I live in a distant fantasy
I play the role as whoever I awake
You see, the reality I lead is something I can't shake
I stand in slow motion while the rest of the world keeps spinning
Unsure of who I am or where's the beginning
Feelings only lukewarm
Surrounded by a catastrophic storm
Opening umbrellas inside
'Cause I can't seem to escape the rain
Resisting all the grudges and the pain
I never understood the mantra "fight or flight"
'Cause I was never one for confrontation
And I've never been ready for the departure
I've only been one to wait and harbor
So here I lay atop a bed of flowers
The dark cloud hovering above begins to shower
Watering every plant and every seed
Blossoming a new path from my lonely tower
Everyone knows there's beauty in a storm
*But nobody ever tells you what it's like to be so worn

i have so many thorns in my body, that i forgot all the places i've been bleeding. you bleed me out, you can. and that's okay.
i'm aching. i ached to taste you and i still ache,
but the question is, would you
even wait long enough to let me have the chance?
to be waiting and being disappointed by a bitter fruit
or waiting and never finding out the sting.
i'm not sure what is worse.

is it possible to drown before
you take a dive into the
deep end of the pool?
or is the self pity the pool itself?

does weakness constitute
as a fabrication for other people's flaws or
is it simply a plan that failed to start?
i know my blind sides, but i've had so many
bittersweet "almosts" and close enough "maybes"
that heartbreak has become my favorite flavor.