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23.4k · May 2017
Seeing You (Again)
JAC May 2017
Seeing you
makes me
miss you
more.
A cyclical poem, one of my all-time favourites.
JAC Jul 2018
The rain drapes the windshield in sheets
and the radio doesn't reach any stations

cold integrity darkens the interior
of Alex's rusty crimson Camaro

it's never this quiet on the highway
sliding between light and lightning

laid bare by a flash across the sky
naked at the sound of thunder

what use is running away
if all you can do is drive.
Back to the Camaro reference, I guess? It seems to be some sort of vessel for nostalgiac feelings and a longing for memories that have never actually happened, which I don't mind.
4.2k · Apr 2017
The Sea and the Clouds
JAC Apr 2017
The sea is vast as the clouds are rolling
And in between is air.
They'll never touch, though never falter
And this just isn't fair:

The clouds and sea wish to meet, you see
But they can never be together
For powers that be keep sky from the sea;
They're only bound by weather.

When it rains, the clouds can touch the sea
Gently, caress in wave -
The clouds give all they have to her
But the sea, it must behave.

The sea is aware, that through the air
Is something she never can touch,
But when calm, she reflects the beauty of the clouds
And they smile when they see this much.

So resigned, the two stay far apart
And the clouds look longingly to sea
For they see the weather, reflection and more
That they know can never, ever be.
JAC Apr 2017
Nothing would make me happier
than if I were purely selfless,
but then I'd be happiest
and I'd have only served myself.
3.2k · Nov 2018
How You Feel
JAC Nov 2018
I want you
to tell me
how you feel
but right now
I still only
want you to
tell me how
you feel when
you feel the
way I want
you to feel
and it's hard
but I'm trying.
JAC Aug 2017
He was going to get her a little plant,
and would be teensy-tiny and green
and the little plant would never die.

He would name it "Neville",
and she would giggle at the name
and the little plant would never die.

He would find her a little cactus,
or an aloe plant that had no spikes
(so she wouldn't ***** her fingers),
and the little plant would never die.

He would remind her to water it,
and she would tell him she forgot,
and it was a good thing he reminded her,
and the little plant would never die.

He would go over and visit it,
and he would visit her while he was at it,
and the little plant would never die.

He would bring her books about plants,
so she would know all about hers,
and the little plant would never die.

He would sing the plant little songs
when he visited the plant and her,
and she would like those little songs,
and the little plant would never die.

He would whisper I love you
to the plant, of course,
but she would hear it,
and the little plant would never die.

He would hear her say it too,
and he would understand,
and the little plant would never die.

