2 am