I look around constantly
I slide down in my seat
I hate looking in the mirror
I hide from me
Their words scare me

I roam the hallways with my head down
I speak only when spoken to
I'm not the one people walk over to
Kayla who?
They have no clue

I sit alone at lunch
When I eat I never crunch
I sit in a hunch
It controls me
I cannot finish
I stand and walk away quickly

My skin has gone prickly
As it does every day
My hand accidentally brushes against someone familiar in the hallway
"Geez! Your hands feel like ice! Why are you always freezing?"
I mumble the excuse of a cold lunch
I stumble away

Thirteen, maybe fourteen?
I hear my step dad say the cause of **** is a woman's clothing
Eleven, maybe twelve?
I'm on the ground
The voices all around me don't hear my cries
I wish I'd die.
Nine, maybe ten?
I wake up alone and run to the neighbors
My daddy has been drinking again
He makes excuses
None of which I believe
But I smile and nod
What he doesn't know
Is his words make me bleed
Seven, maybe eight?
I never knew why I made the call to my mother that morning
About the beer cap I found in the chair
Until now
After all, it was just one, right?

a sensual curve
to the facade

- infinite femininity -

arched above
rounded windows

- innuendos art of love -

deco of desire
climbing higher

- echoing fire -

...descending spiral stairway
home to shanty on the bay.

r ~ 10/9/14

Sunup
expectations low-
another day aimed my way

- till the sky became
a color never named
and changed my world - again,

a new day.

r ~ 10/12/14

burn
burn
burn me
on fire
hold your match up to me
as the flames lick me
inhale smoke
I feel lighter