But he did not get her a little plant.
The little plant would never die,
but she was not a little plant.
I don't mean for the title to be so cliché, but at the same time, I do. Clichés happen.
JAC Oct 2016
The last orange leaf on a tree in autumn
Stares down at a little girl, playing.
Gold, orange, brown, the leaf shivers, cold
In the half-hearted, cold-hearted breeze.
"Hold on, little leaf!", the girl calls up -
The leaf trembles light in answer.
"I like you up there, don't go, don't go,
"There are too many leaves fallen here."
Battered by wind, and gusts of fall
The leaf holds tight to her branch;
The shivering colour glistens in mist
Weighing down, but she does not fall.
The girl came back daily, as October got colder,
For all she could do was watch -
This leaf was beautiful, but frail and tired;
The only leaf left on that tree.
It held on for long, and that girl was so proud!
But after all, it was not long enough:
One aching morning, the leaf pulled her stem
From the branch she clung to, so dear.
She fluttered and flew, was tossed about so
Missing branches, evading the ground -
The wind blew her forth, lift'd her in flow
Till the wind saw the little girl below.
The orange caught her eye, and she laughed with delight
And ran after that gold leaf in flight -
Up did she jump, and on ground she'd alight
In her small hands: the sunny little leaf.
She knew, as did the leaf, that in days she'd crumple
And grey and darken and brown,
But for now and the next few beautiful moments
The leaf was safe; the little girl, happy.
Did the girl save the leaf? No, not at all;
It was chance that the wind saw her there -
Such are the seasons, for too many reasons,
*The orange leaf just happened to matter.
2.1k · Jul 2017
Instructions for 5:49 a.m.
JAC Jul 2017
Eyes open
                             Mild panic
                   Look around
(Quiet)
Realize              
            Pause
   Process
                            (Quiet)    
(Quiet)      ­      
       (Quiet)
Glow-in-the-dark stars                                  
                                      None to speak of
(Quiet)          
        (Quiet)
                        ­   (Quiet)
        Conclude
Roll out of bed              
                                           Careful not to wake you
(Quiet)
Locate shirt                  
        Pull on jeans
                                (Quiet)
Still dark            
     You like dark
                                                (Quiet)
  ­             Phone
   Keys
Wallet        
Headphones          
(Quiet)                                                      
Stand            
                Hand on door
Wait                        
Look          
       Still asleep
                 (Quiet)
Paper from your notebook                        
                                  Pen from nightstand
Calligraphy pen
           Didn't know that
(Quiet)                  
                  You wrote down a dream last night
                                       "Dreamed I was safe, happy, in love"
Says sleepy cursive                                      
                     (Quiet)
          (Quiet)
(Quiet)  
Write below                    
                       "So did I"
              (Quiet)
Back to door          
                      Don't look back
Don't look back                
              Don't look back
(Quiet)                
                                   Look back
           (Quiet)      
                      (Quiet)
(Quiet)        ­
            Open door
                  Escape                        
           ­  (Quiet)
                          Through your hall
(Quiet)  
Messy kitchen        
Don't remember seeing this                                      
                 Must have been dark
(Quiet)                      
Shoes must have been kicked off
                                                     Found them
                                       Close front door
                   Still dark outside
(Quiet)            
(Quiet)                          ­  
        (Quiet)
Too early for train                          
                   Too far to walk
(Quiet)              
   (Quiet)
(Quiet)                              
Smile guiltily        
               (Quiet)
       (Quiet)
*(Quiet).
Essentially a continuation of the previous poem,
"An Appalling Lack of Glow-in-the-Dark Stars".
2.0k · Jul 2017
Beautiful People
JAC Jul 2017
There is
an abundance
of beautiful people,
for beauty
should be
in your mind.
As if you weren't already aware.
1.8k · Jan 2017
A Raindrop Like You
JAC Jan 2017
What comes down
must first have been up
but we all must start
in the sea.
1.8k · May 2018
Toothpaste (a short story)
JAC May 2018
I could put it into specifics by describing your toothpaste. No matter how recently you had bought it, that sorry tube was always a mangled mess. Twisted, creased, folded plastic or whatever it was, topped with a messy, half-open, broken-hinged, ineffective cap. Slathered with the blue-and-white residue of rushed mornings and tired nights. Exhausted. Does toothpaste try? It gets the job done, sure. But you probably waste half the toothpaste by destroying the tube like that.

You were like this with many things. Exhausted, a little bit crumpled and always partially wasted. Like toothpaste, I know you were always trying, and you nearly always succeeded at whatever you were doing, you were just often left with something not finished to your own standards. Dissatisfied with your own success. As I'm sure toothpaste is when you have a fine smile but still end up needing a filling again. Toothpaste does a good job, you must understand. We are just sometimes careless, and we sometimes don't have the time we need. We all still end up needing to schedule a dentist's appointment once in awhile.

