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JAC Jul 2020
How do we
show you that
this is not
something we
want to be
fighting for
'til we pass
torches to
children who
just begin
fighting where
we left off?
A little on the note, but it probably isn't the time for subtext anyway.
Black lives matter.
May 2020 · 343
So Who Are We Now?
JAC May 2020
Empty suites
and a sea of tents
on the rainy streets.
Apr 2020 · 175
Everest
JAC Apr 2020
Now the oxygen is thin
and bodies lay in snow-capped caves
we'e weighted down by heavy lids
carrying today's rations
and yesterday's burden

one of your breaths is three of mine
sleeping as easy as seeing
in white-outs too far up
nowhere is warm anymore
and we're telling tales of altitude sickness
while coughing into our sleeves.
It's been a long time again, I hope you're all well.
Dec 2019 · 174
In Summer Fields
JAC Dec 2019
For a time I wrote poems on the subway
my eyes were bright and green

I grinned and spoke in crystal tongue
and wrote what little I'd seen

I didn't see what I thought I saw
as the seed sees not the ground

but perennials in summer fields
will watch the bloomers assume

that photos keep their colour
when instead they leave no room

for pictures on a dreaming wall
lifted out of you

now I sit writing poems on the subway
a duller shade of blue.
It feels like every time I come back here it's been a long time. I get excited when I receive an email saying someone enjoyed something I wrote, and it makes me wish I wrote more. This is a poem about just that.
Nov 2019 · 452
I From Another Reality
JAC Nov 2019
I saw myself on the bus today
standing slightly taller
I cut my hair, had stronger arms
and finally tailored my sleeves

I saw myself, a better version
a glimpse into another time
where I was me and not myself
and things must have been different, right?

but then I saw the look on my face
the same tired grin in my eyes
and even I from another reality
would see the same as the real me.
Oct 2019 · 225
Gardens
JAC Oct 2019
This idea
of gardener and flower
is the wrong idea

we are both gardens and gardeners
we tend to ourselves
and sometimes we share seeds

the more we share seeds
the more we grow into each other

so one day soon
we may be one garden
tending to the flowers together.
Oct 2019 · 461
Me From Another Reality
JAC Oct 2019
I saw myself on the bus today
standing slightly taller
I cut my hair, had stronger arms
and finally tailored my sleeves

I saw myself, a better version
a glimpse into another time
where I was me and not myself
and things must have been different, right?

but then I saw the look on my face
the same tired grin in my eyes
and even I from another reality
would see the same as the real me.
Sep 2019 · 143
You I See
JAC Sep 2019
I was told it would happen
and I dismissed it as imagination

but now I know I was wrong then:
I see you in places you'll never be again.
Sep 2019 · 245
You I Knew
JAC Sep 2019
Today I recall every time we spoke
and every time we didn't
and I tell myself I knew you
but I didn't

what I knew is that you were unstoppable
a force of integrity and passion
golden and swift
and I wish I knew you
when I had the chance to.
Sep 2019 · 254
You I Saw
JAC Sep 2019
It's so nice to see you I said
but when you turned around it wasn't you
and someone else hurried away, confused
I didn't think anything of it
until I knew
the last time I saw you
it wouldn't even be you.
Aug 2019 · 252
The Forest
JAC Aug 2019
You blink
in the depths of a sparkling forest
full and rich with sweet colour and sound
a vibrance and power dense with life

blink again
and you are all that's left standing
hot and splintered in a blackened silence
the sky pushed away by a mass of death

blink once more
the earth and sky stay dark.
Jul 2019 · 334
The Me of You
JAC Jul 2019
The me that loves you
and the you that loves me
are part of me
and part of you

the me that loves you
and the you that loves me
is the me that I see
when I see you in me

