I remember the pain
my heart was overflown with.
I remember how I inflicted
wounds into my porcelain skin.
a punishment
for not being the girl
he wished for.
I still remember the sting
of your voice as it echoed
move on
through my membrane.
I had dedicated my all to you,
but it was never enough.
I did everything
to make your lips remain
pursed against mine,
to keep your fingertips tracing my features.
I did everything
to fight against my corrupted thoughts,
to hide from my monsters.
but I forgot
that no matter how far I ran,
how hard I tried to believe I was okay,
my monsters,
my demons,
my disease
remained in my core.
and because of my weakness
and inability to control
I forgot to remember
to love myself.