So tired
of living
I could just
Die
So tired of waiting
For a good thing
When all I'm fed is
Lies
I will never taste
Happiness
The taste is bitter
On my tongue
So tired of neglect
Or the twisted words you said
So tired of the way you
Cry
When there's no more tears
To be shed
Nothing with you
Has ever made sense
And knowing that you
Will never repent
Makes me so tired
I could just
Sleep
Spend all of my life
Forever in my
Dreams

The panic is setting in.
It started in my ankles,
Shivering its way up
To the sweat on the back of my knees.

Creeping,
Crawling up my thighs in goosebumps
Chills.
It reaches its slimy, mangled claw
U
P
And clenches my stomach,
Digging into my diaphragm
And pulling down.

Breaths turn fragile,
Like butterflies taking flight
Light
And shallow.

The panic
Has set in.

The Way that can be named is not The Way.*

This cannot
be said, only
felt.

An old dog
sleeping alone
dreaming
of chased cats
past;

the red sun
rising like
a kept promise
in the east;

hot, brown
liquid in a
simple yellow
cup;

a woman's ***
surrounding
who you are
until you know;

the lulling coo
of mourning doves
lamenting.

Whatever
orders disorder
yet allows chaos
and makes
it good.

Whatever renders
the ordinary
extraordinary.

The inexplicably
deep awareness
of beauty in
an impersonal
universe.

A way to be
and a way to see

how to live
another day.

   ~mce

i loved you the way
i believed summer
would melt,
fell into your arms
the way i could only
ever fall with you.

quit needing,

quit wanting,

**** the rules,

be at peace...

I want so badly to feel
not just know
the life living within me.

Cells of my heart,
what makes you stay
and stick
and love
in such efficient harmony?
What are the series of
coincidences
constructed into miracles
by some invisible hand
to let you be?
What are you, how are you?
To drop and fall into one -
pulse-
compelling me, luring me
to breathe, breathe
even under the anaesthetic of sleep.

I crave to know
how my body cups my soul
in a mirrored glass and not
a casket
or cage, if I wish.

And why the soul cries
even so,
so

I speak
to the ever and ever lying beyond the sky.
I ask

Please?

Dreams break and lines break
but don't let
my heart break

into me.
It is living.

And I don't yet know
what that means.

you cant help me, theres nothing you can do
cause im already broken through and through
just leave me alone and ill disappear
no one will notice im not here
ill be a shadow on the wall
and none of you will even know at all
im breaking piece by piece
my end is nearly here
goodbye, notice im gone or not
I dont care
its just me
why would you
even care?

I care not for what may come
I fear not for who I'll be
But I care for what I'll be
I fear for who will come

I don't care if you
Throw sticks
Or stones
Or grenades.
You won't hurt me,
I'll pick myself up.

I don't care if you
Call me stupid
Or ugly
Or a failure, a disappointment.  
You won't hurt me,
I'll shut it all out.

I don't care if you
**** a frog
Or rob the bank
Or starve for days.
I won't bat an eyelid,
That's what others' did to me.

I have been made
Cruel and heartless
By this warped, greedy world.

If it won't affect me,
I won't care.