promises are made to be broken
if not by you then the one's that you love
by God himself
He saw me standing over her
weak skinny arms, long blonde hair
half the size of me
He saw the words flow from my mouth
like icey breath despite the cool Summer evening
He watched me promise my life to her
secure her safety in my own hands
and He must have laughed and thought to Himself
'this boy thinks he can promise a life, promise safety'
and He must have decided to teach me a lesson
out of ten dead girls
you were the only one I promised to save
and He knew that if loneliness couldn't **** me
then broken promises would lead me to **** myself.

"Stay?"
A pleaded entreaty with tears
Soaking the edges of it's echo
Carries from your mouth to my ears
My mind races with leg entwined visions
The sloppy wet heat of our tongues
Swirling
Whispered apologies for years of neglect and bad choices
All could be mine
Yet...
That may be all *this is
Chemical desire in a centrifuge
Until well blended with come **** me
DNA strands
You say you'll be there
Then when most needed
"Where's Waldo?", on the search
You know, even without disease
Our telomeres will eventually decide
When we are finished
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your fingerprints are all over my heart
Love, it's my mind
You've been reaching for all of this time
To only brush it with your fingertips

sitting in the corner
of my bathroom floor
under the sink.
small tears of red paint
are dripping next to me
is it my hand
or is it my red lipstick
that melt in the sun
no one will ever know
neither will I.
I clean the red floor
with a velvet towel
cover my drawn wrists
and wear my sadness
upside down.

I can't help the fact that my mind has control