I went on for several years
knowing,
obsessed with
the way your eyes
penetrated my soul,
how your scent
permeated
every fiber,
every single cell in my body
that continued to ache for you,
remembering how
you clung onto me
whispering my name
and how great
you felt there.
And you knew too,
it was only a matter of time
before you were gone.
You knew.
I know.

walls,
worn out with pride
paint,
scratched off with anger
floor,
mudded with vices.

start again.

(and there goes the sound of destruction.
then silence.
all that is left
is a broken wasteland.)

Some people are not poets
They are poetry themselves

Some people are not authors
They are books themselves

Some people are not singers
They are songs themselves

Some people are not beautiful
They are beauty themselves

Some people are not modest
They are modesty themselves

And

They all exist in this world
But they don't  recognize themselves

A Phoenix that shouldn't be caged yet is tied down with strings.
Only time will tell if it can be free to spread its wings.
The freedom of flying isn't attainable without sacrifices.
The journey seeking for another has come to an end.
The feathers one by one begin to fall, heart bleeding and its soul fading.
Without attention, acceptance or love, it withers away
in a fiery and phenomenal bittersweet extinction.

my heart wants to write something
my mind can't think of anything
my keyboard is waiting
my notepad is empty
white space

looking at my reflection..
"show me your heart" *, i said
I see joy and peace- nothing is dead

In pain, I have so many words
In hopelessness, I see a different world
In desperation, my head is freaking out
But in joy, everything is calm

No words, nothing to write
everything I see is so bright
I don't want my heart and head to fight
From now on, I'll not only speak about my knight

This nothingness reminds me of myself
The happiness I always hide in the shelf

I want to write about it
I want to start seeing it

Everyday - smile, hope and peace
"I tell you to treat yourself precious
and go out and tell us all your adventures"* ,
I said in sweet little whisper.

"no pain can turn you down
stand up and wear your crown"
**looking at my reflection
at last!
For myself, I have given affection.

In due time
I’ll pay what’s owed
Alone for the load of old moves
Payback for loans to sell dreams for a minute
Pimpish
If it’s crazy to be owned by the past I will be finished
Listened
To the choir to acquire what was missing
My soul is tired
Worn like treads of tires
Sneaker soles and old attire
Suited with attributes of a brute
Uncouth in the present of the future forbearing
Telling what’s apparent
Yet no one will listen
Forever imprisoned by debt
Even bankruptcy is too much to afford
Lawyers are costly
Hard to invest in freedom
I’m left
Like the wrong hand
Gambling for the chance
To win
Signing on lines
Next to x’s
Trying to buy back.....
Trying....
I’m trying to...
****...

I need my ******* soul back!