This is a letter to the mother i lost way too soon.
This is for the mother i can only see when i look up to the moon.
I can’t breathe without you, how could you leave me?
I thought i was prepared for the worst case scenario, but this is nothing like i thought it would be
I am dying a little more with every breath i take.
I don’t know how long i can stay alive, i've only lasted this long for your safe.

A letter written to someone hidden in the stars
A letter to a mother who caused me the most scars
A letter i will never be able to send.
A heart so broken i'm not sure it will mend.
I lost my soul when you went into the arms of the angels, leaving me alone.
I didn’t think i could hurt this deep or this much, but i can feel it down to my bone

I am 19 and i don’t know how to live without my mom and dad
I hate it when everyone tells me it is okay to be sad
I am not sad, i am not grieving, i am dying and no one can see it.
I wonder if anyone would even care if i just didn’t fit…
Didn’t fit into this puzzle they call life,
Because when you died i lost my smile, and now all the pain i feel is being stabbed with a knife

A letter i write you will never see
A letter i write because the pain is just too much for me.
A letter baring my soul to anyone who will listen to the pain
A letter to make sure i don’t lose it all and go insane.
This letter is written as tears stream down my puffy red cheeks
Because as i write this letter life slowly leaks…

I am lost in a world full of people who have no idea how close to the edge i am
They think i am surviving, and moving on… then wham!
It hits me again, when i want to dial your number and know there won't be anyone on the line
It hits me hard when i realize i will never be fine
I have tried my best to keep from doing what i know would cause more pain
But it’s too late to keep the thought out of my brain

A letter to anyone who will listen to a broken girls final plea
A letter written, because soon i will give in and no longer be me
A letter to say im sorry for anyone who will be hurt.
A letter to let you know i am okay with being buried in the dirt.
A letter to write my final goodbye,
A letter to write, you have no right to cry.

Another day in bed.
My pillow dry with tears.

You're waiting for another breakdown.
Another plea for help.

You crave me.
You want to corrupt my mind so that I will only be yours.

What hurts, even more, is how much it works.
How much I can't run away from you.

I could leave your apartment.
The door is so close.

Yet, after I cry you just shove your hands down my pants.
We get busy after that.

You make me weak.
You make me vulnerable.

You use me when I am out of strength.
To fulfil your selfish desires.

"Come here, I'll make you feel better."
My thighs are always bruised.

I expected long conversations underneath a sparkly sky.
I expected cuddles and reassurance that everything was alright.

What I got was a torn *****, bloodied bedsheets.
Bruised ankles and red eyes.

I never told you "No."
Because if I did, how would you react?

I didn't tell you this.
But I'm late.

It hasn't come in a month and I got worried.
I spit up blood more than twice a week.

How can I tell you?
You'll ask me to get rid of it.

Yet you keep pushing me.
My limits are breaking.

You're going to hurt them, stop thrusting.
It hurts.

Stop.

A halogen glow
Condensation drips
Winter pressing on the glass
This tired bus rolls on
Bring me home once more.

I do my best writing in the dark,
for it is in the absence of light
that I see you most vividly.

But I'm sure to do all my thinking in the day,
because the sun helps melt away the vision
of your chocolate brown eyes,
carried throughout my memories.

But although your appearance sometimes fades
and the sound of your voice I forget more quickly
than half of my classmates' names,
I will forever hold onto our unforgettable moments
oh-so tightly within my brain.

Because how could I erase the first time we spoke,
or our last goodnight at that football game?
Don't think I'll neglect all the good times we had
just because the two of us are no longer the same.

And who could disregard that summer day,
where I first heard you speak my name,
or each and every one of our conversations
and the silly reasons for which they came?

I know it may seem like I'm filled with hate
from the decision that you made,
but in all honesty I still cling to the hope
that we will be together someday.

So please help me to hold on;
give me the faith that I desire
so that our burnt-out flame can be reborn
into an eternal fire.

And trust in your intuition
so that it can allow you to see
that I am still in love with you
and you were always in love with me.