the good in me
is the good in you
the learning of me
is the teaching of you

the you that loves me
built the me that is you
and the me that is you
is the best of me.
JAC Jun 2019
Today we were
talking about
yesterday and
tomorrow we
will talk about
today somehow
even though
today never
happened because
we spent the day
talking about
yesterday
today.
JAC May 2019
A drop of you
and instantly
I am you
and you are me.
It's been a while, but I absolutely love this one. Got me excited again.
JAC Mar 2019
The texture of your voice
in the dark is soft leather
and coffee in the morning
stones on hot afternoons
to sweaters in the evening
but that is just a single day.
Feb 2019 · 823
Part of Me and Piece of You
JAC Feb 2019
There's a little piece of you in me
and a little part of me in you

a part of me I miss and look for
a piece of you you think you've lost

when I find you with that part of me
and you see me with that piece of you

we'll approach each other cautiously
pulled together easily

by the part of me and piece of you

that will be, eventually
the piece that completes you
and the part that completes me.
Feb 2019 · 316
Here
JAC Feb 2019
That day I decided
I'd stay here forever.
Been a while.
Jan 2019 · 338
Epigram 109
JAC Jan 2019
No wonder
I love you.
JAC Jan 2019
It was sweet of you to sit beside me tonight
I needed someone to listen to the air with me
the two of our faces submerged in a mess
of cold winds and wintery spite and sounds
coats pulled to our ears covered in wool hats
shivers peddling their little dances through us
tremors from the soft of our shoulders
to the flats of our fingertips and holding tight
to our chests trying their best to force even breaths
we sat and waited for whatever we waited for
each unhappy with circumstances we dismissed
in a coat-and-glove-inducing January whisper
too early to be dark out and too late for light
but it was sweet of you to sit beside me.
Jan 2019 · 251
Epigram 104
JAC Jan 2019
Some say
the moon favours
those who listen to it

and some
have never listened
to the moon.
JAC Dec 2018
The first few trains in the morning
in early January are still so dark

you'll feel as if you're still sleeping
trying to make out familiar buildings

we're only now recovering from holiday glow
so no one here wants to be here

but out the window is a hint of comfort
a whisper that the week will so soon end

if you blink they'll wink right back
the flickering blue and yellow lights

of home.
Dec 2018 · 412
A Sweet Dream
JAC Dec 2018
Tonight I'll swim in your sweater
and I'll dream of waking up

in a soft nest of white gold
with your messy hair

teasing the freckles
off my tired nose.
Dec 2018 · 187
Epigram 101
JAC Dec 2018
I had a space
in the shape of you
before I knew you
were even a shape.
Dec 2018 · 266
Lego Blocks
JAC Dec 2018
I'm aware that we construct our realities
I guess I just stopped building when you left.
JAC Dec 2018
To the old blue bicycle
chained to the pipes
on the corner of University
and Dundas street West

I saw you first in early October
showing off my new shoes
walking to work on Sunday
you were prized and new
a little scratched but true
with speedy silver highlights

the next time I saw you
you had lost your front tire
someone needed it more than you did
and perhaps you willingly offered

by the end of the month
you had no more silver
and both your tires were missing
you hung by your chain
your paint peeling in pain
but again I just walked past you

when it first snowed too early
I found you again on the ground
once sturdy, gleaming and fast
now rusted, robbed and hollow

you and I have much in common
old blue bike on University avenue
we both were once so strong and proud
but little by little we were pulled apart
someone needed each piece more than we did
and we thought we could help so we gave

now we're both our own rusted frames
scattered and empty in the busy street.
Dec 2018 · 501
In Also the Worst of Winter
JAC Dec 2018
Let's hold hands and skate on the river
we'll waste away the winter together

not just in the sweet sugar snow
in before our toes get any colder

but in the awful wind too
in the ice and the dark

when the roads and sky go gravel grey
and the spirit of giving fades quickly away

