"I'm getting better"
I tell myself every day
Then I see her picture
I hear her name
I pass by that spot
I remember that day
My heartbeat stops
The whole world seems to fade
My love floods back in
Along with the pain
I try to accept it
It will never be the same
"She left it's ok
Somtimes people change"

Memories, cruel and vivid.
Every detail of a life once lived.
Of the happily ever after that once existed.
When a ring and my heart were her gifts.
I can remember every moment.
Of every single day.
The gift of a beautiful memory.
Yet a price there is to be paid.
Those moments will never leave me.
Forever imprisoned in my brain.
The most beautiful moments live on.
In my mind over and over replayed.
But I've found beauty hurts the worst.
Because in the beautiful I still feel her.
Reminded of the home I once had to go to.
Our love once alive, now lay burned.

Weather it brings joy
Or is pours out pain and tears
Do somthing today
That you'll remember in fifty years

Live your life.
Even if it kills you.

If I screamed "Someone help!"
Would you hear me?
If I never came back
Would you care?
If I showed you the scars on my chest
Would you do anything but stand there and stare?
If I told you all that has happened
Would you see but a glimpse of my pain?
Would you stay by my side and be there for me?
Or like everyone else tell me I'm insane?

Tell me again you care, as I cry myself back to sleep.

Tell me again you understand, a pain beyond what you've ever seen.

Tell me again your here for me, as I sit in the corner alone

Tell me again you know, a darkness you could never dreamed to have known.

Tell me again that you've been there, as I feel the blood stream down my chest.

Tell me again it gets better, as my weeks turn to months with no rest.

Tell me again to move on, while I still love her with all of my heart.

And I know I'll never be able to stop even if we're forever apart.

She is gone.

She isn't coming back.

As I look back straining to see her.

Grasping for a thread of hope.

Hoping that it was only a dream.

A terrible nightmare.

Clinging to belief.

Believing that the fairy tale exists.

Existing to love her.

Loving her because it's who I am.

Refusing to let go.

Because if I did I would be letting go of myself.

Of everything I ever loved.

Of the only home I ever had.

.....

She's gone.

She isn't coming back.