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  Jan 2020 kain
Andreya Celeste
Dear you,

I guess I don't know how to speak to you in person. Well, I have before. Talking to you used to be so easy, like walking from one room to the next. Now, I remind myself which foot to step with. And when I'm finally in the next room, you are no longer there. Instead, the lights burn out, leaving me in the darkness.

You used to be my light. When I couldn't find a seat in a crowded room, you lit the way to the empty seat beside you. When you wrapped your arms around me, sparks grew into fireworks. Both of our smiles could set the world on fire.

When you told me how beautiful I was, I swore the stars shone brighter. There was no dark side of the moon, just as there were no dark side of you.

Instead of being the night, you were my knight. You waved your silver sword, daring anyone to try and hurt me. No one would try, for they know who they will have to get through first.

But this entire time, I was so focused on you keeping others out that I didn't realize who was slowly creeping in.

You.

You pointed your sharp sword at my heart. I cried so hard, begging you, "Please, don't hurt me." I cried so much that tears fell into my mouth, choking me while oceans fell from my eyes. It didn't matter in the end.

You were deaf.

Your sword struck, hard. Your hateful words and actions filled into me like a disease, while happiness flowed out of my heart.

I'm still alive. I'm still breathing.

When I look into the mirror, I see the person I used to be. Scars and all. I see the girl who loved you. I see the face that you once called beautiful.

How I wish I could hear your voice again.

I guess I don't know how to speak to you in person. Not anymore.

Instead of pouring tears, I'm pouring words. Words that you need to hear.

This is to you.

From,

Me
  Jan 2020 kain
Qualyxian Quest
The poems can come from illness
Because life is a disease

The gentle ones (no shrillness)
Some future father for to please

Though death it closes all
I’ve been grateful on my knees

The moon so cloudy clueful
The sky is endless seas!
  Jan 2020 kain
Qualyxian Quest
If I live two decades more
How will I endure?

Eternity asleep
Enticing the allure
kain Jan 2020
I'm still learning
Learning to be loved
Learning to be beautiful
Learning to watch the blood
Dripping from my ceiling
And recognize it
As just a dream
Learning to be kind
Learning to be pure
Learning to shower three times a week
Learning that I
Am a creature of the night
Learning that the moon is beautiful
And darkness is my friend
Learning how to sleep
And learning how to dream
Learning that dreams
Are the only way we truly see
I am enough and I deserve to love and sleep. But I'm more than my dreams, and my nightmares don't represent me.
kain Jan 2020
I'm in a romantic mood tonight
Strangely soft and sappy
Or maybe I'm just
With the people I love
Talking and laughing and listening and growing
All tangled up
But no longer
A puppet of my emotions
Trying to be cryptic but coming off as basic is something I do best.
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