we'll spend all we have but stay by the fire
until the worst of winter gives way to May.
For a while I'd been avoiding rhyme and alliteration to somehow seem more serious and sensible in writing but I've realized that takes so much of the fun away from reading, so I'm working on working fun turns of phrase back in.
Nov 2018 · 3.2k
How You Feel
JAC Nov 2018
I want you
to tell me
how you feel
but right now
I still only
want you to
tell me how
you feel when
you feel the
way I want
you to feel
and it's hard
but I'm trying.
Nov 2018 · 1.0k
This is the Future
JAC Nov 2018
We fall asleep sometimes in the snow and you sing to yourself in the wrong keys
sometimes we don't speak but I have everything I've ever wanted and so much life left.
Nov 2018 · 396
A Force Like You
JAC Nov 2018
I will not make you last forever
forever is too long a sentence
imagine

writing you down
will not immortalize you
don't you know pages tire too

how selfish of me
to think I can preserve
a force like you

so you can tear yourself up
whenever you want to be forgotten.
Nov 2018 · 202
Winter Preludes
JAC Nov 2018
I.
Some of the leaves are still green
crawling between cold alleys in morning
thin wind stringing them along
carrying them towards December

II.
The trees are decorated too early
every year is an unsurprising imitation
but still you are warm inside with your family
making up for the colours you lack outside

III.
Cocktail dresses flash like little winks
hints of resolve so ready to be broken
the gold flows like goddess ichor and smiles
kissing like lovers who will leave tomorrow
loving as if we aren't

IV.
Love is in the air like chlorine gas
and no one is the wiser for it
the streets are still covered in old, dark snow
but we're too tired of it to notice
it's only a few sleeps until spring.
I love T. S. Eliot.
Nov 2018 · 279
Like the First Snow
JAC Nov 2018
I fell into you
like the first snow
fell into us

at first
not ready
unsure of what to do
sliding and slipping
but we both stuck around

soon we found
each other beautiful
we spent time together
in the dark and
in the mornings

eventually
you covered everything I knew
in a soft and wonderful blanket

sometimes
each of us tired of the other
when once we were graceful
now we were relentless

but now
by the fire
I see you out the window
and remember
our lovely dances

so I run to you
and you welcome me softly
like angels in the snow.
JAC Nov 2018
A chill whispers in through the doors
at Summerhill station in the dark
deep in a November evening again
when you're hardly halfway home
and nearly half asleep
listening to someone else's
favourite songs.
Nov 2018 · 496
Epigram 099
JAC Nov 2018
Love
is wasted
on the loved.
Nov 2018 · 168
I'll Let You In
JAC Nov 2018
Kiss me in the back of the train
share your tangled headphones

show me your favourite songs
and you can laugh at mine

we won't say anything
I'll let you in.
Nov 2018 · 330
Harbour
JAC Nov 2018
Maybe tonight I'll fall asleep
to the sound of sailboats
sweeping through the stars
collecting their life and
generously handing it out
when they reach the harbour

of course, maybe I won't.
Oct 2018 · 220
Not the Weather Outside
JAC Oct 2018
A little rain never stops you
from walking to the bus stop
and getting where you need to go

until one day it does
and you're tempted to stay inside
where your blankets cradle you
and house plants help you breathe

your own music can play you to sleep
the heat of where you call home
filling your mind with everything
that is not the weather outside.
JAC Oct 2018
I forget how much I'm a fool sometimes
when I'm struck by something beautiful
a thousand locks of tangled brown hair
or the sights outside a blustery window
I have to catch myself falling in mid-air
slow my mind and attach to my thoughts
the rules I am supposed to initially apply
when made a fool by something beautiful.
Oct 2018 · 235
Southbound to Rosedale
JAC Oct 2018
A soft hat makes it considerably easier
to avoid the inevitable purple headache
it's always too warm in the winter here
everyone wears their coat and sweater
but the heat stays on for courtesy

don't let the voice wake you
as often as it wakes everyone
you know it's coming so drown it out
with something sweet in headphones
like Tom Petty or the Nutcracker Suite

