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 Nov 2014 Jewel Tiara
calion
13 months ago I experienced the biggest heartbreak I ever had.

12 months ago I was on a high.

11 months ago I made new friends.

10 months ago I did new things.

9 months ago I began writing more and more.

8 months ago I began a new school.

7 months ago I found a new best friend.

6 months ago I tried something different.

5 months ago I met a guy who understood.

4 months ago I began feeling cold.

3 months ago I felt nothing.

2 months ago I missed you.

1 month ago I cried every time I saw the color blue.

but now I realize that I am finally over you.

and oh how sweet it finally is.
Published in The Quill on November 19, 2014:

http://www.amazon.com/Quill-Fall-2014-ebook/dp/B00PNVT6PG

...

On being overweight (whatever that means)

Even if you were the moon, they would complain about how much space you took up in the sky, how you were too bright, wanted too much from the stars, demanded more light than the others.

And when you shifted, from waning to full to waxing to waning, they would remind you of how instable you were, how much of a hassle it was to keep track of your instability, your need for attention. Have you tried to be a vegan yet? All the stars are doing it.

You have tried. In fact, last week was your third try – an attempt, they call it – not enough, they emphasize, try again, they say this as if it is encouragement.

That’s when you found them - the celestial crescent, the earthshine, the perilune, how the lacus are lakes without lakes, why the Gibbous is brighter either way, especially during conjunction – all strung together in pearls.  

You are a full the night you return.

As you reflect off the lake, you see Selene, Hecate, Mani, Tsukuyomi, Iah, and Thoth. You tell the stars to look, to breathe your reflection, to succumb to the glow and the beauty of it all, that you are not alone—

They laugh.

Say how historical that is, how out-of-touch you are, how myths aren’t mirrors, how you -  you are not a mystery at all.

But when you died – if you died – (we still do not know) - they do not wonder where you went. They spin, spin, spin the entire night home, only once confessing to how empty the sky is without your shine.

But every night they burn.
i drank 12 beers yesterday and still remembered your street name
- no one can love me how i love them
- the last meal i ate was three days ago, it was soup
- i woke up with your name on my lips
- 23 years have gone by and I still won't clean my room
- crying in front of you is my worst nightmare
- ******* is keeping me from destroying everything
- "you look like a poem when you cry"
- i think about having *** with you when i'm at work
- red wine puts things into perspective
- i'm sorry but i don't believe a ******* word you say
- music is a form of escapism
- i apologize way too much for my own good
Your roommates are the best people I've ever met and it makes me so sad that I can't play card games or hug them anymore.
2. My taste in music is so much better now because of you.
3. How did I not drink in every prolonged glance you shared with me?
4. I can't listen to Deer Tick anymore because it makes me miss your arms around me at their concert.
5. Your mom is so much cooler than my mom.
6. I felt smarter when I was with you.
7. We should've eaten more.
8. You were right to be angry when I was too tired to go out.
9. The scent of your stomach haunts me.
10. Easter will never be as special as the day I spent with your family.
I.

We exchanged sterling rings beneath a massive willow that wept for us as we carved our names into her and mutilated the thick skin of her base.

II.

You smelled like oak and patchouli and I smelled like gratuitous humility to be wrapping myself up around you like silver paper on a precious stone.

III.

You wore white and I wore black to match our deepest energies that whirl and dance and create beautiful creamy grey when we make love.

IV.

Under twinkling, tiny lights that looked like stars or fairies we linked pinkies amongst the dwindling sun light and an anxious moon.

V.

Our bodies begin to melt and disintegrate because the sparks are becoming too electrified and molten.
i sit here and i lie to your face as if it doesn't hurt you even more than the truth would. why can't i look into your eyes without seeing his words carved into your irises? seeing you cry makes me sick but seeing you smile makes me want to ***** because i'm the only one that seems to know that curve on your face is temporary. they should put me in some sort of solitary confinement for the crime i've committed but it seems the only one who can mend your heart is the one who broke it in the first place. i should have known you were made of glass.
 Nov 2014 Jewel Tiara
Emmy
I'm afraid that if someone were to put a knife to my skin and cut open, all that would erupt from my veins is your name, tucked neatly into the corners, so no one could know how fervently I love you. Even though you're all that is keeping me alive, at times youre all that I think will be the death of me.
 Nov 2014 Jewel Tiara
Emmy
i want
 Nov 2014 Jewel Tiara
Emmy
I want to softly whisper
incomplete poems
on your collar bones
that don't rhyme with anything
but your heavy breathing.

I want to bury my face
in the curves of your neck
because you smell like the winter clouds
and I've been gazing at the sky
since you left.
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