How can I show
more of myself to you?
What can I show you
to scare you off?
Pervert,
**** at work,
****** addiction rehab,
12-step drop-out,
faith-lost
skeptical mind,
more like cynical
say one thing,
do another;
as confused about me
as you are

And I'm almost out there
first step,
bare all in anonymous groups
second step,
peel back the layers among friends
third step (two forward, one back),
mostly anonymous pouring out the heart
through my poetry in the dark
fourth step,
fully open among all?

I was laughed at the other day
upon sharing my experience with addiction
It didn't really offend me
am I almost ready?

If tomorrow is a good day
Then I will be okay
It was so cold this morning
You could hear the grass freezing
A crackling like glass
And with it my dreams are stashed
A quite chill in the air
Break the silence if you dare
Music  plays through one ear bud
Sometimes life is a dud
I'd love to see snow
I've only seen frost
There's so much I want to know
But most of it seems lost

I love it when you smile, I love it when you don't
I like the way you look at me even if you won't

the sky was turning another shade of blue that night
the kind of color that would remind me of your eyes

for me it was a big deal that you left me without telling
for you it was natural like drinking coffee in the morning
or rain that fell down once in a while on the new car you bought

I just wished you missed me like I miss you
he stole her heart with she couldn't get to his.

all it took
was one look
   and i was yours

the years
   so many
blur into one

a solid sadness
grips my heart

but a smile
taps my soul
   for i did love you

yes, i did love you.