Today I felt the urge to fall down a flight of stairs, and when I say fall
I mean,
           jump,
                     plummet
                                   and plunge.

I wanted to feel something, a pain that wasn't already carried within me.

I could imagine the weightlessness I  would have felt as my body relaxed,
how time would have appeared hampered as if altered by my sudden descent.

That numbing pain as each step would buffet my spine and finally the  ominous silence that preludes my last breath while my misery pools around me glistening for all to see.

though sadly...


.             I live in a bungalow

I see you everywhere, but you are nowhere to be found.

It's crazy to think that every day of life puts us closer to death. I mean it's life that kills us. Living is a slow suicide. Time is the pills we take, the calories we refuse to eat. Choosing to stay alive or choosing to die- in the end, the only thing that separates them is a handful of years and the questions we ask that never get answered.

                                                               Right?
                                                               Agnes

I learned more
About myself from the guys
Who never gave themselves
The chance to break my heart

There is something
So safe
About a road
You've never been on

Let god into you're heart they say and put you're faith in him, but what they don't know is that I'm a demon and the devil's already in.

Oh how nice it must be too sleep, to lay in a dream that's mine too keep, to play in a land of my minds own construction, to nest in my bed's slumbering seduction.

But dreams were never meant for me, for when I'm in bed my mind never feels free, its trapped in reality how dearly I plea, howbeit dreams were never meant for me.

Too fearful of what my mind can conjure, fresh tortures to use as the monsters grow stronger, they saunter and strut in the prison that is she, for sweet dreams were never meant for me.