Nobody likes the dentist. They’re bound to be good people, dentists, but I’ve never met anyone that doesn’t dread the dentist’s throne. Really, we’re supposed to avoid them - the whole goal is to never have reason to see the dentist, right? But we always do. For a regular check-up at least, if we can remember to book the appointment, as much as we may want to get out of it. Something that should be so easy to get out of, had you just brushed your teeth right all the time. So toothpaste is never as effective as you want it to be. But maybe that’s what makes it so satisfying - squeezing the life out of that tube, you can feel like you have power over the inevitable. That’s what you wanted.
1.7k · Feb 2017
In Memories
1.6k · Jan 2017
Kites
JAC Jan 2017
You can be likened to a kite
Bright, vibrant, fun
And you fly higher
The longer the string you are given
And I know
Even though I know nothing
That you would soar
With nothing tied to your ankle.
JAC May 2017
All at once, all of a sudden
There was a cacophony of you
Resounding around my head
And quietly I imploded outward
****** into the very sounds
Your voice made in my mind
Because they sounded so good
I had to have them to keep
But instead of having them
They took me as a prisoner
Of a war that doesn't matter
And refused to give me back
So I'm left in a state of willing limbo
Ricocheting off the inside of my thoughts
Losing track of the times I think of you
Tallying the times you think of me
I could count on my fingers, I'm sure
But my thoughts don't have hands.
JAC Jul 2017
The empress of the lighthouse
can see for years and nautical miles
and she can never be lost at sea.

The empress of the lighthouse
could save every sailor who smiles,
but she doesn't.

The empress of the lighthouse
is empress only of a house
when she leaves the light off.

The empress of the lighthouse
got tired of waiting for ships to come in,
so she doused the light in her seafront tower.

Now everyone she loves
and everyone who loves her
*will forever be lost at sea.
1.3k · Apr 2017
Falling Temporarily in Love
JAC Apr 2017
Imagine how many people
Have fallen temporarily in love with you
On the train
On the street
In the car
In your room
Or after you'd fallen in love with them.
1.3k · Nov 2016
The Daydreamer
JAC Nov 2016
Daydreamer, daydreamer
Dream 'way your day
In hopes that, maybe this time,
They'll let you away
Away from your day, and all that lies in it
In your day is a nightmare, reality's within it
For what's real is for night,
which you shan't repeat
And the terrors in day
contribute t'your defeat.
Day and night
Night and day
You dream away
So you don't stay
In your broken day
And your shattered night
So maybe you might
Dream things out right;
Daydreamer, daydreamer
Dream 'way the night
So you won't have to wake
'Cause it won't feel right.
1.2k · Jun 2017
Carpenter
JAC Jun 2017
Carpenter, carpenter
With hammer and nails
Fix all your problems
'Till something else fails
When something does
You're not to blame
It's the end of your youth
The end of this game
You've built what you needed
And fixed what you could
But this adult life
Isn't made of wood.
1.2k · Jul 2017
If Only It Were That Easy
1.2k · Feb 2017
A Gorgeous Day Today
JAC Feb 2017
It's a gorgeous day
Outside today
Enough to say
You'll pave the way
For it to be better than yesterday.
1.2k · Jul 2017
The Tired Poet's Paradise
JAC Jul 2017
"Sometimes I tire
of poems
about poets,"*

said the poet.
1.2k · Mar 2017
Getting Over Myself
JAC Mar 2017
Well
I guess
It's over
And I've
Got nothing
To do, other than
Get over myself, now.
1.2k · Jul 2018
Questions
JAC Jul 2018
It's okay to
question love
sometimes

you can't
find answers
without questions

and solutions
don't start
without answers.
1.2k · Oct 2018
I'm Afraid to Admit
JAC Oct 2018
Dear man in the moon,

