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.       What can you do, fight being you?
        Who can I be, if I'm not being me?
      Where can I go if I don't belong home
      Where can i turn when I feel so alone.

I cannot confide, I have too much to hide
I cannot push further what's deep down inside, I protect you from me and the troubles I bring I won't weigh you down I won't let you drown.

I will not let you share the worries that I bear, I will not let you see, the cracked doll that is me.
If you can't see it, turn the title upside down
There is a desperation
In the eyes of a certain few
Who know this is it
This blink of an eye in time
And after that, that's it
The eyes tell it all
The stories the storms
The winters the secrets
The whiskey the memories
Those eyes man,
They see the end of time
From books they know the past
And from their soul they have today
Tomorrow comes so fast
When you know the clock ticks
Tick tock tick tock
This is all we have and we know it
A desperation so pure
The desperation to live
To live and to forget about dying
 Feb 2017 joel hansen
A
Soulfull
 Feb 2017 joel hansen
A
I was born to love everyone but I loved so hard the insides of my lugs tore apart. Sometimes I love too deep. In a city too dark to love in, we overlook the mountain and hedges that have pricked the life of us with thorns, banished us in places that see silence through congested thoughts. We sing Like a humming birds. Singing in attempt to abolish the very existence of our stars and the stars we shared yet, we lay quilted in stardust and the silhouettes of our shadows. They burst into flames or kaleidoscopes, a beauty, complimented by the prophecy of life itself. Sometimes we hope to speak like our words have lost themselves in the coils of our tongues but we hope to live with strength not habituated in settings of frost and snow. Our worlds don't intertwine but our hopes do. We seek refuge in prayer during the midst of our foggy minds and the very cosmos of our thoughts. We recite the soft speech of the holy book to excuse us from the blackness of the universe. Our souls wonder naked from emotions and exposed to our own destinies created with incompatibility and dissection.
 Feb 2017 joel hansen
storm siren
My generation
Is the generation in waiting.
We're just waiting
For our lives to change.
We do all the things
We're supposed to,
And are still met
With criticism.

Because half of us
Are doing our best,
Working our hands to the bone,
Breaking down from some
Terrible disorder.
And the other half
Are just wading around in the kiddie pool,
Trying to find their footing into adulthood,
Or not.

The adults
That were the adults
That raised us
Like to only focus
On the half that's not even trying.

But we're the generation
In waiting.

We all waited to be eleven,
So our Hogwarts letters would come.
Because we wanted to escape
This pointless existence.

Now we're all twenty two or turning so,
Give or take a few months/years,
And we're waiting for the moment
Everything changes.

Waiting on that interview, that promotion, that phone call.
Waiting for someone to confess, waiting to confess,
Or in my case, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

We wait,
Because we were never taught
That our lives were our own,
We were always considered
Tools to be used by others,
Our purpose isn't ours,
And that's not a bad thing.

We're in waiting,
Because we're waiting for someone to save us,
To come to our aid,
To grab our hands
And whisk us away
To a better place.

But maybe if we all stopped waiting,
Maybe if we got up and did things for us,
And therefore each other,
We wouldn't be the generation in waiting--
Rather, the generation of doing.
I must have been raised wrong,
I believe in being generous.
I think people should be loved;
That meanness can be onerous.
I have seen what evil does
And I want no more of that.
I don’t think that selfishness
Will really feed the captain’s cat.

I have watched back biters
And gossips and thieves
Bring themselves all unawares
To the point where everyone grieves.
I have witnessed liars who get
Tripped up on their own tales;
Regular folks and politicians
Get the air taken from their sails.

I know well that our elderly
Have already done their job
So it’s fine with me if they just
Sit around and act like slobs.
They took care of us when we
Were the indolent folks kids are
So, they are entitled to rest,
More than we are, by far.

I was raised to let people be
If they had some philosophy
That did not match mine
Or even the vast majority.
Someone thinks a different way
That’s fine if it hurts no one.
Not everybody thinks the same
Carnival rides are that much fun.

I saw for myself that people
Were individual in so many ways.
Different in how they dressed
And what they had to say.
Some liked sports TV
And many preferred the soaps.
All of that is fine with me
So, why call each other dopes?

Is there something wrong with me
That I don’t go along with the crowd?
That I don’t enjoy the fights,
The sports fans shouting out loud?
Am I silly for not slowing down
When I pass a wreck on the highway?
Well, if I am, then that is fine.
I will go on doing things my way.
 Feb 2017 joel hansen
David
Everyone knew her
For better or worst
The names she was called
**** ***** *****
But did anyone know her
Her pain suffering all in silence
She sits alone as tears fall like weights from her cheeks
Her story never known
Her life harder than most
Secrets only trusted to one
Betrayed time and time again
Heart shattered like mirrors she smashed
Mind at war with itself
Bullied shattered and almost has lost hope but stills pulls through day by day
Remember what we did, how we burned the city down to the ground. We got high and dived into the thrills as we caught and got swallowed up by the flames.

They didn't know... They didn't know they were living amongst creatures of the night, as the lights fade we became alive.

Remember the screams as I invited you in... The passion that fumes my soul and captured all that was embedded in you.

I was everything that was good, everything that was bad. I was in a world where surviving seemed hopeless...  I was hopeless.

I clawed my way through and through, reached the heights searching for you. You were the blood that ran through me... You were me.

I suffered in silence for years, they didn't stop to see if I was ok. I was rebellious, I was proud, so I made it my redemption... We burned the city down to the ground.

Not everyone deserved it... But we walk amongst the most deadliest souls of them all. I took my baggage and stroll to an unknown place... My body shivered when we stood face to face, I stood my ground I held my place...
Its either this or surrendering to the unseen and let it take me down.


S.B
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