I’m so much bigger now.
I’ve grown into a young woman.
You were my brother and it honestly hurt when you left without a trace.
I was just a child.
I felt abandoned.

I saw your profile today...
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted to request your friendship, your attention, your acknowledgment of my existence.

But things are different now,
I’ve learned a lot.
And I know you’ve done the same.

What name should I call you by?
I’m unsure.
Are you still the old you?
The person I knew?
Or are you him? The one I never met?

Please know that I still love you.
We’re not friends, but I still love you.

I miss you so much, it’s unbearable.
You are much more than just a friend to me.
I love you.
I’ve wanted to tell you that for a very long time... Years, actually.
Please tell me you love me, too.
I can’t imagine my life without you.
I don’t even want to try, I know it’s impossible.
You’re everything I could possibly want.
You’re the only one I see,
The only one.

I hope you get this letter one day...
Soon.

why,

why does life come in waves?

it’s either the white sea foam,

salty, bubbles, calm

or

the tsunami,

flooding, crashing, drowning.

~

I wait for your reply
I am a puppy dog
Seemingly naive to the time passing by
But the tick-tock rattles to my very teeth
Please undo the collar
Unbuckle my leash
I wag when you enter, cry when you leave
What else could you want from me?
I need attention
I want to run free
Or, you could give me some affection...
Just hit send
And that would put my suffering to an end