I wish to know what it is
you've to teach me from this,
and would you perhaps consider
taking unsolicited requests?
I seem to have found myself
the happiest I've ever been;
please allow in the thought
of not taking this away
from me, from them
I'll not say this lightly
but I need them.
1.2k · Jan 2017
What I Write About
JAC Jan 2017
I
write
about
that
which
I
do
not
understand,
in
hopes
that
maybe­
I'll
come
close
to
understanding.
1.1k · Nov 2018
This is the Future
JAC Nov 2018
We fall asleep sometimes in the snow and you sing to yourself in the wrong keys
sometimes we don't speak but I have everything I've ever wanted and so much life left.
JAC Aug 2017
Here's to
sad songs
and dancing
through the kitchen
in our sweaters and underwear
when we should most certainly be asleep.
1.1k · Feb 2017
Shades of Me
JAC Feb 2017
There are shades of me and shades of you
As there are shades of red and shades of blue
Some shades ugly, some shades true
But I'll let you paint on me shades of you
If you do too
Indeed, we'll be
The most beautiful shade of purple
The world will ever see.
1.1k · Jun 2017
Goodmorning, Sleepyhead
JAC Jun 2017
Mornings are unparalleled
When you didn't expect
To wake up
From the night before.
JAC Jun 2017
Diana was a dreamer.
She wished to sail away
On a sailboat made of reverie
To let her mind wander.
"Why, sail away?" you ask,
"It's such a bad cliché!
Writer, writer,
Be more original", you say.
But no, I can't, see:
This Diana wished to sail
And if you disbelieve that
She's surely destined to fail.
Diana wished to sail far,
For she knew she couldn't fly
(And talk of cliché!)
But she knew to sail a boat.
Why sail, why, it's easy:
If you knew no other escape
Wouldn't you take that route?
If you could fly, you'd fly.
So she could sail
And that, she did.
You'll notice, here,
I haven't told you why
Or where she chose to sail.
Well, I don't know!
Are you surprised?
Gosh, I didn't ask her where!
She just up and left,
But I know she's happy there.

The sailboat in question
Is a sight for sore lies:
Sails of soft green
And gold like her eyes.
It smells of the sea
And all that is sweet
And under those sails
Is such a lovely retreat.
This boat, while lovely
Requires much care:
No assembly required,
But imagination and flair
Are what makes this boat run
For, it's imaginary, of course
And only Diana can see this sailboat;
In her mind, forever, it'll be.
This was written quite some time ago, I'm intrigued by how much my writing style has changed.
1.1k · Apr 2017
Consuming Confidence
JAC Apr 2017
Put down your bottle
Drink some fresh air
You can't conjure hell
If you're already there
Stop sipping confidence
This ichor wears out
It empties anxieties
Then fills you with doubt.
1.1k · Jul 2018
Epigram 074 (1974)
JAC Jul 2018
We sat quietly in the car that never moved
covered in the busy shadows of the garage
you told me I'm proud of you, you know that?
and to silence we returned.
In honour of the 74th poem in my Epigram 000 collection, the year of my father's beloved 1974 Chevrolet Camaro. I began the series of short, curious pieces of disjointed stories on New Year's Day of 2018 with "Epigram 001", writing at one or two fragments every week of this year.
1.0k · Aug 2018
A Shining Spark
JAC Aug 2018
They said you'll go places, kid
I heard it so often I believed it

I could be this shining spark
hope for a fire from nowhere

but like nearly every other spark
I crashed lightly into the grass

flared up once
and flickered out
into the darkness.
998 · May 2017
All to Myself
JAC May 2017
There's triumph in each step
Walking timidly home
Looking down
So no one can see the grin
Spread generously across my face
Or the love marking my neck
Because, selfishly,
I want it all to myself.
JAC Apr 2017
Waiting to see the love of my life
Home as a husband, in love with a wife
In a dream I can see it, she'll walk through the door
So I'm waiting to see the love of my life.

She'll be with child, and happy as me
We'll hear the news and shout happily
Find comfort inside a home of our own
For she'll be with child, and happy as me.

I'll be a good father, your mom loves you so
We'll show you love denied to us so
You'll grow up and be so much better than me
So I'll be a good father, your mom loves you so.

I'm waiting to see my love, my wife
We made it so far, we were good to this life
Our love has grown up now, with loves of their own
Now I'm waiting to see my love, my life.
985 · Oct 2017
The Space Between Sounds
JAC Oct 2017
You will feel the space
between sounds,
between your fingers
and your faces,

it will hurt your ears
to communicate
any desire to touch,
to see, to hear,

and when you taste
their absense,
it will become far too easy
to long for their perfume
on your pillows.
983 · Nov 2016
Scarves
JAC Nov 2016
Swallowed by scarves
Are the rose-speckled cheeks
And snow-freckled noses
Of shivering lovers.
Wrapped in each other
Are the harmonized breaths
And warm, empty whispers
Of comfortable disappointment.
973 · Mar 2017
A Little Trick of the Light
JAC Mar 2017
Like a candle in a hurricane
We flickered out in the wind
And anyone who saw us burning
Thought it must have just been
A little trick of the light.
JAC Jul 2017
Once, he was asked,
"Tell me what is true.
Why is it that you
write just what you do?"