sometimes peacefulness surprises you
on your way to Rosedale in the dark
submerged in December outerwear
falling asleep against the cool glass
of the southbound train window.
Oct 2018 · 667
Thursday Nights
JAC Oct 2018
Some nights are not as good as others
for example I have never loved Thursdays
no Thursday is what you want it to be
and no Thursday night offers enough rest

some nights, maybe Thursdays, I'm awake
laying where I'd sleep with eyes closed
but mind wide open, wishing to be empty
or filled with whatever rest has to offer it

I lay lucid, still as sand, wishing gently
for your warm hand in my hair, shirt
wrapped in me, pressing me into oblivion
on a stupid sleepless Thursday night.
JAC Oct 2018
They felt
like raindrops

a fall night's cool dark air
gently pushing me backward

the unexpected satin drip
down my cheeks and
the side of my nose

blink

and one
before the other
they burst on my shoes

one, two
three

four

marks on
black leather
as I walk home
in October wind.
Oct 2018 · 1.1k
I'm Afraid to Admit
JAC Oct 2018
Dear man in the moon,

I wish to know what it is
you've to teach me from this,
and would you perhaps consider
taking unsolicited requests?
I seem to have found myself
the happiest I've ever been;
please allow in the thought
of not taking this away
from me, from them
I'll not say this lightly
but I need them.
Oct 2018 · 345
Slipping in Three-four Time
JAC Oct 2018
How
musical
we feel

brushing
against
each other

a slow dance
of clumsy graces
a waltz in soft touch

socks
on the faux hardwood
kitchen floor.
Oct 2018 · 148
The Sea Robin Apartment
JAC Oct 2018
I am home in the embrace
of a home that misses me
returning from long days
among the cold rejections
of the great, dark outside.
Oct 2018 · 264
A Neon Dance
JAC Oct 2018
A headphone splitter cable
for a late-night neon dance

like fools to the rest of the world
fully content in our own rhythms

the lights swirl around us in streaks
as we peacefully forget we're not alone.
Oct 2018 · 383
Oh How Much I Wish
JAC Oct 2018
I wish you knew how often
I wish for you to know
how much I wish
for you to know
how much
you have
to go.
Oct 2018 · 244
Hymn to a Storm (Reprise)
JAC Oct 2018
I enjoy the way your hair
is always kind of everywhere
and the way your mind is like that too
as if everywhere is nowhere for you
the way you explain so nicely
just what you have to say, precisely
while your smile, beaming like an eclipse
hides conversations behind your lips
so thoughtful, so understanding
with a presence simply demanding
that I smile around you
and so, I do.

--

I miss the way your hair
was always kind of everywhere
and the way your mind was like that too
as if everywhere was nowhere to you
I miss the way you'd explain so nicely
just what you had to say, precisely
while your frown, the moon in an eclipse
kept conversation far beneath your lips
you were thoughtful and understanding
with a presence simply demanding
that I be there for you
but I wasn't.
The first stanza was written a few years ago, the second only recently.
Oct 2018 · 254
Nikes
JAC Oct 2018
As crisply as new shoes
meet ancient pavement

confident and certain
but not yet broken in

we set off into a sprint
hand in hand, grinning

and we could run for miles.
JAC Sep 2018
There is not a single solitary sound
in the apartment under the airway

until the booming rush of departure
fills the little walls with great noise

all at once the whole world trembles
and so quickly to silence I'll return.
Sep 2018 · 189
Epigram 094
JAC Sep 2018
You love me for who I am
or I am a **** good liar.
JAC Sep 2018
Close your eyes
and listen to the sound
of eternity circling you

it dances in swirling steps
in rhythm you can feel
with fingertips outstretched

when you stop a moment
it will always find you again
if you want to befriend reality.

if you don't, that's okay,
it'll wait forever for you.
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