Wolf Blankets
St. Louis Blues Throw
Axe Body Spray
Cotton Candy Vape Juice
Teddy Bear
Favorite Shirt
Batman Joggers

And at the end of the day,
These old things are new
Because each one reminds me,
Each one smells like you.

One word,
A thousand diagnoses,
And every fear in the dark world.

But every possibility,
A thousand ways to help,
And one truth:

We will find a way.

She is a deep ocean blue in a world of desert beige,
For the water always makes the sand look better.
She is a wonderful black cat, purring her way across the room,
Her pads touching the floor with every delicate step.
Her claws are sharp,
But only if she shows them to you.
And her magick is strong,
Because she believes.
She will lead you through the thicket,
Slinking long through the bushes,
And showing you to a wonderful clearing,
Alight with creatures and enchantment alike.
Her aura swirls about her, golden and bright,
But she is humble, she is kind, she is wise.
She is strong, but she will yield,

And as Lao Tzu has said,

"He does not show off, therefore he shines.
He does not justify himself, therefore he is revered.
He does not boast, therefore he is honored.
He does not praise himself, therefore he remains.
Because he opposes no one,
No one in the world can oppose him,"

There she is,
The strongest of any,
She who knows how to yield and overcome.

I remember wearing black nail polish with glittery blue tips.
I remember the feeling, the fear,
The terror in your eyes when I cried out,
When you knew that there was nothing that could be done to help.
How much pain, and my tears rained down,
Anger in your eyes at how helpless you felt.
To see me like that,
To think that there was nothing you could do,
When I finally felt myself ripping, tearing apart.

Hello goodbye,
You're early this time.
Wasn't it just yesterday when I last saw you?

And now that I think of it,
The deed was not so hard done.
Given the conditions,
Given how perfectly it was laid out.

He hurt you, but he cannot hurt anyone else now.
He cannot ruin another young child's life and he can never reach down the pants of anyone again.

Call me mad, call me crazy, but I have done what no one was prepared to do.
I listened to her and I became livid.
What he had done, what he had said.
His actions and what he told her to say,
How he told her to 'keep quiet',
'It's a game.'

Now tell me old man,
Are you laughing as I watch above you,
scarlet streams travelling down your neck and soaking the mattress beneath you?
Do you think it's a game,
Awakening to a knife at your person,
millimeters away from taking whatever air you have left in you?

Now you can laugh no more,
You cannot hurt anyone again.
While the blood oozes in the sheets and you lay there dull,
Shadows cast themselves across your face
And I find myself also wishing that you are ******.

And now, I must clean up. Or better yet,
I will stay here. I will sit here until someone comes to check on you.
And then they will see the scene and I will not need to confess,
I will not plead not guilty.
The deed was done by me and I am not afraid for whatever comes next.
I am not afraid of the consequences,
They can do whatever they must.
I will tell them of what you've done.
I will tell them why I did what I did,
And I will not apologize for taking what was left of the miserable life you had.

Watch,
   as I become everything you want me to be.
Listen,
   and maybe you could hear me crying at night.
Watch,
   as I finally become perfect in your eyes.
Listen,
   and you might hear me finally rip in two,
Between who I should be and who I am.

Do me a favor.
Promise me something.
Promise me anything.
But this time,
Keep your promise.
Stay forever like you said you would.

Doubt me all you want.
Worry all you want.
Fragility does not mean weakness,
You are my strength.
I feel better when you care than if you would not.

If I were to die,
I'd want my life to end in fire.
Because if ice were to take me
I would not feel the warmth of your love engulfing me.

What

Do

You

Do

When

You're

Terrified

Of

Everything?

And once again,
It's 6 am,
You can tell I've been crying
I think I'm just done trying.
And I'll never really get
Why I choose to go and bet
Against myself one day,
And the next I feel okay.

But that's alright,
Because there will always be spite.
And hatred for the past,
Do good things ever last?
I think maybe not,
I kind of hope that my last thought.
Because if I choose to be so cynical
Maybe you won't take me so literal.

"The heart no longer beats because it's
taken too many falls,
And all that's there to catch it is the
cold, hard ground."

I wanted to write a poem
But I became so exasperated at the fact that
I could not find the words.
I became frustrated and deleted every word I wrote,  
Only to find myself here,
Writing what you are reading now.

I
Wish
You
Knew
The
Way
I
Speak
About
You