He laughed, and said
with half a smile,
"I write so you'll
fall in love for a while."

After a pause, he said pleasantly,
"Not with me - I'm a liar, you see,"

And grinning wildly,
he spoke his conclusion:
"Love is a poet's favourite illusion."
As requested, the full version of the poem that long-adorned my bio.
926 · Apr 2017
Remaining Human
JAC Apr 2017
You see I wish beyond wishes
to remain human with you
we'll change and grow
and age and slow
but in the end
we'll prove
we're just
human.
920 · Dec 2016
A Tiresome Flower
JAC Dec 2016
You are
Addicted to blossoming
And yet
Afraid of being a seed.
907 · Feb 2019
Part of Me and Piece of You
JAC Feb 2019
There's a little piece of you in me
and a little part of me in you

a part of me I miss and look for
a piece of you you think you've lost

when I find you with that part of me
and you see me with that piece of you

we'll approach each other cautiously
pulled together easily

by the part of me and piece of you

that will be, eventually
the piece that completes you
and the part that completes me.
905 · May 2017
Things That Talk
JAC May 2017
"For a moment,"
Said their lips,
Warm, but fleeting

"It's okay,"
Said the rain,
Falling again

"I missed you,"
Said your bed,
Empty and tired

"Not today,"
Said the night,
Long and dull

"Maybe next time,"
Said the morning,
Sleepy and still

"Just wait,"
Said the week,
Dragging on

"Just breathe,"
Said the sidewalk,
Every day

"You're fine,"
Said the wind,
Colder than them

"I need you,"
Said your heart,
Resigned and dry

"..."
Said your lips,
Silent.
889 · Mar 2017
Another Note to Self
JAC Mar 2017
To whom I hate:
If I truly knew you
I wouldn't hate you
Such is life.
JAC May 2017
There's a soft blue spark
That materializes in the smallest of moments
That illuminates those that love
Whoever they may be
And we can see it, that blue glow.
Just like a fire never chooses where to burn
A spark never chooses where to find itself:
Between animal and friend;
Between fingertips during a movie neither cares for;
Between the flick of your smile
And the words on a page
Or the flash on a screen;
Between mother in mind
And child that may only be there too;
Between laughs that bubble up
When nowhere and nothing clash;
Between one here and one far,
Or one here and one gone.
We fall in love with those sparks of love
And they show us just how to do so -
Teaching you how to teach,
Showing you how to show,
And they care not for who
For what
For when
For why
For how;
They simply show.
866 · Aug 2018
Epigram 085
JAC Aug 2018
In flirtatious quiet
we dodge eye contact
and escape studious looks
in hope that one might fall in love
with the other without even a single word.
858 · Apr 2017
Differences or Blemishes
JAC Apr 2017
Differences
Are but blemishes on the surface
Of safety, comfort, love and strength
But blemishes hurt like hell.
JAC Feb 2017
Don't be sad
Life is just
Death's coping mechanism.
Maybe someday
He'll find another way
And we'll never get lost again.
JAC Feb 2018
Reaching elevator doors
heart crashing to standstill
breath ripped from lips
cold twisting, poison heat

no no no no no scream your ears
pounding the walls, ground floor
down down down shout your hands
clattering earthquake on steel

your eyes swimming in disbelief
ground floor get to ground floor
slow descent watches free fall
where is the ground, tell me please

they are not gone doors opening
are you okay stranger you've terrified
run run get out get out they are not
gone gone gone echo rattles your skull

panic tearing throat from neck
you could have done more say walls
burst outside cars screaming like mother
lost child gone gone gone no no no

suffocating outside too no escape
not today no no no there is no air
black go lights you've hit your head
it echoes gone gone gone gone gone

gone gone gone gone gone
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